Rolex Part the Fourth: Parting Thoughts

We're going with a bullet pointed list here because 1) this is a lot of writing and 2) headcold+vertigo is not helping the higher cognitive functions.

adios

• 11/10 would go again right this minute--I had so much fun and loved the entire experience. 

Topline Leather represent!

• The people really made this for me. Well, and the shopping. If you hate people or shopping, this might not be your jam. Or your jam might be different than my jam. Either way. 

great dogs, too

• Covered seats=worth. it. For stadium at least. Especially if you're not from the special hell that is the midwest. Humidity=murder. 

stadium communal sweat pool

• I'd heard horror stories about lines and prices at the concessions, so we brought drinks/snacks and never visited the concessions. My observation was that as long as you didn't hit prime times, concession lines were fine. Prices were off the charts though. Think $10 for a drink. Yikes! 

free shots on xc tho

• Fauxbarrys (or the real thing) are a super smart idea if you ever leave pavement. That grass is long and thick and wet feet are not the funnest.

plus great shots

• Do your research! I'm a shopper, so I kinda know what stuff sells for. I got some killer deals on things I needed (gloves and shirts), did not regret buying some things that never go on sale (Eponia), and passed on things that had marginal-at-best pricing (LA MUNDIAL AND C4). No harm in paying full price if it means you're not paying shipping (or get to handle stuff in person), but gotta be smart. Or loaded. Prefer both.

yes plz

• If you're from the northwest, be forewarned that they don't really do coffee there (there=Kentucky generally). You will have to look harder to get your fix. Learn to love gas station coffee.

or drink not coffee

• A backpack or messenger bag was absolutely invaluable. I loaded it with snacks and drinks in the morning and then swapped those things out for purchases as the day went on. 

CAT BAG

• Parking is not that bad. Unless it is Saturday. And then it is THAT BAD. 

we've already walked a hundred miles AND THE CAR IS BY THOSE TREES

• Driving around the back roads and seeing miles and miles of beautiful black fences and rolling green hills was like being in fairy land. IF FAIRY LAND WAS BUILT IN HELL. Regardless, must-see experience. Plus your car likely has all-important climate control. 

Um... I think that about covers it? 

Rolex Part the Third: Hampton!

One of the things Karen mentioned when she said I could come stay with her is that I could ride the estimable Hampton.

Which like.

I post videos of me riding fairly regularly, so y'all know I am not a super amazing rider.

And also.

I have BEEN THERE when you're watching someone royally f**k up your horse and just standing there counting how many weeks it's going to take you to put them back together once they get off.

So no way in hell I'd hold someone to an offer like that. We put way too much into the giant, fragile beasts of ours to just let every internet weirdo who shows up at our house get on them.

so hampy!

I would also like to not that I probably win the award for world's most oblivious blogger because apparently everyone BUT ME knew that Hampers was "Hugenourmous" (per Andrea) and I just thought he was normal size until I stood next to him like DAMN SON. DAMN. Because he is a big, big horse.

I figured I could at least take some cute iphone pictures for Karen.

Which I did.

But with all the cookie-stuffing, ear-forward-getting, and outfit-changing, the one thing that really shone through was Hampton's hilarious and amazing personality. I'm really, really picky about horses--I don't like rude, pushy, mean, or needy. 97% of horses I interact with are a total "meh pass" for me (and the other 3% are usually indicative of my deeper personal issues, but who's counting?!).

U R GIVE HAMPERS A COOKEE

I'm trying to write this without sounding like the world's worst tinder first date, but Hampton just has this goofy personality and larger-than-life persona. He's hard to photograph because he just wants to be with you the whole time. And not in the needy-pushy-whos-the-alpha-mare sort of way that makes me INSANE but like in a friendly, perfectly adorable way.

I don't know whether he brings the best out in Karen or she brings the best out in him, but the two of them together are amazing. (Not that I wouldn't TOTALLY STEAL HIM if I had a chance, but they really have a beautiful relationship.)

...I will try to keep this going so Karen doesn't flip out and think I'm taking the Kia to Kentucky and stuffing Hampersand in the back seat. BECAUSE I MIGHT.

