Tuesday, September 27, 2016

The Nightmare Before Halloween (?)

If you follow me on social media (aka are not a cave troll EMMA), you probably saw this beautiful, beautiful picture last week. 
all the pretties
I've never had much in grey before, but I was clicking around the Riding Warehouse site (danger Will Robinson) and I found that the Noble Outfitters cowl neck shirt I've wanted forever. I try not to buy black shirts because I normally buy blue (or blue) everything, so I got it in grey. But that was only $27! And free shipping at $50! 

So then I looked at Roeckl gloves and they had black, dark brown, light tan, and grey. I didn't want the first two colors because my biggest problem with gloves is losing them and I have nothing tan but omg there's a grey shirt in my cart! 

And of course, now that I had two grey things, there were visions of this perfect dressage queen outfit dancing in my head. All I need was grey polos. I already have a black pad with grey trim! And black bridles! And omg my iridescent stirrups would be the perfect color pop. Found some grey polos, chucked them in the cart, got a $10 off coupon, and waited 48 hours for my prizes to show up. 

When they did, I noticed that the polos were labelled "grey ombre", which seemed cool. Ombre is super in right now I think (isn't it?). In my head, they were going to be gorgeous--a subtle fade from black to grey up the leg. Omg. Can you even? I cannot. 

Cough.

And I promptly skipped out to the barn to put them on. Which was when I found out that for no very good reason, the "ombre" was simply a 12" pattern of black to greyish... and when you wrap it...
nooooooooo
You get a freaking Tim Burton zebra, not an understated-but-edgy, deeply sophisticated interpretation of traditional dressage style.

Yeah I'll say it again. Tim. Burton. Zebra. 

It was horrifying. It was also dusk, so I thought maybe if I threw him on the lunge and took pictures, the god-awful stripes would sort of blend into a uniform steel grey or something. 

I took a gorgeous silhouetted shot of Courage cantering past the sunset, and yeah, all I can see is his freaking zebra legs.
still nope
I tried to hold off making a decision on them, but the next day when I came out the the barn and had to choose between neatly-rolled TBZ grey polos and re-rolling a gross, dirty brownish set of supposedly white polos that needed a wash desperately, I didn't even hesitate. And I was at the barn alone with no one to impress.
he's embarrassed
So uh. It's a good thing Alyssa is a Tim Burton fan because these are definitely not staying in the collection. 

19 comments:

  1. Agreed, those are a no go. Love the gloves, want those and the purple color too.

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  2. I'm so sad about the polo wraps. I had such high hopes for them but my ocd can't handle that.

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    Replies
    1. Ugh I know. They were so amazing in my head.

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  3. First off, you're the worst enabler. But I can't wait to get my cowl neck too, hahaha. Grey is the best color.

    Secondly, I was dying laughing at this post. Poor Zebra legged Courage

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  4. SERIOUSLY EMMA.

    Also yes those are hideous.

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  5. Oh goodness, those are rather horrifying. Not at all what I would have expected after seeing your IG post.

    Also, if Emma get Instagram who will be our resident cave troll?

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    1. You raise a valid point. We love our troll.

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  6. I don't hate the polos...but they are not very DQ-ish for sure!

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  7. lolz i like my cave tho!! it's all quiet and peaceful and there are only a few bats but we mostly leave each other alone (except for that one asshole, oops.... remind me to tell you my bat story one day)

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  8. Look at all these people hating on my new polos. Imma go make Tim Burton proud!

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  9. Well, there goes my money...
    I've had my eye on that cowl neck sweater for a while. And now I has it! And a few other things I "need."

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  10. Oh man, ombre up the whole leg would have been so cool!

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  11. Love the shirt & gloves, such a pity about the polos as the rest is so lush 😍

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  12. LAWLZ @ Emma being a cave troll. And oh but the grey is so pretty...the striping...not so much! But that shirt!! Love.

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  13. Ooh, yikes, not the best look! I assumed the same thing you did about the meaning of "ombre"...

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