It always mystifies me when people say they buy green horses because they enjoy riding them so much.
Seriously?
I have done a lot of time on the greenies and let me tell you, any time I get the chance to sit on something broke, I get REALLY excited. Broke is fun. Training is good. I love buttons and not dying and steering and all those wonderful things.
Courage is finally sort of passing out of the "green" phase and starting to feel like a broke horse like... eh... 75% of the time? I define that as "he might not really want to behave, but I can generally talk him into it".
Honestly, I find that incredibly exciting.
He's more or less a first level horse right now. On his good days, he actually feels quite solid. Whether we move to second next year (unlikely) or stay at first and try to suck less at shows (seems like a good idea), it's time to start changing his way of going--he needs to learn to sit more, push off his hind end, and lift his withers. What's more, his default "bad" at shows is to shorten his topline and make his stride 2" long, so anything I can do to reverse that muscle memory is good.
It's not rocket science. It's simple weight lifting, as Denny Emerson is fond of reminding us. Here's a visual:
This is Courage when he first moved to our current dressage-focused barn. You can see he's a decent mover going nicely forward in this picture, but he's not lifting his withers or pushing from behind at all. He's just plowing forward on the forehand with his neck down and his nose poked out.
After a lot of time and development, here's Courage early this spring. You can see his whole frame has bulked up (it's all muscle, trust me). He's almost thinking about curling his neck in this picture, but you can see the muscle development in his neck, bum, and abs. He's going in a more level balance and he's not free falling forward.
This shot is from a week or so ago. You can see Courage has lowered his haunches to allow his body to lift. He's developed a moment of suspension in the trot and he's actually using his back and neck.
All that goes to say--the less green Courage becomes, the more fun I'm having. Most of my rides are now about developing finesse and strength and correctness. I LOVE those feelings. I do not at all miss last year's "summer of survival".
nope
Our last few rides have been spent on giant figure eights in the arena. We walk until we have a respectable, swinging free walk, then maintain the stretch and swing, roll into the trot and work to develop the biggest, loosest, stretchiest swinging trot he's possibly capable of. It's sort of compatible with the stretch trot circle, but I'm not doing it for that.
I want Courage to be able to use that pretty topline he's building. I want to step up our quality of work. I want to start thinking just a little bit about second level. All of those things take a lot of strength. For him to be strong enough to begin collection, he needs to muscles we're building that let him push across the ground. He needs the strong, supple topline that comes from thoughtful repetition of simple exercises.
I dunno when second level is in our future, but I know that every day, I'm creating a softer, stronger, more educated and more rideable horse.
And by "that", I mean a big overnight temp drop from 101f the day before to 66f at my ride time.
So that wasn't super awesome.
What was awesome was that Courage loaded up and went to the show, unloaded, was sort of ok, and ended up being w/t rideable in the warm up. It wasn't great, but it was ok. (Also there was a crop duster plane flying overhead, so that's cool too.)
and i like this picture
What was less awesome was how Courage was like NOPE CHUCK TESTA in the arena. That first lengthen diagonal in first two? Yeah bolted it again. Last time we did that, I blamed myself for pushing for more power. This time, I was literally like "we will just trot around this corner and ignore the lengthen part", and C was like... well, like this:
but we stayed on our line of direction, so that's cool
The canter was semi-rideable, which was great. It was maybe the first time we picked up the right lead at a show without me just chanting "please don't bolt" over and over. There were moments in the trot that didn't completely suck. But most of them did (completely suck). It's really quite horrible. You can watch first two here if you're mega bored. Or just want to be catty. Whatever.
I didn't feel like I was being tense and making him worse, but I'm not ruling it out. I mean, I remembered my tests. Well, there was one trot transition I did at C instead of M and got a 3 for, but in general I was thinking and managing the horse under me. Lindsey doesn't think I was breathing, which I suppose is possible.
also apparently i desperately needed to shorten my reins
Courage was just SO.TENSE. in the arena, complete with a 180 degree pre-test spook at nothing (?) and just being so tight through his back. So tight. Losing rhythm. Up periscope. I tried looping the reins to give him somewhere to go, but that just got us worse charging-forward-out-of-balance and starting-to-panic, so.
stride two inches long
The judge nailed me to the wall for not riding forward, which was fair, because I didn't. (In fairness to me, that's because Courage couldn't handle it, but she didn't know that and can't/shouldn't accommodate it.) She loved Courage and said he had a lot of potential. (Which I think is true and is why I'm busting my ass for this damn sport anyways.) She gave us two 58s, which was fair given our (lack of) performance. Just once, I'd like to get a "tactful ride" comment or something instead of straight up "ride your nice horse more forward you useless lump of shit" because well. Sigh.
but we got satin so yay satin!
