Ruthlessly Exclude: The Journey

Emma wrote a post about why we do what we do. It's good. You should read it.

It's a topic I have put a lot of thought into lately for pretty obvious reasons. See, left to my own devices, I consistently pick horses like this:

hot, short coupled, fancy

hot, short coupled, fancy

See also: short coupled, scopey, hot Hot HOT, difficult.

They're talented horses. Athletic horses. Hell, if I could ride them, they'd go a long ways.

Yeah.

If.

mmhmm

Here's the thing: I grew up a barn rat and rode anything anyone would let me. I've worked for three different trainers. Subconsciously, I think of myself as that sort of ride-anything-go-anywhere sort of rider.

But like.

I'm not anymore. I'm not as young as I was. I have a lot of mental and physical baggage. I work a full time office job. I'm a one horse ammy and I need to start thinking like one.

moar naps

Admitting that is just the first step.

The scary part is what comes after. Because if I admit yeah, I'm not god's gift to riding and no, I'm not going Grand Prix (nor do I actually want to), then the next step is like. What do I want to do? Why am I here in the first place? What is it about the whole "horse thing" that keeps me coming back for more?

There's not a wrong answer.

such attractive

Here are some of my personal answers:

1) Horses are my outlet. The barn is my place to go where the real world isn't a thing anymore.

That means I need it to be a place I can relax and have fun, not a place where I'm struggling and pushing myself.

And that means I need a horse that's just as happy to toodle as I am.

2) Horses are also my way of understanding the world and being the best self I can be.

That means I need to have goals I can work towards. Not impossible, imaginary, pie-in-the-sky "dreams", but real life goals.

Which means I need a horse that shows up to work and wants to do the job I have in mind.

3) Horses are my addiction. I can't change my addictive personality, but I can channel it in productive ways instead of letting it destroy me.

That means that I need a horse that I want to spend time thinking about. One that's pretty to look at or fun to be around.

Which means the horse isn't a tool or a means to an end. The horse is a personality unto itself that makes my life more worthwhile.

this. this was good.

When I put those things together, the horse I see meeting those needs in my life isn't the short-coupled, hotter-than-shit, upper-level-prospect. I've certainly learned a lot from my horses--some hard lessons, some fun lessons, a lot of growing up lessons.

And those things are all (mostly) good.

The phase of my life where I worked for trainers and rode everything in front of me is over. Permanently. I love my ammy life and I love saying no to riding the stupid horses and I love having one horse I can bond with and obsess over and dress impeccably. I like going to local shows. I like riding in clinics. I like trail rides and photo shoots and zany adventures and random open shows.

I said I wouldn't horse shop until later this summer/fall. Definitely not until things with C are settled. I don't like having two horses.

But on the advice of Roxie's mom, I put together a list of must-haves for Horsie #4. Ruthlessly exclude, she said. And she has a Roxiecorn. So she knows. "Ruthlessly exclude" means setting realistic parameters for #4 and committing them to writing, then immediately ruling out all candidates that do not meet the parameters.

pictured: roxiecorn in action

So of course, I'm casually poking around. WHICH IS TOTALLY NOT HORSE SHOPPING.

"Ruthlessly exclude" has taken me down a very different path then I've ever been before. It has involved falling down some very interesting (and adorable) rabbit holes. It's simplified the process by removing that which shouldn't have been there in the first place. It's pushing me to find new solutions.

My situation is not settled (though there are potentially exciting things on the horizon), but giving myself permission to ruthlessly exclude has had the interesting side effect of letting me see the possibilities of the future. It isn't what I ever thought I would want, but the closer it gets to reality, the more right it feels.

The future is exciting, guys.

Stay posted.

Well This Sucks

We've been not talking about Courage for a long time now, so let's talk about him.

First things first--it's been a process, but I think we've hammered out the maintenance that will work for him and he's sound in work and ready to go. Vet doesn't foresee any limitations in terms of dressage/trails/whatever on the flat. Trainer is putting rides on him and says he feels really good.

(Btw for those of you keeping track--while Alli definitely got the prize for best comment on my last post, the neck twist was a chiropractic issue that has been handled. Quite simple.)

But.

Courage is an all-or-nothing sort of horse.

And while for a long time I've been able to appreciate that or laugh it off or make memes about it, now is not that time. I'm wading through a lot of personal shit and there isn't an end in sight and I can't make it stop.

But it means I can't bring my A-game to Courage.

And that doesn't work for him.

Right now, I need horses to be simple and fun. I need them to bring me joy, not force me to wrack my brain and push myself constantly.

Courage isn't a bad horse. He's a really cool guy in a lot of ways. He never quits trying. He's smart, he learns fast, he works hard. He's gorgeous and photogenic and good to have around.

