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| Someone is growing a topline |
I'm busily trying to think of anything and everything except this weekend. We're scheduled to go out of town, ride in a clinic two days (SJ and XC) and then compete in a derby with dressage and xc on Sunday. We're riding in a BN group, which means he and I can totally sneeze at the show jumping, at least theoretically. Part of me really wanted to stay with the intro group (2'3") just because I knew the cross country would be easier, but I also knew we'd be bored stiff in the show jumping and I have high hopes of coming out even better than last time for XC.
It all sounded like a great idea when I discussed it with the organizer yesterday. I'm feeling less firmly committed today. I guess I sort of feel like this is a make or break point for us--we've had two good experiences to build on. We're going to have more jumping going in to the show, so I should be mentally prepped. I know it's way to much pressure to put on myself and it really won't help, but at some point, we can either do this or we can't. It's either fun or it isn't. Either way is fine with me, but I don't want to be afraid to ride anymore.
I have made huge, leaping strides of progress in that area as far as anything not related to cross country goes. I'm hoping that rebuilding my confidence in this area will be less emotionally intense and gut wrenchingly difficult than the rest of the internal/brain work I've had to do this year.
Thoughts? Tips? Who else is overcoming fear or has done so successfully? Tell me it's flowers and rainbows.
Or the truth, I guess.
Hmmm...no great words of wisdom that you haven't already told yourself. Honestly, I'm not over my issues yet and find myself feeling ill upon occasion in the middle of a course be it SJ or XC. Not really sure why but what helps me most is to try and run down my mental checklist and not let the emotion overwhelm me. I think the Daniel Stewart quote is the best "Plan your ride and ride your plan" - when you start to freeze, try thinking about the course and your plan. Ride every stride with whatever your mantra may be. Mine is "Keep Charlie's head up, keep my body back and leg on to support". I'm guessing yours would be something along the lines of "Hands down, leg on" but whatever you decide, try to use that to overcome the fear. I hate to say it (because I am so not this person) but logic seems to help me the most. You know what to do, you just need to remind yourself. :)
ReplyDeleteYou guys are going to be great! And when you start to doubt, look at your picture of you standing next to the big ass oxer you jumped...
My recommendation is to think of the XC jumps as stadium jumps and look at the top and say to yourself "it's just a top rail, it's just a top rail." That is what I do with jumps that wig me out. I chant it until my brain gives in. NO buts. You jumped a freaking 3'1" oxer, you can cruise without even trying through lil' ol' BN!
ReplyDeleteI would move down for this one show and make SURE you are bored and xc goes easily and smoothly. That way you won't have any extra added pressure of "OMG we're at a show everyone is watching..." Yeah, stadium will bore you but again, stadium falls down. Don't let your nerves get you out where you're not totally committed and the jumps DON'T fall down. Yes, they're small but they're still solid objects. Don't want to be the pessimist or anything but, I would just make sure you are bored in a show setting with xc at that lower more comfortable level. There's more shows coming up :) Go have fun! Don't be out there fearing for your life!
ReplyDeleteStacey--we are actually showing at intro for that exact reason. It's definitely better to be bored, though we are entered for a BN jump only round just in case I feel all brave and bored.
DeleteIt's just the second day of the clinic that I am studiously not thinking about while constantly obsessing over.
Oh, ignore me, I guess I can't read correctly today :(
ReplyDeleteActually, I don't think I mentioned that part of it. ;) Thanks for pointing out my lack of articulation in that completely scattered post.
Delete"but at some point, we can either do this or we can't"
ReplyDeleteI hope "at some point" doesn't have to be this weekend. Overcoming fear simply takes time. It may get resolved this weekend, or in 5 events from now. Life is ironic in that as soon as you surrender to the idea that it will all work out in time, that time becomes now.
