Or Not

Without getting overly personal or detailed, let's just agree that 2016 is a shitty-ass year on a lot of levels, and every time I think something will work for me, I get blindsided with something else dumb and out of my control.

blinded by his own shine

Yeah so that happened again.

I now have a lot of free time and no money, so we're definitely not going to a show this weekend or for the foreseeable future. I'm trying to see it as an opportunity to fine tune things we need a lot of help with.

like braiding

or taking conformation shots

and cool dressage stuff

With any luck (don't hold your breath), I'll be back to work shortly. In the mean time, how great does my horse look?

Handy Hints for Online Shopping

As I mentioned, the campaign to pay for the Precious is ongoing. I have certainly done my fair share of buying online through the years, but now I'm doing more selling than normal. I've now compiled these experiences for your benefit.

don't sit in things you can't afford

For BUYERS:

1) READ the ad carefully. Some adds are shoddily written, but still contain a lot of the necessary information. If you have questions, by all means, ask.

2) Understand how offers work. If you don't want to pay the asking price but do want the item, it is 100% ok to contact the seller and offer the amount you would pay. That's negotiating. It's legit.

It is not ok to message and ask, "What's the lowest you will go?"

I'm struggling to explain what should be self-evident, but it's already listed for what I want for it. That is the lowest I will go. I'm not going to be like "LULZ JK actually only want a third of the price." No.

definitely try on boots that don't fit

3) Understand how offers work part II

There's making an offer and there's insulting the seller. I don't have a hard and fast rule here--on a higher end item that is fairly priced for the market (not for your budger--your budget is your problem), It's generally ok to offer about 10% less. That's not saying the seller will take it. Do not offer a tiny fraction of the price and expect it to go well.

Now if something has been sitting on the market for a while and the seller keeps dropping the price or adds an OBO to it, sure, shoot over a number. But if it's brand new? ;-) Give a good post a bump.

so much Back on Track!

For SELLERS:

1) The net result of a post bump is a post bump. Even if it's dumb.

I hear so many sellers complain about potential buyers asking stupid questions or tire kicking a facebook ad. Here's the thing--the way facebook works, even if it is the WORLD'S DUMBEST QUESTION, that bumps your add back to the top of the group and puts it in front of more people. So does your response to that question.

Sure, it can be annoying, but it's traffic and traffic gets things sold.

2) Price items fairly. This is a big one for me. I was raised by thrifty parents and I am the QUEEN of never paying full price.

Fair=fair market value. This is pretty easy to determine generally--what are similar items selling for? You have to compare apples to apples. Used bridle to used bridle, not used to new. My general rule on shopping for used items is simple: I'll pay about 60% MAX of the new price (unless it's a specific and trendy item with market value exceptions). The older an item is, the less I'm willing to cough up. The big exceptions here are trendy-brand (read: French) strap goods and saddles.

Saddles very widely--an in-demand used saddle can hold it's value relatively well, if it's the popular seat size and specs. Those ancient Crosby PdNs? STOP TRYING TO SELL THEM. Seriously. No one on the planet wants one.

3) Be clear and answer promptly.

In an instant marketplace, I want answers relatively quickly. I don't mean wake up in the middle of the night to answer a dumb question, but within 12-24 hours, you should be able to answer questions and pass pictures on to buyers. If you ignore a buyer, they're going to find something else.

I think I pretty well covered it.

All that to say, I'm moving a bunch of stuff to assist in paying for the precious, so if you need something, hit me up.

We Go to a Horseshow Part the Third and Final

Yesterday was a weirdly emo note to leave off on. I was very, very confused. Frustrated. Not angry, not really sad. Just sort of in this weird brain space where nothing felt right or good or bad or anything. I wasn't (and I'm not) mad at Courage. I was just stumped. I couldn't point to things that should have changed. I can't fix it and I can't make a plan, because I don't know what's wrong. Or if anything's wrong. Or if it's normal. Or if it's me. Or if it's him.

I read some articles and talked to one of my favorite hot OTTB experts and window shopped for first level horses, which confirmed that I can't afford them. And then I did what everyone having a weird horsey-crisis should do--go back to the show grounds to crew for a friend.

gotta scratch the itch

The weirdest thing happened.

I saw the hellmare.

And see, I haven't seen her in almost five years. She and I had a hate/hate relationship and after some complications with her sale, I have no contact with her owner. Which is fine. They deserve each other.

So I'd spent the previous 24 hours thinking I needed a warmblood and then I saw the one I used to own and watched her go around. And yeah. She's still gorgeous. And fancy. And all that.

Oh, and she's 100% still evil and I don't miss her for a second. I didn't want to ride her. Or see her. Or pet her. Or anything.

enough about that bitch. let's talk about this guy.

And I guess in a really odd way, that sort of put it in perspective for me.

I can't afford a made horse, which means I have to make my own.

Making my own is going to mean bumps in the road.

The bumps I had with the hellmare made me want to quit riding entirely.

The bumps I have with Courage are confusing and confounding, but he's not trying to kill me.

um plus how cute are we?

