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| because sometimes you need a tiara on your tophat |
It worked for me.
I'm lucky enough to be perpetually surrounded by wonderful people that I claim as barn family, even though we're not related. It's actually a big part of picking a barn for me--I spend a lot of time and social energy there, so it needs to be a place that I can feel safe and at home.
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| um yeah unrelated and completely adorable |
So what about the rest of you? Is having blood relatives as awesome as it sounds or do you go the adoptive route too?
My mother is sometimes involved and helps a bit with finances, but my father doesn't particularly care. It's a bit depressing, really, but nothing I can do about it!
ReplyDeleteSame as Hawk. My mom is a horse person and the one that got me into this stuff. She comes to all the shows she can and sometimes pays for things, because she likes it and as an "I'm sorry" for not being able to get me riding as a kid/teen. My dad, on the other hand, is terrified of watching me ride. That's why him coming to our last event this year was so huge.
ReplyDeleteGreat barn family though. They are the best.
SUCH a great post! I'm in the same boat as you: I have a totally non-horsey family, so when I pick a barn, I absolutely have to have a barn family that comes with it. I think a barn family (related by blood or otherwise) is crucial to riding. As horse people, we often spend a lot of time at the barn so to me, a perfect barn needs to have that social aspect as well. Barn families are great at shows too! They can help get your ready for your ring, hold your horse, find your helmet, etc. as well as support you and cheer for you as you ride. When I first moved back to NJ and rode with Sue, most of the kids at the barn were just that: KIDS. They were in high school (or middle school) and I obviously didn't mesh well with them. However, one of the biggest things that drew me to B was that most of his clients were at least college-aged, if not around my age. I met some of my best friends through riding with B, and I don't know how I would survive without them! Having a barn family is definitely a HUGE part of being an equestrian :)
ReplyDeleteMy blood family, while HUGELY supportive, is not horsey in the least. No one knows where I got the 'horse gene' from. In contrast, I have met most of my best, lifelong friends through riding. I think sharing a deep passion like we do helps bond people together, and my barn friends are the ones who have been, and are, with me through all the highs and lows of life! Barn friends see you when you're on top of the world and when you hit rock bottom... horses make us so emotionally vulnerable and having strong friendships among other equestrians is so important.
ReplyDeleteMy parents came to all my shows as a kid, but now that I'm a) grown up and b) not showing, they haven't seen me on a horse in the better part of 10 years. Sadly, I don't have a barn family, either. I ride in the evening after you everyone is gone. I'm SO envious of people that have fun barns!
ReplyDeleteNo one else in my family is horsey orientated, but they know enough to lead a horse, stay away from the back-end of a horse, etc. While not particularly "horse-wise" they support me to the ends of the Earth. Any clinics I wanted to go in or any play day I wanted to attend, they'd help make it happen. I was very blessed as a young teen to have the parents I do.
ReplyDeleteI am also wicked jealous of people who had horsey families, or families that were clueless but supportive.
ReplyDeleteMy parents thought horses and riding was stupid and boring. I was told that horses were dirty and smelly, and all we did was go 'round and 'round in a ring. :(
If it was not for my grandparents, I wouldn't have ridden at all.
My mother competed as a showjumper in England before coming to the US and started first an OTTB business, then a warmblood breeding program. While I learned a ton from growing up in this environment, it also comes with a lot of pressure to succeed (not from her, from myself). The need to impress my horsey mother is a deep rooted desire and perhaps more stress for me!
ReplyDeleteMy parents and sister are about as non-horsey of people that you will ever meet - they have no idea what I do with my horse or why I have one! Could be why I got my first horse at age 40 :) Anyway - super supportive husband and youngest daughter! And, I have been blessed with great barns and friendships to last a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteNo! Everyone has an opinion! I mean, we all know how crazy horse people-we- are. Imagine never being able to get away from it!!! Lol. I am mostly joking. is good. But honestly the cray is real...
ReplyDeleteMy parents were/are vaguely horsey. They both had horses before I was born- my mom took H/J lessons and my dad just sort of trail rode around. My mom got me into taking lessons, but both have been very supportive and took me to shows, volunteered with Pony Club, rode with me while I was XC schooling, etc. Neither ride regularly any more (since I moved out of the house), but they always ask me how the horses are going.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I *finally* have a barn family! I love having friends at the barn and doing things like going on trail rides with them, hauling to shows, or just hanging out on the Theraplate with them. It's super fun!
