Tuesday, May 9, 2017

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Courage wraps up his post-injection stall rest this evening when I'm cleared to pull him out and lunge him. I've been hand grazing him every day and he's been a champion patient.

But you know.

Will he be ok? What is ok going to look like for us? Should I stress buy a brown dressage saddle?

Obviously, the #1 thing I'm concerned about is Courage's comfort level. Objectively, I know that we have just taken the first steps in terms of management. I know there are a ton of options left on the table. I know I have a fabulous team in our corner. I know that we weren't planning on showing this year anyways. I know that I'll make responsible choices for Courage.

But I wouldn't be an ammy owner if I didn't have a few he's-crippled-for-life-omg-im-the-worst-owner-ever meltdowns a day, you know?

So those have happened.
jumper show!

I also keep thinking about jumping. Which. Obviously. He will never do again. Part of me knows that we took jumping off the table a long time ago and bitching about that now is just weird. And part of me is glad to finally know why the horse always hated grids (pound those ankles, baby) and jumps (landing sucks) and why I could never get him to use his body correctly (hard pass. don't blame him).

But part of me is profoundly sad that it's gone. Because that is something I miss.

There's also the questions--when I tell people what happened, the first thing they say is almost always "so what will you do if you can never ride him again?"

Which is clearly melodramatic, because I rode him before and I'll ride him again and it's not the end of the world, though it definitely might modify our goals somewhat.

But you know. Just hit that nerve with a hammer, why don't you.
ass. poopy ass, no less.

Though perhaps equally bad is the "well many horses with much uglier legs do much harder things", which again, is true.

But like.

If Courage was one of those horses, we wouldn't be standing here right now. WHERE WE ARE CLEARLY STANDING.
or sitting. ymmv.

As the vet said about the structural stuff going on with Courage, "it's not a problem til it's a problem and then it's a problem".

So it's a problem.

And we're dealing with it.

And bay horses look kind of washed out in brown tack.

But if the right brown dressage saddle came along, it would look fabulous with my new bridle.
I mean. It's not like I need a jump saddle any more.

36 comments:

  1. I can totally relate to meltdowns, especially meltdowns that never needed to happen. Overreacting is my game.

    Brown dressage saddles are to die for, but I haven't pulled the trigger yet either. Maybe I need to actually ride my horse in the saddle I have before thinking about buying another one. But.....who wants to be logical anyway.

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    1. Haha right? My saddle is fine. ITS FINE.

      It's just not brown...

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  2. Oh man - the meltdowns are real. And totally justified if you ask me! We put too much into this sport not to have a few (or a lot) of totally justifiable meltdowns on the "What if" train.

    The good news (so I am told) is that there are many, many horses out there doing all kinds of jobs willingly and comfortably with the right maintenance. I think the hard part is figuring out what that support is. It is kind of hit or miss, and can get expensive figuring it out.

    Here's hoping you find the right program for Courage quickly and cheaply, and can get back to dressagin'.

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    1. Yup, need to get his maintenance sorted out and the vet is optimistic we can. :-)

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  3. There's so very little you can truly change about a horse... and they're all so different. You'll find a place where you are both happy, it just takes time <3

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  4. Sorry, I feel like I am missing something... my understanding was that Courage is NQR, but the cause of the NQR has not been definitively determined yet, and so you are waiting to see which treatments will make how much difference.

    If that's the case, why do you know that jumping is permanently off the table? Did Xrays show a specific injury that gives you more knowledge?

    Having a horse who is not feeling good is a sucky situation no matter what the result is, but please don't mourn the loss of anything prematurely.

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  5. I'm sorry friend. It is tough to let go of a teeny tiny hope you have had in the back of your mind.

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    1. Yeah. Didn't realize I was that attached to it. Oops.

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  6. buy brown dressage saddle?

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  7. I feel like you're not a real tack ho unless you have at least two saddles at any given time.

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    1. You raise a valid point. Though I feel compelled to defend myself and say my jump saddle is on consignment but not technically sold yet.

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    2. The fact that you are looking for a brown dressage saddle just because you bought a brown dressage bridle gives you so many tack ho points that we will give a break if your jump saddle sells prior to the new addition arriving.

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  8. Been there. Done that. Have a closet full of t-shirts. It sucks. Just know what your limits are, and then keep an open communication line with him. He'll tell you what's working and what's not.

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    1. Ha yeah a couple times I've been like "it looks bad but Pig is worse and he's still going". Which like. No two horses created equal and all.

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    2. Yeah. Pig is also annoying stoic. Like the last month I've been going around screaming at him "IF YOU'D JUST FUCKING LIMP INSTEAD OF FREAK THE FUCK OUT I'D RETIRE YOU!"

      But no. He insists on being 100% sound feeling but crazy. Fucking hell. I really want to have an autopsy done on him when he goes just to tally up all the shit that is actually wrong with him.

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  9. ohhh dear.

    i own a brown dressage saddle. it's my favorite thing about dressage.

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    1. Uh. Well. That's a data point I possibly will consider.

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  10. Brown looks awful on bays. Send that bridle to me for my chestnut.

    As for the rest, what I tell myself in these types of situations is that I'll burn that bridge when I get there. (And I usually napalm the fuck out of it. Ha!)

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    1. It might still have some Hampy magic on it even!!

      I'm in for napalm. My vet thinks I need to chill out a little. Tomato, tomato.

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  11. Huh. My fav part of dressage saddles is they're black. Cause all my AP and western saddles have been shades of brown, and I'm a black always looks good kinda girl. As to the other, I must admit even though I said I gave up jumping, I like still jumping tiny stuff when my back is cooperating, giving it up for good is hard.

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    1. Black is safe. Black is sharp on bays.

      But I love brown.

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  12. Ugh. After ending my vacation in "I need a brown saddle because I still want us to be hunters and they have brown tack 1 + 1 = 2 land," currently in "should sell my jump saddle to pay my vet bills, but I just can't let go of it" land. It's balls.

    On the bright side, that brown bridle is gorgeous. I bet it wants a saddle to match. Fingers crossed the injections will help break the cycle <3

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    1. Oh, the buy/sell thing is totes normal around here. Ho status means nothing stays for long.

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  13. I have nothing new to add but thoroughly enjoyed reading your responses to the comments...always entertaining

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  14. sounds like you are doing all the right things and sometimes the waiting is the hardest. Hell yeah get a brown dressage saddle if you find one. if nothing else set it up by the tv and sit in it while watching bad tv and drinking wine (What does that sound like something i Might have done once/? LOL)....also specs on your jump saddle? STILL LOOKING...le sigh.....

    I hope Courage responds to all and is back to 'normal' soon :)

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    1. 18" Barnsby Diablo M tree. Great saddle, great price. Let me know if you're interested.

      And yes to bad tv with excellent beverages. I have definitely made netflix pay for itself many times over.

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  15. I go through that cycle pretty regularly with Ryon, who's out on pasture rest right now. He's only 12, not ready to be retired, but the osteoarthritis is clearly not going to "get better" - blah blah blah. I feel ya girl and we're here to help you with whatever bridges need to be crossed. Thinking about y'all

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    Replies
    1. Yeah nothing gets reversed at this point. :-/ Fingers crossed for management.

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