First things first--it's been a process, but I think we've hammered out the maintenance that will work for him and he's sound in work and ready to go. Vet doesn't foresee any limitations in terms of dressage/trails/whatever on the flat. Trainer is putting rides on him and says he feels really good.
(Btw for those of you keeping track--while Alli definitely got the prize for best comment on my last post, the neck twist was a chiropractic issue that has been handled. Quite simple.)
But.
Courage is an all-or-nothing sort of horse.
And while for a long time I've been able to appreciate that or laugh it off or make memes about it, now is not that time. I'm wading through a lot of personal shit and there isn't an end in sight and I can't make it stop.
But it means I can't bring my A-game to Courage.
And that doesn't work for him.
Right now, I need horses to be simple and fun. I need them to bring me joy, not force me to wrack my brain and push myself constantly.
Courage isn't a bad horse. He's a really cool guy in a lot of ways. He never quits trying. He's smart, he learns fast, he works hard. He's gorgeous and photogenic and good to have around.
Believe you me, I wish I could keep making this work. I adore him and he's done a lot for me and I wish there was some way I could keep trying.
It's taking all I've got to deal with life shit and there's nothing left over to deal with Courage.
That's not his fault. It's not my fault. It just is.
Of course, there's this whole giant blog about him and I've been quite public about our struggles, which probably won't help the re-homing process. I don't believe in back editing/deleting that stuff though, so it is what it is. I haven't posted ads at this point because he's a particular kind of horse and he needs a particular kind of person.
So if you or someone you know wants a gorgeous, fabulous horse with some quirks, talk to me. Obviously, there will be full disclosure of all vet records etc. Nobody needs surprises.
I'm not quitting horses and there will be another eventually, but my #1 priority is finding Courage the right place.
And once more, his stupid name is strangely relevant.
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| Courage |
<3 hugs and cheetos from me and my pet ghost
ReplyDeleteBut what kind of cheetos? #eternalquestion
DeleteI'm sure this was a hard decision to come to and I'm sorry for your pain.
ReplyDeleteIt sucks a lot. Thanks.
DeleteHugs for you my friend. An agonizing decision, but we're all here for you and C.
ReplyDeleteGoing through the same thing with my horse right now, and it sucks. Best of luck to you and Courage. I'm here for you if you need it.
ReplyDeleteThanks. :-(
Delete<3 A tough decision, but I know you'll find him a perfect home.
ReplyDeleteCross fingers. Cross toes. Cross arms.
DeleteIt's a hard decision but seems like the right one for both of you. Wishing you the best of luck in the re-homing process. If you aren't concerned about the financial end of things, re-homing him through Canter USA or some other reputable rescue may be a great way to go. He'll end up in a good home and stay away from border trucks that way. I've had great success re-homing maintenance OTTB's this way. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not concerned about the financial end. Thank you for the idea.
DeleteUgh. I'm sorry. Here's to finding the best new path for you both.
ReplyDeleteAlways an adventure.
DeleteI'm sure you'll find a good place for him to land. Sorry you're going through this.
ReplyDeleteVerily I say unto thee, it sucketh.
DeleteHugs. I know what a tough decision this was for you. Fingers crossed for the future.
ReplyDeleteAll crossables firmly crossed. Nightwish on repeat.
DeleteI'm really sorry, I know this is hard. I think you and him both have the potential to be happier in the long run, and am hoping a perfect home shows up quickly.
ReplyDelete:-/ We've talked about it before and here it is.
DeleteI'm sorry it's not working out for you two. But it's great for you both that you recognize that. You will do right by him, and things will be ok. I hope you come across the right person for him soon.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I was going to say. Things will be ok. You have always done right by him and this will be another example of that. It still sucks though, I'm sorry.
DeleteHugs from an internet stranger... I've loved reading about Courage over the past few years and I will miss him. Part of me wants to take home all of these blogger horses and keep them for their moms until life is more doable... but I think my husband would kill me.
ReplyDeleteStay alive!
DeleteI'm sorry. Best of luck in your rehoming and keep strong in your other struggles.
ReplyDeleteI hate everything. That is all.
Delete<3 you. Choices are hard to make, but this one seems well thought out and in the best interest of both of you. Kudos and strength.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
Deletethere isn't really anything to say that you don't already know. you've left no stone unturned. you've given everything to this horse, tried anything for him. you've done your best by him, and have kept him safe, healthy and happy. i'm sorry that there wasn't ultimately a greater reward for your efforts. wishing you good luck in finding the perfect situation for him - Renee's idea is actually quite interesting and one that hadn't occurred to me before but might be worth a look.
ReplyDeletePretty much what I wanted to say. I hope this results in happier days for you and for him. It's too emotionally, physically and financially all consuming not to be a positive aspect of your life.
DeleteI'm not so arrogant that I think I'm the end-all and be-all of horsemanship. I would be so thrilled if he found someone to really connect with.
DeleteYou did all you could and enlisted professionals to help you with what you couldn't. By the looks of everything on this blog you went above and beyond to give this all you had. Horsemanship isn't about getting the horse perfect, it's about doing what's perfect for the horse. You've done that.
DeleteI will echo Austen's comment. YOu have moved heaven and earth to make the relationship work and have nothing to feel ashamed of. It's not the solution you wanted but I think it's a good one. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI made a meme about this but decided it was too dark for the internet. #whoops
DeleteOh man. So sorry to hear this, though to ditto what Austen said, you have very obviously thought this through, and it seems like a good decision. Wishing you so much luck in finding him the perfect situation.