 And the more I think about it, the more I'm ok with it. All of it. Courage had to learn to do all the movements in the tests slowly and at home. Now he's learning how to put them all together in the dressage court and it's hard for him. It's going to take time and patience there just like it took time and patience at home. He's still my horse, the one I can't wait to see and enjoy figuring out.

well. most of the time.

We're not brilliant this year. We're not even very good. It hurts my pride to get terrible scores because I know how much better we're capable of, but the only way to prove that is to keep working.

enjoy the journey

One day at a time.

PS does someone want to buy me nice show gloves? Size 8. In case you were thinking that my sad, dead crochet gloves need to go.

We Go to a Horseshow, Part Twoooooo

Yeah so. That happened.

And by "that", I mean a big overnight temp drop from 101f the day before to 66f at my ride time.

So that wasn't super awesome.

What was awesome was that Courage loaded up and went to the show, unloaded, was sort of ok, and ended up being w/t rideable in the warm up. It wasn't great, but it was ok. (Also there was a crop duster plane flying overhead, so that's cool too.)

and i like this picture

What was less awesome was how Courage was like NOPE CHUCK TESTA in the arena. That first lengthen diagonal in first two? Yeah bolted it again. Last time we did that, I blamed myself for pushing for more power. This time, I was literally like "we will just trot around this corner and ignore the lengthen part", and C was like... well, like this:

but we stayed on our line of direction, so that's cool

The canter was semi-rideable, which was great. It was maybe the first time we picked up the right lead at a show without me just chanting "please don't bolt" over and over. There were moments in the trot that didn't completely suck. But most of them did (completely suck). It's really quite horrible. You can watch first two here if you're mega bored. Or just want to be catty. Whatever.

I didn't feel like I was being tense and making him worse, but I'm not ruling it out. I mean, I remembered my tests. Well, there was one trot transition I did at C instead of M and got a 3 for, but in general I was thinking and managing the horse under me. Lindsey doesn't think I was breathing, which I suppose is possible.

also apparently i desperately needed to shorten my reins

Courage was just SO.TENSE. in the arena, complete with a 180 degree pre-test spook at nothing (?) and just being so tight through his back. So tight. Losing rhythm. Up periscope. I tried looping the reins to give him somewhere to go, but that just got us worse charging-forward-out-of-balance and starting-to-panic, so.

stride two inches long

The judge nailed me to the wall for not riding forward, which was fair, because I didn't. (In fairness to me, that's because Courage couldn't handle it, but she didn't know that and can't/shouldn't accommodate it.) She loved Courage and said he had a lot of potential. (Which I think is true and is why I'm busting my ass for this damn sport anyways.) She gave us two 58s, which was fair given our (lack of) performance. Just once, I'd like to get a "tactful ride" comment or something instead of straight up "ride your nice horse more forward you useless lump of shit" because well. Sigh.

but we got satin so yay satin!

I don't know where I'm going with this. It wasn't a great show. It wasn't even a good show. I got off and was like "lulz so glad not trying to show recognized", then got home and had an email from the recognized show next weekend that they'd found my unsubmitted online entry that I bailed on because $$$ and they were like "hey thanks for the entry you'll get ride times ASAP".

And then I had some margaritas and decided it was a sign and what the hell.

Because let's face it.

Either I'm locking up and riding like shit and screwing up my horse

or

He's locking up and going like shit at shows because he doesn't get out enough

or

I don't know, I'm cursed and will always suck at shows.

like the only moment that didn't suck

And the only way to settle that is to go do a couple opportunity classes and see what happens.

Or maybe that's the margaritas talking.

Maybe they're on to something.

We Go to a Horseshow, Part One

I've been a bit gloomy about our show prospects lately--dealing with things outside of horses hasn't left the funds/energy to have the season I wanted and Courage.

Yeah him.

He's got the idea of first level work pretty well, but he needs lots and lots of time to process it right now. He needs show miles to get comfortable in the ring and he needs home miles to really relax into his work.

So whatever, right? There will be horse shows next year.

Except I'm basically 12.

I resigned myself to not showing at all for about 90 seconds, then last minute on Thursday, I wiggled in to a local show on Saturday. At first level. What the hell.

could it really go worse?

For our last show, I tried to hop on the day before and w/t/c in a circle just because. That was a bad idea. Don't want to repeat that. I showed up Friday morning before this show and Courage nickered at me. He NEVER does that.

So as our last show-prep before moving (back) up to first level at a show, we did these things:

graze through the fence

try to roll in the manure pile

have a bath

play with grooming equipment

I normally try to RIDE the beastie and at least get him a little tired before going on an adventure, but eh... we haven't been stunningly successful lately. Might as well try something new.

Right?

A Philosophy of Failing

After watching an equine professional light into a person for taking less-than-ideal photos of a normal situation, I've been thinking about my own fail photos.

no i cannot tell you what is happening here

I mean, we all know I'm not a pro of any sort and the only horse I train is my own, so I have no vested interest in a perfectly curated online presence for any reason other than my own vanity. Plus, if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, I'd venture you have no illusions of grandeur regarding my own riding.

