Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Insights from Outside: The Horse Husband Speaks

My non-horsey (but supportive) husband does not come to the barn. I have told him that he has to come watch me show when I start doing something interesting, but given my recent discipline change, I think that's (still) a long ways off. As it stands, he's seen Courage in person one time, but listens to me talk about him way more than a reasonable man ought to listen to his wife talk about another guy.
his dog demonstrates how interesting it is
Which brings us to his commentary on the horse world, based on what he hears from me:

(The day Courage came home) "What do you mean you got a horse? I thought that was just an idea, not something that was happening."

(Walking in on me watching freestyles): "This music is way too dramatic for what that horse is doing."

(Same as above): "I am having a hard time taking dressage seriously when the song is Dancing Queen."
Trogdor does a dressage impression
(When he saw the sparkle Charles Owen for the first time): "Don't you think that's a little bit much?"

(To Alyssa at my birthday party): "You gave her a belt that didn't have sparkles on it? Don't you know how to use a hot glue gun?"

(You have as much context as I do): "All horse girls are bitches. Except Alyssa. She seems nice."

Who else has non-horsey gems in their lives?

29 comments:

  1. HAHAHA! Good thing Alyssa is around to redeem the the reputation of horse girls everywhere. Too funny!

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  2. I have the opposite problem. Hubby wants a new Custom Saddlery saddle and a fancy medieval bridle for the Brego. Never mind that he already has 3 saddles and 5 bridles. #horsehusbandproblems

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  3. Poor hubby eventually learned that the only way to spend time with me was to buy a horse: enter Pete. He also has to listen to my endless conversations, but I in turn listen to his endless running conversations. Seriously, if you think horse people are annoying just spend time with an ultrarunner.

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    1. Haha! I don't know if I could deal with that. Like. Just keep running. What is there to talk about?

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  4. From my husband, " Horse people are freaks." I think he occasionally lumps me in with the mix. :0)

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  5. ha awesome! i've heard some doozies over time from random individuals as well - like "doesn't riding horses give you bowed legs?" and "my mother told me not to date horse girls" and {spoken from a random non horse person whose family supposedly knows horses} "65% of show horses in america are spanish"

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  6. "Didn't you just pay board?" :/ (I got this one a month after paying last months board bill..)

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    1. But to be fair, this did happen YEARS ago, lol!! Don't get that question anymore! :)

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  7. I have a mostly-non-horsey gem. He used to come to the barn with me and then I banished him because I was insecure and now he prefers not to come unless I beg. (I wanted him there but didn't like him watching me ride bc I thought we were boring (which, duh, we are!))
    Anyway, he DID ask what I wanted for Christmas and when I told him nothing, he raised his eyebrows and said, "Not even breeches?" - cue record screech - Uh, wait a minute. OF COURSE I'LL TAKE MORE BREECHES. So there's that.

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  8. Also, he does think horsepeople are crazy.

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  9. Mine doesn't get it. He will show up at a horse show randomly to check the box - he also started to like them better when I told him drinking was allowed, even encouraged. Otherwise, he thinks it's a big fat waste of money. Womp.

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  10. Haha, my husband is a polo player and recently told me I need to ride my 17hh jumper more like a polo pony in the jump offs.... His helpful commentary usually includes "go faster"

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  11. My husband is not into horses. He couldn't care less. Some days he listens politely and other days just asks me to stop already. Sometimes he just shuts down at the word "horse"...

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  12. Hubby would definitely rally behind "All horse girls are bitches." He'd probably even include me in that! ;)

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  13. I like the outside observations. Keeps us honest(ish);) I love the random Horse Husband insights. Mine most recently questioned my sanity when we spent time and money buzzing all the horse hair off, only to spend money on a blanket to keep the naked horse warm. (shrug).

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    1. I've heard that one before. Both sides starring at each other in a WTF? moment. Priceless!

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  14. Ah, he says the funnest things. He really should be a commentator at our show. Or for one of our videos!

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  15. Johnny has definitely said "All horse girls are bitches" before. His observation is "All horse people do when they're together is talk shit about the horse people who aren't there" which is like 100% true

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  16. The SO here is super supportive - doesn't always go to my horse shows, but when he does he holds my spurs, the horse, etc. And he even revamped my horse trailer for me... ya I think I'll keep him!

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  17. My husband doesn't even know which horses are which in my backyard (I have four), but he is always supportive of my riding time, even if that means he has to put the kidlets to bed or whatever. I am not sure if it is just out of love or if he has learned I am less crazy if I have my riding time...

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  18. My husband remains very confused about how upset I get if I have a bad lesson or one of my horses is hurt. Other than that he tries to be supportive haha!

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  19. I made my non-horsey gem watch a video of me and Murray's very first time XC schooling where I bravely navigated my 4-year-old over logs of varying heights and textures all below 2'. And through some water. He was not very impressed. A few years later when I dragged him to a mini-prix he tipsily said "Remember when you showed me that video of you and Murray jumping the first time? I thought the jumps would be this size." I was like WHAT. "You've been riding for so many years now I figured you were jumping really big things.

    Um thanks I guess, boy?

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  20. Mine has always been a really good judge of people. I was warned by him beforehand about every single BO/BM that turned out to be crazy. He's kind of prophetic that way.

    After I'd been hanging out with my best barn buddy for a couple of years, he finally told her, "I'm bent on finding out what is wrong with you because all horse people are crazy and you're way too normal." Diana continues to be one of the most normal horse people I know. We still laugh about Charles's comment!

    That said, he did encourage the second horse and did learn to ride, and then when I talked about selling Lily he was the first to talk me out of the notion because then we wouldn't be able to ride together. Also, he will now admit that he misses Gracie if I put him on any other horse, and has opinions on what bridle, bit and saddle he prefers to use on "his" horse.

    He will also tell you that he taught me to ride (HA!) and that all of Gracie's awesome training is thanks to him. As everyone in Blogland that reads by blog knows, that's not *quite* the truth...hahaha...

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  21. My DH is just getting to enter the horsey world for the first time. I've already been informed that since the second horse is a baby, "we can learn together."

    Of course, he's also been trying very hard to design armor for the baby. I got the giggles when he decided he had it all planned out so the little one could grow into it... and then ten minutes later turned to me and went, "Wait. They get wider, don't they?"

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