IT DOES WHAT IT WANTS

Alyssa says I have a problem. She says I have to write a blog about why tack buying is a problem for me and how I need to stop. She says acknowledging I have a problem is the first step.

But then what happened?

SHE LEFT TOWN.

Bad move.

See, there was a local tack trailer having a sale and when someone observed that Lindsey and I would run wild without Alyssa's oversight, I thoroughly debunked them by pointing this out:

Because 1) you always need someone to run hog wild with and 2) Lindsey usually takes a little encouragement.

But we calculated our actual discount at the sale vs our actual needs and decided it would be way more fun to play ponies and eat fancy lunch instead.

We are models of moderation if I do say so myself. Alyssa was supposed to be home before any more potentially damaging sales occurred and I'm buried at work, so I'm not shopping much. Win win, right?

Of course, I'm squinting through morning haze at my tiny phone screen and get this message:

I mean, all she did was send a blog link along, right? So I read the blog. New to me, but the blogger's like "pretty, not the greatest quality, pretty, HERE HAVE A 50% OFF CODE".

You have my full attention.

I've seen the site in question before, but let's be real: it's an India-based knock off site with very likely the attendant quality levels. The prices weren't terrible, but meh. I have enough shit. I don't need shitty shit too.

But that whole discussion changes when already-marked-down bridles (and other things) can be discounted 50% oh AND there was free shipping over $38. From India. And the other blogger said she ordered and got her stuff in a week.

Um so you're saying I can get that Dy'on knockoff I've been wanting since forever for $44 dollars shipped? WHERE DO I SIGN UP

i just want it ok 

I compiled a glorious order and was like LINDSEY BUY ALL THE SHIT TOO and then she was like "what would alyssa do" because sometimes she has these weird self-loathing puritanical moments that totally don't suit her at all*. (Come to think of it, I should probably make some stupid plastic bracelets that say WWAD if I ever decide to go to recovery.)

So we decided to buy the one bridle I wanted using the 50% off and free shipping, and then if we liked it, then BUY ALL THE THINGS. #adulting

It was a great plan right up until we realized the code had a minimum threshold of $200.

So then Lindsey was like WHAT THE HELL BUY IT ALL NOW and threw her bridle in on the order too. BAM. Threshold met.

After all, with stuff like this in the bridle descriptions, we can't possibly go wrong:

"The knot point where the nose band crosses over the nose in figure eight specimen is highlighted with designer star or flower like leather art which is optimally cushioned to avoid any kind of itching to the animal. Appearance of the knot becomes indigenous and traditional with such a structure."

(I prefer my knots indigenous too. That's not racist, right?)

"comfortable padded buckle guard under the Jaw is provided to avoid any kind of pinching and itching to the animal and enhances the comfort level."

(This product prevents itching. By Magic.)

"Each stitch is precisely sewn and counts up to 10 to 12 stitches per inch"

(Average is the new precise.)

"Soft yet Strong PP inserted 16 mm Rubber grip reins with Martingale stoppers will not move out from the comfort grip of user hands."

(Bitch please. I can drop anything. ANYTHING.)

"Besides, it appears very eye catchy and adorable."

(In fairness, my whole reason for buying was "eye catchy and adorable", so they sold me right there.)

And who can forget the awesome pop up sale:

"HURRAH! WE HAVE AN UNAVOIDABLE OFFER FOR YOU. Use COUPON CODE : BRIDLE10 to avail 10% DISCOUNT on your purchase or agree to pay full amount."

(yes that is how english works)

Lindsey also pointed out (after we sent the money) that they actually have the best and most comprehensive bridle size chart I've ever seen. Dear bridle manufacturers: you all need to make this and have it easily searchable on the internet. ALL OF YOU.

The checkout was through paypal, so fingers crossed all is well. I'll keep you posted.

*Come to think of it, I think "weird puritanical self-loathing" might actually be translated as "budgeting". Food for thought.