I think that this week you should re-read some of your own posts about your recent rides - perfect examples of how you encountered a sticky situation and then were able to get a handle on it and move on. Examples of you being a great rider. Meditate on your good rides - they'll empower you for the show. =]
It's all flowers and rainbows and butterflies. Pink unicorns sparkle as you follow them over not scary at all xcountry fences. Happy little Keebler elves feed you cookies after each jump and you won't even notice you're schooling Prelim by the time you're done.
ReplyDeleteConfidence boosted? I should think so.
OMG. I die.
DeleteNah, no way to overcome fear except with practice until the thing you fear becomes routine.
ReplyDeleteI had a fall over a fairly large timber fence years and years ago. I lost my nerve. Bless my trainer. She took me back to crossrails, assessed just what I was doing wrong with my leg and seat to "allow the fall" and took a long lesson hour to train me from scratch again as to how to properly ride over a fence. Once I knew what I'd done wrong and how to correct it, I recovered rather quickly. And from then on it was just "practice, practice, practice."
Go and enjoy yourself whatever you decide. There is no rush to get anywhere and if you stay at intro for the next two years who cares. Make it fun! I feel like you push and push yourself to be at a certain level and really you just need to learn how to enjoy this sport that you are obviously drawn to and in time you will progress naturally. IMO it shouldn't be a struggle it should just be a natural progression with small steps forward and even some backward. You are doing this for no one but you and your horse and if you are confident he will be confident in you. I guess all that to say, do what you are confident at and in turn Cuna will learn that he can trust you. Then you will know you can trust him. It will come but you need to let all the pressure go.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about shows/events... im right there with you girl!
ReplyDeleteI haven't found the cure yet haha! :)
Flowers and Rainbows! Cuna can handle anything!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll do great!! Confidence is such a huge thing for a lot of riders. Try not to think about it too much when your actually doing it. Just ride, as you do more your confidence will grow, but it's going to take time. Fun outings like the one your going will help heaps. Having fun helps so much.
ReplyDeleteTotally unrelated to the actual post (but good luck, whatever you decide!), but why are some bloggers blacking out chunks of text lately? I thought maybe it was to make people click through to the site instead of reading in a reader (though highlighting the text with one's cursor also solves it sans click), but you've changed your text colour to white, which suggests it's not for that purpose ... I'm confused!
ReplyDeleteKelly-blogger has some sort of bug that blocks out big portions of text. Even if I set my text exactly right in the blog post editing, it comes out in white with white highlights. The only way I can fix it is with black highlighting. I hope they get this worked out soon-it's unsightly and annoying.
DeleteI'm glad there's a reason for this, it makes it completely unreadable in Google Reader on my phone and I thought it was just my phone rendering things incorrectly. Good to know.
DeleteI heard a quote recently from Karen O'Connor when asked if that nauseous feeling in the start box ever goes away, she replied, "if it ever does, I should stop doing this." I truly feel like overcoming fear involves having someone safely push you to the brink, but carry you over. It sounds like you have that kind of relationship with your trainer. You know Cuna will take good care of you, good luck!
ReplyDeleteBecause my horse is awesome and takes care of me like Cuna does you, I trust him when we approach scary jumps. And my scary jumps are 22" oxers. :D And every time, esp when I mess up, my boy does take care of me. And I'm so happy to have him and like you, made the switch to a better match from a prior mount. BTW, I think Cuna looks SUPER FAB in navy.
ReplyDeleteI have commented about my own experience with overcoming jump fear before, so I won't rehash it, but for me it was all about the right horse and the right instructor and I think you've got both there. Like Amy said, do what you want to do but keep pushing yourself, and don't get in a hurry or feel like you have to be somewhere by a certain date. I lose sight of this sometimes myself, but it's all about the learning/training journey and not the end result.
ReplyDeleteI have no experience with jumping, so can't really comment (besides you have a bunch of great ones already), but wanted to so good luck and we know you can do it, even if you're brain doesn't believe it sometimes. :D
ReplyDelete