I'm stuck at work this morning, which I guess is ok. It's crappy cold and yuck outside and if I'm going to start actually paying board, then I'm going to need to actually earn money. Crazy world, huh?
I just got off the phone with the owner of potential boarding facility #3. (Note: Our current location is referred to as facility #1, so you're not missing anything. I just numbered funny.) She sounds pretty nice and I'm going out to visit tomorrow.
In the mean time, I'm going to go ahead and make the list that Marissa recommended about my requirements for a facility. That will allow me to more objectively evaluate what I'm looking at. I'm also following Frizzle's suggestion to go to our (only) tack store and look for recommendations there.
Ultimately, I'm trying to be careful. I want the best possible care for Miss Izzy, but I don't want to burn any bridges getting there. I haven't told Cathy that I'm looking at other facilities because I don't want her to feel like she's competing. I also don't want her to think that if she just did X, I'd stay... (actually, that's probably true. X=turnout in this equation.) Basically, I want to make the best possible decision for Izzy without burning any bridges behind me. If I leave where I'm at now, I want to come back and visit and have there be no (or minimal) awkwardness.
I like the people, I just know that my girl needs more than what she's getting and I'm tired of having to compromise on that. I somewhat wish that my friend who kept her for a while would have been willing to continue the arrangement, but at the same time, I think it's time for me to take responsibility for Izzy and not just feel like I'm mooching off people. I want to pay X bill and know that my horse is going to be taken care of to a certain standard. I don't want to just work and work and work and then maybe occasionally get a lesson. That aggravates me.
It's funny to go to new places, though. I ask lots of questions and try to learn as much as I can while I'm there, but I don't want to bring up old grievances. Sounds like dating almost. ;-)
PS Just contacted yet another facility. Wish me luck!!
It is a bit like dating and that's what makes it tricky. If you leave "someone" it's a bit like breaking up.
ReplyDeleteI've faced my share of hard feelings when leaving various barns. Usually, though, because the new place offered something the old place did not have, that was an OK reason. So, if the new place is closer or has better facilities for Izzy, you should be fine leaving the current barn.
Good luck. And the list is a great idea.
I'm so glad my suggestion might help! Leaving a barn brings up so many emotions... when it comes down to it, entrusting someone with the care of your horse is a deeply personal thing, and it's hard to tell someone "I don't want to leave my horse with you anymore" without injuring their pride or hurting their feelings. I think that if you give a reason for leaving that has nothing to do with your current farm or trainer and is something out of her control, it softens the blow a little, and you can leave without burning bridges. It's definitely not easy though. I just did it and it totally felt like a break-up talk. *Big sigh.*
ReplyDeleteUgh, it's a tough tough tough decision. I've gone to about 10 different barns always checking to see if there is something better/more affordable/closer and so far ..it's NO. I drive 60 min and it's a bear. 40 is better.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes down to it, you will know what is right and it's your horse, your choice.
Your horse, your money, your decision. What is best for everyone is different.
ReplyDeleteMaking a list of things you will must have, a list of things you will consider and a list you won't even bother with, really helps narrow things down quickly.
It is a lot like dating and sometimes you may leave without making waves, yet someone still gets all bent out of shape and butt hurt. If you are leaving for legitimate reasons- that's their problem. Not everyone can behave like adults.
I can't imagine having my horse at a place I do not feel 100% good about, but then I know sometimes you do what you have to do and sometimes it is inevitable. Luckily, horses are such adapatable creatures, unlike some humans! I hope you find the right barn and that it isn't too frustrating for you and Izzy. You're right: she deserves what you deem is important for her! And you deserve to have a barn where all of your needs are met so you don't have to fret about it. Ever. Good luck! I will be reading on with great interest. I am also going to read Marissa's suggestions if they are accessible! I'm not looking for a new barn, but I like to see what's out there. After all, what if (god forbid) my horse guy died? What if I had to find my horse a new place to live? All I can say is that it would stress me out greatly.
ReplyDeleteYour posts have been a great help to me this week as I (re) start my barn shopping venture. It is such a pain. But you seem pretty clear on what you will/won't accept which is a great step in the right direction! I am sure that with lots of hunting you will find something perfect for Izzy! I can't wait to hear about more locations!
ReplyDeleteFingers and toes crossed for you. Looking for a new place to keep your horse, is worse that dating in my opinion. At least with a bad date, you can just go home and not think about them again unless you both live in a very small town. The horse community is always like living in a very small town. You have to be so careful about what you say and do, and who you say it to or do it with.
ReplyDeleteUgh, looking at barns is both exciting and frightening. I've been just where you are, and the major issue was turnout as well. Good for you for not compromising! I hope you find the right place for you and Izzy soon. It is always weird to "go behind your current barn owner's back" to find a place, but you have to do what you have to do.
ReplyDelete