I don't know where I'm going with this. It wasn't a great show. It wasn't even a good show. I got off and was like "lulz so glad not trying to show recognized", then got home and had an email from the recognized show next weekend that they'd found my unsubmitted online entry that I bailed on because $$$ and they were like "hey thanks for the entry you'll get ride times ASAP".
And then I had some margaritas and decided it was a sign and what the hell.
Because let's face it.
Either I'm locking up and riding like shit and screwing up my horse
or
He's locking up and going like shit at shows because he doesn't get out enough
or
I don't know, I'm cursed and will always suck at shows.
like the only moment that didn't suck
And the only way to settle that is to go do a couple opportunity classes and see what happens.
So yesterday I mentioned that I botched the warm up (badly) and screwed my horse over, which resulted in alternately explosive/conservative rides.
on alert
I was determined not to do that twice.
My first ride Sunday was at 12.24, so I announced that I would be in the saddle at 11.24. I pulled him out at 11 even and hand walked around the grounds (all of which we'd seen/freaked out about yesterday), lunged him (lightly) in the halter to get him listening and focused on me, and climbed on at about 11.15. Better a little early, right? I can always walk a few more minutes.
Or like.
No.
I cannot.
Sigh.
I realized I'd forgotten my number (this is a boo boo, but not a big one). I thought I'd just hack my horse over to the trailer that he's walked back and forth from several times now. I like to focus on positives, so I'm going to say that I bailed before the shit really hit the fan. Also I thought to snag a lunge line at the trailer and try that over again.
Earlier this spring, I lunged Courage a lot while we figured some stuff out. We've since pretty much dropped it and generally just don't. Unless it's at a show.
Then we spent an hour running and dolphin leaping and screaming our damn fool heads off, because I don't know, that's so metal. Alyssa showed up sometime around here. She can verify that it is the single worst Courage appearance at a show ever. (Noted: possibly not the worst if you include XC schoolings, but I don't).
I figured we would scratch our classes and I would make smart choices so as to minimize my chance of death. I kept thinking eventually he'd give it up, but pretty much as soon as he did, another horse would call and he'd lose it all over again. Leaping bucks into the canter while completely distracted? Yeah I'll pass.
I don't really know how long that went on. Long enough that people were like "damn girl, long round pen session", but thankfully no one else needed the lunging area I guess. I eventually got on and C was still mostly a basket case. We walk/trotted around and it TENSE but it was at least less explosive. Sort of. Then they told me I was two rides out and what the hell. Might as well use the classes I paid for.
yay schooling show
I kinda planned on just making C get his stupid bay ass into the show ring and down centerline and then retiring after the salute. My trainer (bless her) kindly led us past the horse-eating judges booth and down the scary long side. The judge whistled us to start, and well, it seemed easier to try and do a pattern to get him to focus than try to leave the arena without our trainer leading us.
It was bad. The judge knocked us hard for TENSION and LACK OF SUPPLENESS and I forget. Not being forward? But hey! If we went forward, we were leaving (tried that already), so we just tried to make two calm-ish positive-ish experiences out of what was otherwise a trainwreck.
somehow Alyssa made a good picture out of it
I guess it sort of worked--I stayed on, we stayed in the arena, and I did ride the prescribed pattern. Sort of. We didn't actually do any lengthenings until the last trot diagonal in first two and even that was more like "allowing working trot" than a lengthening per se. Also the judge was not impressed with our impersonation of a giraffe doing free walk, but we kept all four hooves on the ground.
She was critical of everything, which stings because I know it was deserved. More so because there was nothing I could do about it. I made the best of a bad situation and it can never be our first level debut again.
once was enough
I liked that I kept breathing and kept riding and kept making choices to help C keep his brain in his head. I liked that once I was able to get on, his brain never fully left his head. I liked that he got on the trailer to leave.