Haha. You didn't see that here.

Regardless, Karen popped on Hamps and did all the cool dressaging. She's all "oh I'm not a very good rider" and I'm like "yeah you super suck, other than like your perfect hands and legs that never move and excellent posture and your excellent seat and perfect outfit BUT OTHER THAN THAT..." so anyways don't believe Karen when she says those things because believe me I wish I rode like her.

And then she's like "want a turn?" and I'm like "GROND WANT RIDE PONEE YAS" because I am basically like a caveman next to all that elegance.

We shortened the stirrups and I crawled onto the giant Hampton and giggled like a pony rider. HES SO BIG.

And like.

I R WALKING

I thought I was a Hampton fan before I got on. After riding him? DAMN SON. DAMN. Legit one of the coolest horses I have ever sat on. Scratch that. The coolest. Because like I have sat on some $$$$$$ horses and not one of them was I like "LOOK A BEAR" to distract their owner and then galloped off into the sunset on. (Not that I did this either--Karen is pretty smart about where bears are and also a hella faster runner than me.)

Cough. Let me try to use words and facts here. I don't know enough to ask Hampton to do cool dressage shit like Karen does, but I can toodle around like a first-ish level dressage rider. Hampton did EXACTLY what I asked of him. He wasn't running off with me and I wasn't pony kicking him to go. He put in the effort I asked for. If I asked for a downward transition and totally dropped him and took my leg off, well...

def what you want to do with your friend's 4th level horse in front of her

But if I sat up and rode and put my leg on and looked where I was going?

like i even know what a double is for lolz

I'm pretty cautious on new horses, especially with my fresh-out-of-rehab status and total lack of fitness right now, but Hampton put me at ease and was a total blast to ride. Karen even assisted from the ground and I did my first ever piaffe!

move over steffan peters!

I don't really know how to wrap this up. I love Hampton. He is the shit. THANK YOU KAREN for putting up with my weird caveman self and letting me play with your awesome pony.

And if he disappears from your pasture, definitely don't look in my back yard.

Rolex Part the Second: SHOPPING ERMEGERD

Not gonna lie--I’ve been planning this whole “Rolex” shebang since like… November? And all along my plan looked like this:

1) Fly in Wednesday in case of delays or problems
2) Go shopping Thursday
3) Other stuff probably

and put a topline browband on Eagle Lion #achieved

Yeah not a joke. I don’t get to touch a lot of stuff where I live, so I’ve been putting aside shopping $ for a couple months now. I wanted to get a little crazy-go-nuts in the trade fair and not regret it for months afterwards.

socks

First things first. We took a selfie at the ticket booth, walked through the front gate, and BAM Rolex swag booth. I’d already peeked around the official RK3DE online store so I wouldn’t have sticker shock and I knew I wanted something Rolex-y to take home and wear forever and for always. I nabbed a fancy schmancy coat. And a hat. And a gift for a friend. And a lanyard, cuz all the cool kids have lanyards.

modeling talents provided by Leah

stubben

antares

Next up was a big, fancy outdoor tent that I have no idea what the name was, but they had a blue and orange polo belt with my name on it. Also an excellent British guy on staff who can take a pretty solid joke, which is good because one of us is sometimes awkward. #notsayingwho #itsme

eponia

Then we were following a hot tip about a sale and going as fast as we could to the indoor, but I possibly saw a whole tent full of fancy leather halters and remembered I needed to ask some halter questions. I stepped in the booth and started asking questions about a product they didn’t have in the tent and then all of a sudden I was handing over my credit card and apparently that happened. They say it will be at my house within 30 days.

We were still following the hot tip and made it almost 100 feet before we found the Perri’s tent. I was just standing there while Leah and Karen shopped for whips and I still ended up spending $30 on two new lead ropes for my newly ordered custom halter.

so many options!

Then we were like DAMMIT HOT TIP and made it all the way to the Horseloverz tend. I’ll be the first to say I’m not a big fan of the company in general because their shipping/pricing/website irritate me, but I also got another color of my favorite Noble Outfitters base layer for like $6 so yeah that was good.

options!

