Friday, January 29, 2016

Just a Little Bad Romance

While talking to a horsey friend the other day, I realized that not everyone spends as much time in bookstores as I do. More specifically, some of you are missing out on the hilarity that is cover art for romance novels featuring horses. Without further ado, I bring you these gems from the internet:

bitch rides that horse like a couch. also is she like 7 feet tall?
yes, that is totally how reins work
definitely not racist
tiny man with compensation horse? read more to find out!
but how much longer does the left leg have to be to qualify for para?
no wonder the horse can only turn left, dumbass
question: does he even have a right leg?
how can crotchless people also be in romance novels? that seems contradictory

i really can't explain what's happening here. heavy reins there bud?

definitely how men respond to me in breeches
Thor on a Horse. ok now this i would watch.
Seriously. Dying. I realize that romance novel cover artists probably aren't paid well enough to be equestrians, but you'd think they covered basic anatomy in art school? Apparently not. Who else has some gems I should be aware of?
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22 comments:

  1. Alli + DinoJanuary 29, 2016 at 7:12 AM

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I am literally sitting here, by myself, laughing my fool head off at these things. OMG. Priceless!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AustenJanuary 29, 2016 at 7:16 AM

    Be A Hero: They are actually Siamese Centaur twins. The legs are dummies so they can fit into the cruel world.
    -- I might actually read that book.

    ReplyDelete
  3. SusanJanuary 29, 2016 at 7:37 AM

    OMG - these are hysterical :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. jenjJanuary 29, 2016 at 8:18 AM

    I am TOTALLY judging those books by their covers. Dude can't ride a horse for realz, I don't want to read it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SprinklerBanditJanuary 29, 2016 at 8:27 AM

      Is there any situation in which that prince of dreams character would not look awkward? Dude would make the grocery store look uncomfortable.

      Delete
  5. UnknownJanuary 29, 2016 at 8:23 AM

    What really kills me is when books ABOUT horses (Like Georgina Bloomberg's A Circuit series) has bad cover art. Like REALLY?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SprinklerBanditJanuary 29, 2016 at 8:26 AM

      Haha! I haven't looked at that. I specifically tried to avoid picking on small market/author promoted type books, but she would have been mainstream enough. ;-)

      Delete
  6. EventingSaddlebredStyleJanuary 29, 2016 at 8:24 AM

    The laughter turned to drool at the last picture.... The rest are hysterical!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2016 at 8:27 AM

    I love the padded cavesson with flash, matched with the straw hat. MC

    ReplyDelete
  8. emmaJanuary 29, 2016 at 8:40 AM

    you mean, you don't ride your horse like that?!?

    ReplyDelete
  9. KalinJanuary 29, 2016 at 9:18 AM

    LOL i love this. Love Thor on a horse, too...I swear, I swooned when I watched Sense & Sensibility with Alan Rickman, and saw him ride. HE CAN ACTUALLY RIDE. Books and movies (especially of the romance variety) don't know much about horses apparently.

    ReplyDelete
  10. outofashesJanuary 29, 2016 at 9:30 AM

    Not all romance, and not all equine related but this is one of my favorite time suck websites:

    http://kindlecoverdisasters.tumblr.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cut-N-JumpJanuary 29, 2016 at 10:53 AM

    At first glance, I didn't notice your comments under each one. It wasn't until the next to last one that I realized there was commentary.

    The first one looks like she's sorta side saddle because she's all tied up, but the heels? Oh and did you notice the first title? Gun-Mistress of the Smokepole Pack. Is she a whore??? ROLF

    The next one- An English bridle on a cowboy's horse? Really??? The one with the 5 Westerns looks like he's preparing to bail as the horse goes down sideways...

    I'll stop now and just take Thor on the horse. I can look at that all day.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnEnglishRiderJanuary 29, 2016 at 11:03 AM

    Love the dressage bridle on the Cowboys horse.

    ReplyDelete
  13. redheadlinsJanuary 29, 2016 at 12:22 PM

    So many laughs, and then a definite swoon.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Olivia @ DIY Horse OwnershipJanuary 29, 2016 at 1:54 PM

    I remember when the movie Spirit came out, there was some making of stuff where the artists all talked about how horses are the most difficult thing to draw/animate. Also, I really like how the horse in The Cowboy Comes Back is wearing a dressage bridle in addition to incorrect reins.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wilbur, Ellie, and EmilyJanuary 29, 2016 at 3:12 PM

    These are truly amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  16. JeanJanuary 29, 2016 at 5:09 PM

    Time to advertise my "horsey" romance novel?
    http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Cup-Jean-E-Dvorak-ebook/dp/B010OA3DIG/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1454112477&sr=8-5&keywords=The+Loving+Cup

    Very hard to get the horse looking like I wanted him to. This was a compromised result.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AoifeJanuary 30, 2016 at 12:59 AM

    Priceless

    ReplyDelete
  18. Purple MeganJanuary 30, 2016 at 9:04 AM

    omg the cowboy one... why is the horse wearing a dressage bridle...

    ReplyDelete
  19. MicaylahFebruary 2, 2016 at 9:09 AM

    SO many laughs

    ReplyDelete

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