I liked that we didn't bolt. This is actually big--the horse I had last year would have used any of these components as an excuse, given me a big ol' middle finger, and exited stage left. HARD. We didn't do that this year. Even when he declined to lengthen his trot, it was rideable.
Our scores were as expected--57 and 59. We actually got no 4s and one 7, so I guess that's nice too.
twice. she led us in twice.
I don't really know how to wrap this up. The show sucked, I drank a lot Sunday night, I'm sorely disappointed, and we're definitely not showing recognized any time in the near future.
The good news is I didn't get launched off my horse and have a shattered wrist and compound fracture in my leg. Nothing like a little perspective, eh?
Because Courage is eh, let's say "pressure adverse", we spent all of last fall/winter/spring until last week just going as slowly and methodically as possible through the babiest basics of training level.
Like.
We spent six weeks WALKING this winter. Free walk, medium walk. Rinse. Repeat. FOR SIX WEEKS. And yes, I ride like 5-6 days a week. In case you're keeping track, that is a SHIT TON of walking. Oh and. We went like 2-3 MONTHS without cantering. Because someone couldn't deal. So we didn't deal. We walked and walked and walked and when we FINALLY could, we started trotting.
January
Whee! Trotting is so exciting.
Too exciting, it would seem. Courage is completely re-learning how to use his body. That's a good thing, but it's also an explosive thing. And it causes pressure. And remember, he is "pressure adverse".
Sooooooo even when we adding trotting back in, we kept the trotting slow. We rode under the rhythm for weeks. MONTHS. So slow. Lots and lots and lots of bending. Transitions. We never rode a straight line. Circles. Bending. Downward transition. Bending. MOAR BENDING. COUNTER BENDING. ALL THE BENDING.
he learned his body can do this
All very, very slow.
Most of this was in the indoor, which was good because it's tiny and makes the under-the-rhythm thing feel less pained than it really is. But then we moved to the outdoor and I tried to do bending AND forward.
That was a flail.
MOAR SLOWER.
Truly, this is what makes Courage so hard to ride. He's obviously capable. I'm not stupid--I can watch our videos and say "wow, he's not really using his back or going forward and once he's forward a lot of the connection problems will take care of themselves", but the ability to recognize that isn't the hard part.
The hard part is explaining it to Courage at a speed he's comfortable with.
Which is slower. MOAR SLOWER. YOU SLOW DOWN. NOW GO SLOWER.
I was really excited when we finally got to work on lengthen trot in a lesson. I was less excited when it was pointed out to me that the lengthening we got was basically just the working trot I need. For like. Training level. Which is not the level we are trying to get to.
Headdesk. Go us.
But instead of curling up in a ball and deciding to give up on this whole dressage thing (while keeping the precious, of course), I've been asking for just a little bit more. After all, we've done MONTHS of basics, right? Maybe Courage is ready for just a leeeeeeeeettle push?
Redheadlins came out this past Saturday and took some video for us. It's mega boring (look! SB is trotting in a circle!), so you can watch it here and here if you want, or just look at the screen shots below, which is what I would do.
tracking!
hock action!
What I liked was that I finally rode Courage forward and he dealt with it.
What I disliked was that I threw any sort of "roundness" or "connection" out the window. I mean, it was the expedient choice at the time. I know that if I throw too many new things in Courage's face at one time, he won't deal with it.
But is it so bad to want to look at a picture of us and be like "yeah that chick looks like she doesn't always suck" instead of just apologizing for all the things I know I'm doing wrong but can't fix right now?
Jury is out on that one.
Then Redheadlins came out again Sunday. I had watched our videos and I decided that if I had to let go of the forward thing, I would, but I need to step back a little and really just focus on getting a little roundness. (DQ alert: yes, I know you can't be "round" without being "forward", but until C learns the training scale, I will keep doing "a little bit of this/a little bit of that" and finessing and trying not to die.)
So anyways. Project Keep CRage From Sticking His Nose Out Like a Pony happened Sunday. He was tired. I was tired. We started slow. We discussed my aids and how he would respond to them.
BAM. (Yeah I know--I finally have a normal trotting picture BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK TO GET HERE.)
I was so pleased. Courage not only acquiesced to trotting like a grow-up horse, but also when I asked for a lengthening, it happened.
four off the floor
It's not automatic and there's always room to improve. I'm not apologizing. This was a damn good ride for us and I am so proud of how far C-Rage had to come to have this ride.