I did a combination, although I am extremely lucky in that my mom is fairly horsey (although doesn't ride), my dad is and has always been supportive and of course my DH is literally the best.
ReplyDeleteEven still, having a great "barn family" is really important to me and a huge factor in where I chose to board.
I go the adoptive route. My barn friends are really great to have even if it is a little dramatic at times ;)
ReplyDeletemy family is also decidedly non-horsey (in fact, only a few fam members have even met my first ever lease horse, even tho it's been 2 years haha)... so it's always been a solo endeavor, bolstered by barn friends :)
ReplyDeleteMy parents were somewhat horsey and tried to help/learn as needed. So I consider myself pretty lucky that way. I am currently a barn family orphan though. From age 15-21 I boarded at a barn that felt like a family, haven't found that place again. You are very lucky to have a wonderful barn family :)
ReplyDeleteAdoptive all the way! My mother was pretty supportive (and still is! She loves to come to every horse show, and shower Pig and I in gifts and goodies!), but she's deathly allergic to horses and cats. That makes the barn a no go for her. We also were somewhat poor growing up, and owning just wasn't an option for us. But, she helped me get lessons as much as I could, and had no problems dropping me off for a day at the barn with my adoptive family.
ReplyDeleteAs an adult, I've found that the best way to feel at home and make new friends is to get into a barn. Buying my own horse was the best social decision I ever made. ;)
I love this topic! Growing up my mom was THE horse show mom! Waking up at 4am, driving the trailer, shining the boots, the whole 9. As an adult now, the rents are a bit less involved but still come see Pong from time to time and hit up my local shows to support us when they can. They don't complain when my entire Christmas list is horse related, haha. My adoptive barn families over the years have been wonderful too. It's always hard to leave/move barns but I've tried to stay in touch and luckily still see my faves from even YEARS back at local shows during the season.
ReplyDeleteAdoptive! Family has always had zero interest, but I have a huge barn family I've met through the years :)
ReplyDeleteMy actual parents do not give a crap about horses, though they support what I want to do. My mother in law rides FEI dressage though, and in the last two years she's been giving me occasional lessons on her horses which are AMAZING. It's so fun to have her around, and I LOVE being able to just text her and get some training ideas for Murray. Not that I couldn't do this with my adopted barn family, but it's so great to get an additional perspective. I'm hoping to trailer Murray out to her house sometime this year for a week of dressage boot camp and lessons.
ReplyDeleteI also adore my adopted barn family of girls I take lessons with, my trainers, and our barn manager and even the kids. We are a super family and together have lots and lots of fun.
Um.... can I have your MIL? I'll trade you mine. She's super nice.
DeleteMy mom grew up riding and showing (and is phenomenal) and is definitely the reason I was able to go so far as a junior. Plus, we got incredibly close spending weekend after weekend on the road together, hauling all over the country.
ReplyDeleteThe flip side was I never truly had a 'barn family', since my horse was at my house and we met my trainer at shows (and often it was just me and maybe an amateur or two showing). I was always super jealous of the kids who had like 6 youth showing and had friends to ride with because I rode alone 99% of the time.
I have adopted horse parents. They even came to my wedding!
ReplyDeleteMy mom was my only horse-y relative. She was all on her own (although with very supportive parents who helped pay for her horse and even built a barn on their property to keep her horse) and learned a lot. By the time I came around, she understood the need for regular lessons, a safe horse, good equipment, etc. I'm eternally grateful for her and my dad's support.
ReplyDeleteMy mom dabbled in hunters when she was younger, and by dabbled I mean showed like 3 times. She also used to race pacers in college, which is rather neat. But ultimately horses were not for her. Dad grew up on a cow farm with one horse named Bully, because he was an asshole and hated people.
ReplyDeleteSo nah, not a horse family at all.
They were insanely supportive of my habit until I went to college and now I'm pretty sure they wish i would give it up already. "unnecessary expenses" and all.
But Dad REALLY loves trail riding.