Believe you me, I wish I could keep making this work. I adore him and he's done a lot for me and I wish there was some way I could keep trying.

It's taking all I've got to deal with life shit and there's nothing left over to deal with Courage.

That's not his fault. It's not my fault. It just is.

Of course, there's this whole giant blog about him and I've been quite public about our struggles, which probably won't help the re-homing process. I don't believe in back editing/deleting that stuff though, so it is what it is. I haven't posted ads at this point because he's a particular kind of horse and he needs a particular kind of person.

So if you or someone you know wants a gorgeous, fabulous horse with some quirks, talk to me. Obviously, there will be full disclosure of all vet records etc. Nobody needs surprises.

I'm not quitting horses and there will be another eventually, but my #1 priority is finding Courage the right place.

And once more, his stupid name is strangely relevant.

Courage

WW: Old Horse, New Tricks

You're just jealous of his sweet new head twist.

(And yes. He's seeing the vet. Again. BAI MONEY NICE KNOWIN YA.)

PS Wanna play pin the diagnosis on the OTTB? Leave your guess in the comments. Winner gets a prize of my choosing.

Custom Portable Drying Rack: Another SB Blog Non-Crafty DIY

I dunno about the rest of y'all, but I read these awesome crafty write ups and am like damn ladies. You so fine. I'm just over here being average.

you too can do a craft

Because they're like Step One: get some shit (ok yes tracking so far i can do stores) and then it's like Step Two: use this other shit you have sitting around (hard pass i don't have those things and NOPE not going back to the store) and I sometimes keep nodding along like oh yeah that makes so much sense even I could do that.

Funny joke no. I could not.

I am the best at ordering things on the internet. Like pizza. If that was a craft, I would be the craft queen.

But it is not.

now all i can think about is pizza

So if you're more like me than you normally admit out loud and/or if you super need a drying rack for your shit, you're in the right place. I promise you simple step-by-step instructions and BEST PART you don't even need any supplies. Best. Craft. Ever.

1) Get a beverage. Dehydration is a real thing and so is pacing yourself and not trying too hard. You can choose an appropriate beverage for your lifestyle choices and situation. I went with the biggest iced coffee I could find to get me jazzed up for crafts.

pro tip: if you bring your corgi to the coffee drive thru, the annoying barista will talk to him instead of you
#winning

2) It kind of goes without saying that you need wet stuff to put on your drying rack and that if you're building it outside, the weather should be amenable to drying. On my particular test day it was 90f+ with no humidity and I had just scrubbed all the boots I keep in my tack trunk but didn't want to be THAT BOARDER who clogs up the wash rack with their shit.

pictured: not the rack you will be building

3) Get some twine. Now this is where it gets tricky. I'm going to throw in some safety warnings here:

3a) Do not take twine off of bales still in the hay stack, particularly not ones which might create a booby trap for you BO. That is dangerous and mean. 

3b) If taking twine out of the garbage, make sure to check for various critters before just jamming your hand into a dark hole you can't see. I take no responsibility for said hand getting bitten by snakes or rats or cats or whatever varmints are around your place. 

pictured: not a varmint

My particular twine came from the trash because my barn is fab about not leaving loose twine on bales.

3c) There are different colors of twine. You can use any color.

3d) If your barn does not have twine, you should probably give up now. Otherwise you have to buy string and that's a downer.

4) Find an out of the way place that is reasonably close to your stall where no one has an excuse to tamper with your shit that you are ok with having water drip all over. This step might be harder in a super fancy barn that's like "indoors" when you're inside it. My barn aisle is dirt so I can drip away.

pictured: drunk horse in barn aisle

5) Tie the twine to a fixed point. If you have scissors, you can hard tie it. If you do not have access to blades, do a quick release.

6) Tie the other end of the twine to a different fixed point. You end result should look like a loop of twine hanging between two fixed points.

yeah that's impossible to see. it's a feature.

7) Hang wet shit on drying rack.

8) PARTAY GIRLFRIEND YOU DID IT. Pat yourself on the back and enjoy your beverage.

9) I mentioned this rack is fully custom and portable. If you want to level up, you can braid several pieces of twine together in your colors or hang multiple loops. If you need to move it, you can just take it wherever. If your BO complains, you can even wear it like a necklace and just prance around with your wet boots dripping on you as kind of a "statement piece".

WHOA FASHION ADVICE.

You didn't see that coming.

And there you go. I know there's kind of a lot of steps but I wanted to cover my bases and over-prepare you guys rather than let you get to the middle of the project and realize that you needed more information to proceed. And hey! If you successfully complete this project, take a picture and send it to me!

Or just have a sip of your beverage and don't.