Let’s see… I think I made it the rest of the way around the upper level of the indoor without buying anything. No wait… there was definitely a Mango Bay purchase (Clearance belts for $9.50). Leah and Karen nearly talked me into a new dressage whip (since mine is actually like… 15 years old), but I didn’t want to take it on the plane (which ended up being a good decision because holy hell).

shad!

husky!

I also snagged three sets of cool boot socks. Ummmm helped Karen and Leah try stuff on at the Annie’s booth. Signed up for every single possible giveaway. Talked to the La Mundial people about custom boots (but did not indulge). We wandered back through the tents we skipped the first time out and ran into Liz and Austen (and I knew Austen needed a snaffle bridle) and that ended up in a repeat trip to the Eponia booth (also note 20 tack ho points award to me for getting Austen to both look at something and buy it).

Which uh.

oooooo brown patent

I saw this. Arm modeling courtesy of Liz.

You’ll be pleased to know I did not buy that. I just went back to the car and took a swag picture and sat in the sun with my friends and appreciated what an amazing moment it was.

day one haul

Then I went home and dreamed about said bridle and so yeah trip #1 of Friday morning was straight to Eponia to buy said pretty. Do I need a brown patent bridle for anything? YES YES I DO. I made Leah shop for a brown dressage saddle for me while I was driving to the Horse Park even. (No luck yet, but I’ll keep you posted.)

yesssss

damage done before 11am

Friday’s haul included a trip to the stubben tent (holla to my girl Carly for the heads up on $3 bits) (plus they had $29 leather draw reins) (and $8 grab straps) and another tent I don’t remember the name of but hello $30 Roeckls. Then Renate showed up booze-less, so I gave her a Mike’s and sent her to Annie’s with Leah.

the ever-dangerous annie's booth

Noted: Renate knocked this one out of the park. We also snagged sweet sweatshirts and socks from The Plaid Horse (thanks Amanda!). Bliss of London had a teal hat giveaway so yeah got one of those too.

so sad she didn't buy these

Saturday I definitely didn’t need to spend any more money, but we took Jen shopping. Leah kicks ass at digging through bins of shit and while looking for a Connor halter, she found my dream convertible leather grooming halter for $30. I got a lead rope to go with it because obviously.

day two haul

Sunday I helped Karen find a half pad… and I actually think I might not have purchased anything this day. Unless we’re counting hard soda, which I definitely did purchase.

um yes need this cat bag

Monday I also didn’t purchase anything but did totes steal Karen’s awesome cat bag that served us faithfully on cross country day.

Buckley approved

Annnnnd I think that about covers it? Maybe?

yesssss

Rolex Part the First: Internet Strangers

When I conncocted this crazy idea of trekking across the country to go to the biggest equestrian event in this hemisphere, my first thought was to reach out to Karen.

you're going ro see a lot of repeat photos from Karen and Leah's blog bur I swear I actually took them haha

I have been internet friends with Karen since the Hellmare days. I mean, I’m always a bit honored when people tell me that my posts about selling her inspired them to move on from a bad equine relationship themselves, but back when I was in their position, Karen was someone who helped talk me through the process.

she kicks all the ass. also HAMPY <3 <3 <3.

Other people might be taken aback when someone they’ve never met is like “hey can i crash at your place with some friends you don’t know”, but not Karen. She’s awesome. She not only said we could come, she also promised me a ride on the fabulous and famous Hampton! (More on him later. Swoon.)

And then when things started falling in to place, I peer-pressured Leah into coming with, replete with inviting her to Karen’s house even though neither of us had ever met Karen. I online-met Leath though a shared love of tack and shopping, so it was only fitting that our real-life meet up occur at a giant public tackrection.

It was definitely a friends-at-first-meet situation, with a shared love of ponies, tack, dive bars, and laughter. We hauled our happy asses to the Horse Park first (well, second… wait third) thing Thursday morning. (One of us can't leave the house without coffee. The other two are Karen and Leah.)