In some ways it's nice, in a lot of ways for me anyways, it's not. For example, my mom rides Dressage. She has a nice farm and arena she let's me use when I like, but she could care less about my horses and what I do with them. Her comment when I bought Penny? "She has a big bump on her nose and a long head". No congrats, nothing like that. She rarely comes to shows, but wil drive 4 hours to watch her coach show. She has boarders my age and gives them
ReplyDeleteAll her old tack, but never ever gives it to me. Just weird dynamics like that. It can be hurtful to share a passion but have a paent who could care less about your involvement in it. I am very lucky though to have a group of riding friends I am very close with.
My horse family is mostly adoptive, but my grandparents had racehorses in WA (I guess that's why I all of the horses I've owned have been at least half TB!) so my Dad used to help me a lot when I first got started. He was the horse show groom, pony holder extraordinaire and the camera crew. This cartoon is completely accurate in my opinion! http://www.pleasurehorse.com/latest-news/happy-fathers-day-to-all-of-the-horse-show-dads-out-there/
ReplyDeleteI've just recently ventured back into boarding barns after a stint of boarding at small private barns. I boarded on post at Ft. Sam in San Antonio and met a lot of great people there but here in Kansas, I think I might be the only adult amateur in this college town! Not that the college girls aren't great, I just feel like an old lady. :-)
I have horses in my blood. My grandfather on my mother's side raised Paso Finos. All of his children got a horse when they came of age. Of the 4 siblings, only my mom stuck with it. She was given a pregnant mare and she raised the colt herself. He was a palomino with dapples: a stunning horse, and only she could ride him. The story is like something out of a movie. He died at age 7 from a heart condition so severe, the vets were surprised he'd lived as long as he had. They said it was his love for my mother that kept him alive for so long. My mom never owned horses herself again after him.
ReplyDeleteI fell in love with horses at age 10. It was my grandmother, my mom's mother, who tracked down a Paso Fino riding instructor in our hometown and paid for my first lessons. My grandmother who was deathly afraid of horses herself. She was the one that ultimately planted the seed that kept the love of horses alive in our family.
My grandfather gave me my first horse 3 years later. A weanling Paso that I would raise myself and train myself. I was the only owner he ever knew. My grandfather also paid for my riding lessons when I decided I wanted to dabble in the jumpers. My mom took me to my lessons and shows and was present for every single one. I became a part of my first non-blood barn family at this time, when I met the first trainer who ever truly believed in me.
Now living in the continental US away from my relatives, the people who have been there for me through thick and thin are the friends I have met at the various barns I've boarded at throughout the years. I stay in touch with most of them. I wouldn't be where I am now in life if it weren't for all of the horse people who have inspired me and believed in me, whether related to me or not. Barn families are the best! :)
My parents were totally foreign to horses, but now can handle themselves pretty well at the barn/shows etc. That said, they do not love it, but rather encourage me as much as they can. I make my adopted barn family the ones I'm always texting and hanging out with while riding.
ReplyDeleteMy entire family is pretty much horsey, but my mom is really the only one that slipped into English disciplines and then dressage. It was great because access to horses was always available. There were definitely challenging moments when tempers flared too. My mom went from teaching me to me sometimes teaching her and that isn't always the best way to keep fights from breaking out. I'm still thankful to have had a horse family, but I also love my barn families too :)
ReplyDeleteI have a non-horsy blood family that nevertheless is trying very hard to become horsy for my sake. Their support at shows is overwhelming; even though if I ask for my tendon boots they just stare at me, at least somebody cares about whether I'm hydrated and what colour my supposedly white jodhpurs are turning. The only downside is occasionally having to drag well-meaning but not very well-trained parents out from behind insane horses to prevent them getting killed. And doing it respectfully too.
ReplyDeleteMy non-related horse family is a small one, consisting solely of me and my older brother *cough* trainer, partially because I am socially a porcupine. Luckily, so is he, so we band together. Introverts unite in bemoaning the craziness of horse owners.
I have a non-horsey family, and greatly appreciate my barn family. ESPECIALLY when dealing with my emergency room trip and injury, it was such a relief to know my friends were handling everything and looking out for my horse when I couldn't.
ReplyDeleteMy family is mostly non-horsey, although my mom, my dad, and my aunt all rode a little bit. My dad told me it was just a phase and I'd get bored right up until last year, when he finally got that it is not a phase. I've been at the same place for years and years, so the barn owners are stuck with me claiming them as my barn family, and of course a few other horsey friends that can be barn family, too.
ReplyDelete