ReplyDeleteThanks. :-)
DeleteHugs. Tough decision, and I hope the life shit starts to settle itself down a little bit for you too. It's no fun to have all that going on at once.
ReplyDeleteIt is the least fun. I can verify.
Delete100% understand where you are and where you both are coming from. I'm wishing you the best of luck and please keep us posted as to how you continue to fare
ReplyDeleteThere are hopefully good things on the horizon for everything.
DeleteSending you lots of love from the East coast. I hope you can find a great home for him and that you are able to spend time on yourself for a while. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks. :-) Wish you guys were closer.
Delete((Hugs)) Reading this makes me sad, but I know that if you've got to this point there aren't any other options that you haven't explored. Good luck with finding him a great home and I hope all your personal struggles, whatever they might be, work out as well.
ReplyDeleteInternet hugs are the best hugs.
DeleteI'm so sorry, what a horrible rotten decision to have to make. Kudos to you for doing what is right for both you and C. You've done an amazing job by this horse setting him up for succes in his next endeavor. Hugs to you for the sucky decision and whatever else is going on.
ReplyDeleteEverything. Everything is going on all at once.
Deletetotally get how hard this is
ReplyDeleteHugs and bottles of wine to you. I wish for both of you to find the best new path to journey down.
ReplyDeleteThanks. :-)
DeleteHugs to you. I know that was a very difficult decision.
ReplyDelete:-/ Hopefully for the best.
DeleteSorry to hear this but I totally admire your transparency and willingness to take this hard step. It is very obvious you are a true horsewoman and want what is best for your horse.
ReplyDeleteThanks. :-)
DeleteAw so sorry to hear that, I had to make the same decision with Wizard but it truly worked out for the best for both of us (even though I miss him frequently). Best of luck
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear this. Hugs, and best wishes for a smooth re-homing process!
ReplyDeleteI second everyone else's encouraging comments and just add that you come first. Period.
ReplyDeleteGotta do what you gotta do. Doesn't make it easy or fun.
DeleteI hope you can find a great situation for both of you that can help make your time together a mostly wonderful memory that simply came to a bittersweet close. You've done so much good for him and deserve a situation that does as much good for you too!
ReplyDeleteAll the feels -- here's to some virtual alcoholic shots <3
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear it, but good for you for recognizing what you both need - even though it does suck.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about all the personal shit you're going through, and where that leaves both you and Courage. Best wishes for the perfect home to find him quickly
ReplyDeleteugh I'm so sorry.This is really, really tough. But, I agree, horses should be fun, and enjoyable and sometimes, when other shit is going on you need that even more. :(
ReplyDeleteYeah. I keep coming back to that. This isn't working.
DeleteSo sorry to hear that. Fingers crossed for both of you - for him, a perfect home, and for you, a little real-life and perfect-equine-finding luck.
ReplyDeleteHugs being sent. Having made a similar decision for myself in the past I can say that it was the right decision for me in the long run. It was extremely tough for awhile but it did get better. Sorry for everything you're going through.
ReplyDeleteHope you both find the best situation for you both!! <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteWell, no one could ever say you didn't give it your absolute best effort. C is lucky to have such an active, thoughtful, and compassionate guardian. A lot of horses aren't so lucky. I know you'll find the best solution for him... and, obviously, I'm here for you. ❤️
ReplyDeleteI've got nothing but hugs. You know I had to make the same type of choice and I know there's nothing anyone can do but offer hugs. And possibly booze.
ReplyDeleteNothing to add except tons of virtual support and lots of good wishes for finding him the best of homes
ReplyDeleteHugs to you during this tough time.
ReplyDeleteI am not a longtime reader, but everything I have read has always indicated that Courage comes first. You have done a remarkable job of making that happen. I know this must be one of the toughest decisions (if not the toughest) that didn't come lightly. I've spent a lot of time thinking about selling my own horse and it is tough. I love him to pieces but this has to be fun. When it's not fun and it feels like a chore, it makes for very difficult decisions. Internet hugs and sympathetic thoughts. YMMV (with specific situations, etc), but I know how it feels to feel completely overwhelmed and I'd wish it on no one.
ReplyDeleteI'm not often a commenter but I want you to know that I am sending you all the virtual support from an internet stranger.
ReplyDeleteAll the hugs. I'm so sorry to hear that real life is so very sucky right now and that it's led to this.
ReplyDeleteYou know, at some point you have to do what's best for both of you, even if it's not what you dreamed about. I've always thought that finding the right horse is like finding a spouse - you truly have to mesh with them and be in love for it to really work. If it doesn't, life it too short for you both to keep plugging along in a situation that's not making you happy. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteAs usual, JenJ says what's in my head. ^ She nailed it. I am so sorry to read this, but it sounds like you're making the right decision. All the hugs.
ReplyDeletei am sorry to read this but can totally understand and feel that you have all the right ideas going on. Best of luck finding him the perfect place and life is too short for us not to be happy with what we are doing. SO if both you and Courage get happier then it is all worth it in the end. I have had horses that I could NOT just NOT. Luckily they were leases so I didnt have to find the home for them but still, it is brutal to go through no matter. I am thinking of you and hope it all comes out fine in the end!! Keep trudging! We are all there for you and Courage!
ReplyDeleteNot that it makes it suck any less, but so much applause for all you've done for him, and that you are going to find him the right situation.
ReplyDelete