Get Your Tack Ho Score

I can neither confirm nor deny the rumors and Teresa and Leah and I renamed our group chat "Tack Ho Cult" after Carly started throwing around accusations about our proclivities. All I can say is that when I proposed compiling a list of how you know you might be a tack ho, the suggestions started flying.

And no, husbands who are reading this, DEFINITELY NONE OF THIS IS TRUE NOR BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. It's all hyperbolic. OBVIOUSLY.

Without further ado.

Give yourself one Tack Ho Point for each of these that applies to you:

...if you find a bridle you forgot you had

...if "I love my tack and it looks good on my horse" is a legit reason not to sell him

...if buying a new bridle is a better idea than switching bits between the old ones

...if you sell your couch to buy horse things

...if you time your purchases to arrive on days your SO won't get the mail first

...if you own more saddle pads than underpants

...if you can write a dissertation on breech fit without looking anything up

...if buying a bridle is your solution for having too many browbands

y'all remember Otto

...if your tack is so recognizable that people refer to it by name. Double points if they still recognize it after you sell it.

...if you've been referred to as "the saddle pad girl" at your GMO meeting

...if complete strangers email you to ask for tack advice and you don't mind

...if people you barely know consistently tag you on sales posts that remind them of you

...if you know your horse's measurements by heart but can't even come close on your own

...if people at shows know you by your outfit, not your riding

...if you've ever picked up a new discipline just so you can buy new tack

...if your favorite holiday all year is "Black Friday Sales"

...if you have a reliable system for finding the best price on any equine-related item

the pretties

...if your favorite part of horse shows is the vendor village

...if your friends ask you to shop for them

...if your version of hell includes orange leather and/or Australia post

...if your browband lady knows you personally and can predict your wants. Double points if you have more than one supplier.

whhhhat no

...if your gelding regularly gets mistaken for a mare because of his outfits

...if your biggest goal for a horse is to be a tack model

...if you or your SO has to build a shed or custom organizational system

...if the value of the tack in your car easily exceeds the value of your car

...if you look at equestrian real estate and immediately think of how much tack you can put in the barn

...if you buy a jump saddle for a horse that doesn't jump

...if your friends hear you talking about new boots and automatically know they're for the horse, not you

...if you know more about your friend's tack than their personal lives

...if your friend doesn't respond over text, so you start calling dibs on all their tack

...if your auto correct knows to suggest Le Mieux, Ogilvy, and Topline in context

hello great outfit

...if all your suggested ads are tack

...if you have to buy a present for a baby shower and you get mad that it ruins your tack ads

...if you sulk because the show photographer didn't get pictures of you because you wanted to show off your cute outfit

...if you get accused of being in a Tack Ho Cult, so you start one

Ok, tally up your totals!!

1-10: you're probably normal

11-20: welcome to the dark side

21-28: no one should leave you unattended at the trade fair

29-37: you're probably in Tack Ho Cult already

and you know what this is

What's your score?

I'm... um... 34