If you watch our (also mega boring) videos (here and here), you will see that we spent a large percentage of the ride working in the canter. And that the canter is kinda yuck. I am also not apologizing for that.
I mean. We spent literal months not cantering this winter and finally now in mid-ish April, Courage is in a place where we can start working on the canter without him trying to leave. It took us that long to get here. Now we can get started. That's good enough for me.
We can skate by in training level sorta. I don't know if I can get his canter to a place that it makes sense to show in first level by next month. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe we're doing another year at training level while I get this sorted out.
But maybe the road to first level is finally starting to look like something we can accomplish.
It has been a bit of a rocky road. I mean, I got him the end of July in 2013. He went to a show and did ground poles that fall, but that was it.
Then 2014, we did one show. And it was... ummmmm yeah I'll go with horrible. And then we didn't even bother to try again.
2015 saw a lot of show miles and our oh-so-memorable championship of ground poles.
I'll be real with you: there are parts of me that are not proud of winning the ground poles. We all know Courage can jump like this:
swoon-worthy
And dressage like this:
yup
And it's so, so easy to get down on myself for only having Courage as far along as I do. I always blame myself. I feel like if he just had a better rider, he'd be running Novice eventing by now or show jumping respectably or really, anything other than almost-first-level dressage and sketchy-ass ground poles.
It's not that I think he wants or needs to be farther along--obviously, he's a horse and he doesn't even know that "farther along" exists, much less that it's something he should want. It's that as a high-achieving adult ammy horse person, I feel inadequate. I feel like we scrape by doing the bare minimum and that most of our hold ups are my confidence issues and not him at all.
And yeah, that's hard. Those things are real. The amount of courage (ha!) that it took for me to get around an XC course, even at poles on the ground, was staggering. I can talk all day about the tactful ride that Courage requires, but the truth is, I don't want to kick him in the belly either because I don't want to get hurt. Not now. Not on this horse.
this still doesn't look fun
But then Alyssa ran across some old videos the other day and sent them to me. After our one really horrible show in 2014, I sent Courage to an xc schooling with Lindsey in the tack. I thought I was the problem. I thought I was screwing up my horse, and I knew Lindsey didn't have the emotional baggage with him that I did.
I've told the story a hundred times--Courage was so naughty that the trainer (pro who's gone advanced on multiple horses) had Lindsey get off and he got on. And then 15 minutes of the "group lesson" was the pro getting Courage to go through ground poles. And even after that, we ended up just getting off and lunging Courage because he Could.Not. that day and that was it.
But no matter how many times I've told the story, nothing quite compared with seeing the thing again. Here's part one:
Part Two, Three, and Four if you're deeply interested.
It was so therapeutic to watch those videos for me. I'd forgotten what it looked like. I mean, if you go through the videos, you can watch the trainer try several different approaches. He gets after C for leaping and pissing off, but that makes it worse. Then he tries pushing him forward when he runs off, and that makes it worse. He tries changing the topic with lots of little circles, and that sort of helps but sort of results in C trying to shut down.
And he ends by walking through the poles because that is all Courage could handle at that time.
It wasn't a rider problem. It wasn't a training problem.
It's just that Courage needs things explained to him at his speed. If you try to force things any other way, it gets ugly. You can watch him pop the trainer out of the tack, time after time. Courage isn't bucking or rearing (really) or doing anything "horrible", but he's putting the rider wherever he wants him because he CANNOT take the pressure.
not how ground poles are supposed to be negotiated
It wasn't pretty. Looking back, I feel kinda bad for the guy riding. Sorry dude. Not your fault. At the time, I thought Courage would just get over it. I thought if we kept trying, if we did SOMETHING, that it would get better.
I felt the pressure of all those magical "3 months from track to BN" success stories. I wanted Courage to be brilliant and high achieving. I wanted everyone to see how special he was, the same way I did.
So yeah. In 2015, my horse and I were the champions of ground poles. In 2014, even a pro couldn't get him through ground poles without completely losing his shit. Maybe ground poles don't matter to you and you're going to make mean, snitty comments to me about how I'm less of a rider (I will delete those comments and leave my snide replies. You have been warned.)
best ribbon
But maybe I don't care. Maybe I'm enjoying my horse at my speed and maybe the fact that he NAILED his leg yields last week was good enough for me.
Scratch that. Not maybe. It is.