I fail. Frequently. Publicly. Hilariously.

and i stayed on even

I mean, I love those pictures that make me look like I know my shit and have a handle on things, but we all know it's not a normal state of affairs around here.

So to me, part of being honest on my blog is being honest about what the day-to-day looks like. It's messy. It's hard. It's also funny. I'd be lying to you if I said every ride was great and I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't laugh my ass off at the pictures I've ended up with.

it's never not funny

 I'm not perfect. Courage isn't perfect.

he's also not an xc horse

The ability to laugh at the genuinely funny things along the way makes it all worthwhile.

If' you're insecure professional enough that you only want perfect shots of yourself and your horse online, hey, more power to you. My income isn't built around my ability to look good on a horse (thank the maker!) so to me, it's immaterial. I fail. I laugh. I learn. I keep on trying.

indoors or outdoors!

What are your thoughts on fail photos?

Brain Check

It's easy for me to be upset about my perceived lack of progress with Courage right now. Let's face it: I failed at a big goal of going to a recognized show and won't have another chance until next year. Things sometimes seem unhinged and we're slowly working through first level, which is apparently really, really hard for a Courage brain. Instead of being upset about that, I want to look at where we are relative to where we've been.

one month post track

In 2013, I didn't even have Courage until the end of July. He was a skinny, fit straight-off-the-track racehorse who had no idea what this whole new life was about. The only thing he knew for sure was that he didn't want to be a racehorse any more.

only show of 2014

In 2014, we went to our first ever event derby at crossrails. We did a walk/trot dressage test. It was a week after a disastrous jump lesson that fried both of us and Courage was not in a forgiving mood. The dressage was acceptable(ish) and we got disqualified jumping. It wasn't pretty. I didn't have a reliable go button and I did have major jumping issues.

first show of 2015

In 2015, we went to the same derby again. We dropped down to ground poles. We were coming off a couple of very rough months and I decided that either he'd pan out as a show horse or he'd go away. Again, we did a walk/trot dressage test (which was lovely) and then somewhat redeemed ourself in the jump round. We finished on a (very high) number and kicked off the season which culminated in our first-ever tri color ribbon.

third (!!) show of 2016

2016 found us once again at this particular derby. We've given up the notion of jumping competitively but we went out and put down a dressage test with cantering. Courage was probably the most rideable he's ever been at a show and while it wasn't brilliant, it was a good enough test for that day.

So. Yeah. Instead of doing ALL THE SHOWS this year like I so desperately want to, I'm staying at home and explaining dressage to Courage, step by tedious step. It's not always easy, but I like to think it's paying off. He's not just a skinny OTTB any more--he's added muscles all over the place. Together, we're building the foundation for future success.

And if I take my time now, the horse I built one ride at a time will march into the ring and lay down a test to be proud of.

Mindset Evolutions

I would just like to point out that the lack of wildly over-the-top flailing pictures this year is actually not because of a dearth of excellent local photography, but because the FLAIL AND LEAVE NAOW BAI response in Courage is much, much reduced.

this was actually a spook

I know I've said it before, but Courage is a really complicated horse. He takes a thinking ride, every step of every day. I've gone on and on about how the "correct" response to difficult situations is rarely the Courage-approved response.

And this year, I'm finally figuring out how to work with that.

the answer is always a new saddle pad

Courage flailing is Courage screaming that he can't mentally handle what I want. It's not Courage ducking work or Courage being a dick. He has a great work ethic and while he can be an asshole, he's actually pretty sweet most of the time if he isn't on the defensive.

So when Courage tells me I CANT, I've learned to immediately ask, "what can you do instead?"

And mean it.

It's taken a while, but it's working. He's learning to trust that I won't ask for more than he can do and that I'll listen when he says stop. That means that he's more willing to try things because he knows he has an out if he gets overwhelmed.

It's unconventional, but it shouldn't be. It's more like a conversation of equals than a master/beast hierarchy. It certainly wouldn't work if Courage was lazy or mean, but he's not. It also doesn't mean that Courage can say "eh, rather not" to get off the hook. I pay his bills with the expectation that he will step up and do a job an hour a day and he has to deal with that.

It's just that I've recognized that I'm not going to out-muscle, out-fight, or out-last him. The direct methods don't get through to him--they piss him off. Instead of being mad at him for being pissed off at me because I'm being an asshole to him, it makes more sense to just calmly say, "ok, what can you do?"

and/or trample dogs

Right now, that answer is most frequently "walk on the buckle".

Sure, walking on the buckle isn't something that's "hard" or "cool" or "TRAINING" in a typical sense, but it builds his confidence in me and mine in him.

What's more, the flail fits have been primarily prompted by me asking Courage to push from his hind end and carry himself more correctly, which entails moving his back. While he's hardcore struggling with it at the trot, when he tells me that all he can do is walk, he offers a more connected walk that pushes from his hind end and moves his back and then he carries himself more correctly.

It's in there. He's figuring it out. Rage, intensity, and pressure will only set us back. It's amazing what we can do with patience, understanding, and communication.