In Search of Confidence: Building the Partnership

March or April 2014

One thing that I have found supremely frustrating this year is that Courage and I came out bold and happy this spring--we were jumping 2'-2'6" on a loose rein in a good balance.

Engage Flail Apparatus

And then the shit hit the fan and sort of just spiraled downhill. I've been working through this a bit lately just because it sure feels like we started taking lessons and that prompted the whole mess.

But I know that's not it. I even wrote an angsty post about it, but it annoyed me and I never published it.

Really, we were unlocking Courage's body and allowing him to use it in new ways. As a smart, athletic horse, he was exploring what that meant.

Baby steps

I mean, as great as our first picture is, Courage came straight off the track after 7 years of racing. He didn't know how to be a horse. He didn't know how to jump. He didn't trot on the bit and he had no freaking clue how to canter a 20 meter circle without losing his mind and flailing.

Early summer lesson

He tries hard and he loves being the best at things, but even a very talented horse has a learning curve. Despite his ideal conformation and excellent form, Courage had to learn to really power off that fantastic hind end of his so he could clear oxers and carry a balance forward.

Learning about bascule

He's easy to ride in the sense that he flails and dolphin leaps instead of rearing and bucking, but that doesn't mean he understands how to use that gorgeous body of his.

Truthfully, he's very difficult to ride because he is so sensitive, especially when he isn't sure. Our horrific XC experience at least led to time out of the saddle where Courage could figure out his own body.

Ba BAM

And once he got it, Courage REALLY got it. The only limit was how much lunging I wanted to do and how high my standards were.

and LAUNCH

When I started riding over fences again, I had a horse who attacked the jumps but didn't necessarily have the flat work to be solid with a rider. 

The basics were in place, but it was more low jumps and steering so we could be on the same page. It didn't really matter that I had confidence issues, because Courage didn't need big jumps. He needed slow, steady repetition to figure out the rules of this great new game.

Scope much?

That's not to say he didn't jump big jumps--he got to address a few larger fences with a competent rider up. He wasn't (and still really isn't) ready to face down big grids, so we limited his exposure to big fences to simple questions that he understood with generous placing poles.

Mastering demons

Once Courage understood the questions, it was time for me to step up my game. No more crest releases and backseat event riding. Couage is a game and forward horse who uses the hell out of his neck and back and he damn well needs a release.

I'll be honest and say Courage is hands down the best jumper I've ever put time on. He's not just safe--he's talented and sensitive and scopey and if he needs me to ride better, then I owe it to him to step up my game.

Not gonna lie. This part was hard because it forced me to break my mental game down to it's minutest pieces and put it back together in a whole new way.

On the same page, finally

I can't just put leg on and take my brain off. I have to give Courage an educated ride and then he gives me his absolute best.

I have no doubt that Courage and I have lots of adventures and lessons to come. I"m hardly the world's greatest rider and he's still plenty green, but we're in a place where we can learn together and still have a good time.

Back to the calm

So did this summer's crap come from pushing too hard or would I have gotten through it sooner if we just pushed harder? I don't really know. I guess there is no way to know. I'm sue there are other ways to address the problems we had, but our way worked for us.

A big takeaway for me is that handling pressure is a trained response and in order for Courage to thrive, I need to be very in tune with how much pressure he's up to handling on any given day.

Note world's longest running attachment.

Truthfully, I just want to ride competently around 3'-3'3" courses on my fun, safe horse that I also trail ride and play on.

Instead of being frustrated by our set backs, I remind myself of just how far we've come this year. Yeah, the jumps aren't much bigger and we're a far cry from that 3' course, but Courage is stronger, braver, and more educated and I'm riding at a whole new level.

It just takes time.