As one of us (me? Leah? I don’t even know) was posting our most excellent dorky tourist picture on facebook, we spied THE EXACT SAME PHOTO only this time featuring Renate and her excellent Canadian friends. We promptly ran into them at Bit of Britain (thus beginning the American Hick Weirdo Nightmare for Renate’s long-suffering friends) and they sent us out shopping with promises of big discounts in another shop. (Shopping recap later I promise).

had to

We booked it across the oudoor shopping, ran into Amy (who is awesome and has the coolest kids/corgi but is sadly too busy to hang out with us much on account of how she was making tacos and riding herd on aformentioned crew).

Also apparently Karen knows everyone in the state of Kentucky. Just thought I’d throw that out there.

pre-party shenanigans

Thursday night meant Taco Party at Amy’s campsite, which delivered as promised. We got better acquainted with Renate, met Hillary, Amanda, Lisa… um… oh yes Austen and Liz were there, but we’d actually met them shopping earlier in the day (and wait for the tack wrap up to see how I scored 15 tack ho points for actually getting Austen to buy something). I’m trying to think if I’m missing anyone. Shout out in the comments if I did and I’ll tag you here. Sorry--writing this on a delayed flight home while coming down with a head cold so you kind of get what you paid for today.

Friday brought more shopping (we uh… shopped a lot) and actual watching of said equestrian event. We met a fun group of people who are definitely not in our income bracket and I ended up sharing a headset with one of our new friends, which naturally led to an afternoon of laughs and tipsy Sally O’Connor impressions. By which I do not mean Sally was tipsy. Just that her understated elegance lends itself to impressions by tipsy spectators.

want to save money on head sets? bring a splitter. or sit by someone who did.

We then proceeded to pick our coursewalk based on what Renate’s group was doing but she had to run back to the car, thus stranding her friends with us (remember, American Hick Weirdo Nightmare) and possibly there was a misunderstanding by one of said Americans about the contents of a package in a gift bag and someone huffed electrolyte powder.

We won’t say who that someone was but her initials are SB and she very much regretted that choice immediately after making it. If you were wondering. Also read packages before you just assume they contain gels. JUST SAYING.

much fun was made by a certain blogger

Saturday was all its cracked up to be. And more. The estimable Jen drove two hours to the Horse Park to meet us, despite being sleep-deprived and horrifically busy. She also brought Bitsy, who is the most popular dog I’ve ever met. I’ve been blogger friends with Jen since like the beginning of time and she is one of those incredibly authentic people who writes the way she is and so meeting her was less like meeting her and more the “oh hey” that you’d say to old friends. (I also demand tack ho points for getting another notorious blogger spendthrift to cave and buy shit at the trade fair.)

and you thought i didn't have any original shots. ha!

We had an excellent dinner with Renate and friends (who still found us kind of horrifying but consented to a group dessert photo) and then it was on to Sunday!

there wasn't a bad choice

Leah had to leave us and go back to this “reality” thing, but Karen and I had covered seats for stadium. Oh and we shopped more. Once we got situated, Alanna came and found us. I’m still giggling that Alanna is one of the closest bloggers to me geographically, but we had to travel like 1500 miles across the country to actually meet up. But hey! Glad we did and hopefully in the near-ish future, I’ll actually make it to her neck of the woods.

i blogger failed and didn'r get a pic with Alanna

After stadium (ERMEGERD what a match!), we were finally able to catch up with the whirlwind that is Stephanie. So glad we did! We even coerced Renate and her friends into joinging us for one last hilarious and amazing dinner at a restaurant that was ALL KENTUCKY. But um. They had unlimited chocolate pudding at the salad bar? So that’s something. (Shout out to our server Mitch for really bringing the southern charm. I think that’s what they call it.) We had an absolute cross-cultural blast with the whole crew.

you had to be there...

I’d say we said our good byes, but the fantastic thing with internet friends is that you aren’t really separated when you leave, so shout out to all the awesome ladies who made this past weekend absolutely unforgettable. Can’t wait to see you again. (I’m thinking Rebecca and Dressage at Devon. Already have places to stay!)