Courage and I have made incredible progress together. Our first dressage test together looked like this:
I don't have recent video of a test, but last time I got riding video, it looked more like this:
Just because our progress doesn't look like your progress or a professional's progress or whatever, it's enough for me. Courage and I aren't going advanced or grand prix and we don't want to. I want him to be a fun horse for me to ride and chase my goals on, whether those goals are a bronze medal, a fun jump course, or going to a goofy trail competition (or all of those).
So yeah. My horse is sensitive, complicated, and (barely) proficient at ground poles. He's also a boatload of fun, a challenge every day, and damn good looking in all the outfits I put on him.
so attractive
2016 will be our third/fourth year showing together and I have absolutely no idea how it's going to go. We probably won't be the champions of anything. We probably won't blow anyone's mind. I'm hoping we make a respectable showing at first level. I'm doubtful that we can also make a run at the crossrails derbies.
But whatever happens, this is the face I see every day and that makes it all worthwhile.
I have goals this year, which is great and all. I've been working towards them since mid-last eyen, which is hopeful. In an attempt to only learn three dressage tests this year (instead of 6!!) and simplify the pre-show ritual, I printed out my first level tests the other day.
Gettin' crazy up in here
Training level is pretty basic, right? You walk, trot, and canter, plus free walk, stretchy trot, and direction changes in the trot. Basically it's like a couple circles and arena laps and off you go.
So first level. How hard can it be?
I read the scary box labeled "PURPOSE" first.
"To confirm that the horse demonstrates correct basics, and in addition to the requirements of training level, has developed the thrust to achieve improved balance and throughness and maintains a more consistent contact with the bit."
Hm, ok. Correct basics now with more forward. Not sure about this throughness thing, but Dressage Queens talk about it, so maybe we'll figure it out as we go along. And hey! Our contact is roughly 19.5x better now than it was last year.
From this:
training level
To this:
schooling first
I dig that. I think we're going to be ok. Right? We knew it was getting harder here. That's the point of moving up.
But then each test introduces new movements. Conveniently, there is another text box at the top of the test that tells you what to expect to be added to the previous set of movements it's assumed you can do.
you know what they say about assumptions
So USEF First Level Test 1:
10m half circles at trot
15m circle in canter
lengthening of stride in trot and canter
A couple deep breaths, right? Half circles are something we've worked on. I know we can do the 15m circle. The lengthenings aren't there, but Courage is getting stronger and more broke and we're going to need those canters to jump anyways, yeah? We can probably do this.
Then USEF First Level Test 2:
Leg Yield
I've been leg yielding horses since I was a kid. This seems pretty innocuous. OR WELL. IT DID, but then I was watching Marissa's youtube channel because I needed to see the tests (bear in mind, I haven't actually READ them yet) and I realized that the harmless lil' "leg yield" is actually LEG YIELD FROM THE WALL TO X AND THEN ALL THE WAY BACK ON ONE LONG SIDE LIKE SOME SORT OF LATERAL BEASTMODE CRAZY PERSON.
F***
I don't really have the capacity to react more than that. Pretty freaking intense if you ask me. I was hoping that move was reserved for like "people who are actually good at this" and not just "people who are starting out but a little bit terrified right now".
So there's that. But maybe we can still figure this out, right? I mean. A year+ of prep, right? It's only first level, right? I want this, right?
back when we could ride outside
Buuuuut that brings us to USEF First Level Test 3:
10m circle at trot
Change of lead through the trot
Counter Canter
COUNTER CANTER WUT
Uh yeah so for some reason I was laboring under the misconception that Counter Canter was like a 2nd level move? No. Apparently first level. And 10m is not very many meters on a 16+ hand Thoroughbred OH AND if you go watch Marissa do the 1-3 test, her change of lead through the trot is like one stride and perfect. ONE STRIDE.
I'm over here like "on our good days, he doesn't try to kill me when we canter" and OMG BRAIN OVERLOAD.
just because i like this picture
Ahhhhhhhhh this is a lot harder than I was expecting. When I first read this, I pretty much had a complete brain melt. Then I went and rode my horse and even with the winter crazies, we could do 10m trot circles and my canter transitions have VASTLY improved.
So maybe there's hope?
PS Many thanks to Marissa for letting me watch her videos to get a feel for the level. She and Tucker are BOSSES and our role models.
