In Search of Confidence: Finding Fun

In fairness to me, he jumps everything like a big jump.

One of the big obstacles I've faced in my quest for solid jumping confidence is other people's expectations. I get so sick of hearing "oh, but you won't grow unless you're pushing yourself" and "that needs to be bigger" and "it's not about the jumps".

Because when confidence is your problem, those little crossrails might actually be what pushing yourself looks like and when you're that vulnerable, it's easy to let that little bit of social pressure push you over the edge to changing what should have been a confidence building experience into something scary and unproductive.

Happy over little things

And yeah, sometimes it is about the jumps. So there.

Anyways. The lovely Alyssa came out to play yesterday. The jumps were all teeny and easy looking, and Courage and I jumped around like the biggest badasses at the baby show. I did the hard work in the corners and settled toward the jumps and gave big releases and rode happy and forward and (GET THIS) nailed every change. Yeah, we do those now. Well, he does them if I ride straight and forward, but it counts.

Begone, latent oxer phobia!!

Anyways. I was really happy with our round. I stopped and chatted with Alyssa and looked out at the jumps. And I thought about how well I rode and how good my horse was.

And I asked her to raise them.

And then I jumped them again with no fear and I rode well and my horse was awesome.

Are we "there"? We're getting closer. It is a HUGE step for me to ask for jumps to go up and even bigger to not wory when they do. It wasn't a complex course and the raised jumps still weren't what I'd call "big", but that's not the point.

All photos by Alyssa.

The point is that it's working. The mental work behind the scenes, the trainer rides, the extensive flat work, the jumping little things until I'm blue in the face. I'm getting there and it's working and IT'S SO MUCH FUN. :-)

The SprinklerBandit and Courage, having fun.