Horse Show Numbers are (gasp!) Declining

There are a couple articles swirling around "the socials" right now about the decline in participation at USEF horse shows.

The mind, she is boggled!

Or like.

Not.

#baller

One of the posts I saw was written by a thoughtful local pro who I have a lot of respect for, so I wrote the following:

"It’s been years since I’ve taken a horse in the show ring and if I get back to it, I don’t see myself joining organizations and showing rated. The cost is so high and the competitor experience is not great. Why would I spend hundreds of dollars to wear white spandex for a couple minutes and sweat my ass off only to be told that my safe, appropriate horse isn’t as fancy as a much fancier horse?

I find my competitive outlets other places and while I enjoy my horse, I have no interest in getting back to showing."

There was a lot of discussion, but another person came back with two things:

1. Amateurs are too fixated on winning
2. Amateurs who aren't winning blame their non-fancy horse instead of their own poor riding

I'd like to discuss these responses just a little. 

1. Winning fixation-as the other poster illustrated, people run 5ks with no expectation of ever winning. Why should they expect to win at dressage? 

Let's talk about this a little. 

Running is a sport with a very low barrier of entry financially. You can do it with things you already have around the house. You can spend a lot or you can spend a little. For the sake of discussion, let's focus on the full-time worker who runs nights and weekends for fun and does 5-10 5ks a year. 

They pay $30-100 to run a race. At that race, they can wear anything they feel like running in (barefoot in shorts and a sports bra? fine. designer shoes, olympic branded gear, heart rate monitor? equally fine.) They get a tech fabric shirt, a finisher medal, post-race snacks, and frequently a meal or beverage. There's a start time and every participant can set objective time goals and work towards them. 

If their friends or family want to come watch, there is a start time and a published route. Cheering and participation is encouraged. If they have plans after, the whole day is typically ahead of them. If the family wants to participate, hey, they can.

• This person will literally never win a 5k unless they are over 70 years old. 
• This person will never appear on the "national running scene".
• This person will have the full running experience, probably including a couple of irritating injuries that will result in a few days away from work over their career

they may get a wild hair and run a half marathon too

And how does horse showing stack up? 

Riding is a sport with a very high barrier of entry. Whether you own or lease, you need a horse. The horse needs to live somewhere. You need appropriate tack and gear for the horse, a way to get the horse to and from competitions, and a bevy of memberships to be allowed at the competitions.

And this is for the nights and weekends rider who wants to do 5-10 shows a year. 

We're going to talk about recognized/rated horse shows since these are the ones squealing about diminished participation. Participants pay $150-500/day in show fees just to the show (not including coaching/stabling/hauling/grooming/schooling/etc). The participant (and the horse) have to wear approved outfits and the person in charge can literally wave around a color wheel and kick a rider out out for being a shade off. If the person wins the horse show, they get a $2-$5 ribbon with no cash value. Maybe a wine glass. If they don't win, hopefully there was a peppermint in the competitor pack that they can suck on. They can try to set individual score goals, but since judging is ultimately subjective and influenced by trends and the class around them, they may or may not meet the goals. (You ride Backyard Betty after Hopfenschnerflgard the Import? -5 for looking worse in comparison. Whoops. Too bad your ride had to be scheduled around multiple trips in the ring for the ammy with 3 imports who's competing in multiple divisions and worth way more money to the show organization than you ever will be!)  

If your friends or family want to come watch, they will have to show up to a multi-hour event that is nearly always behind schedule. They will be subjected to a complicated set of expectations for the horse show spectator and ignored at best, or (likely) mocked, hushed, and glared at for not following the intricate social mores of a rarefied upper class club. If they have plans after, too bad. The event will go all day. If they still want to participate after all that, the barrier of entry is just as high as it was for the first person.

• This person might win a class here and there because hey, participation is declining and sometimes your competition gets the flu!
• This person will never appear on the "national riding scene".
• This person will always know that they aren't a "true equestrian" because their middle class life requires they have a real job and health insurance, which precludes long hours at the barn. 
• This person runs the chance of a catastrophic injury from being around horses which could result in weeks or months away from that all-important job. 

oh hai decently fancy ribbon

TL:DR USEF shows come with very high costs and little to no reward. Running 5ks is much more competitor and spectator friendly. 

2. Non-winning amateurs on affordable horses who ride on nights and weekends and take a weekly lesson should blame their own riding instead of the fact that they got beat by a purpose-bred sport horse that cost more than their house ridden by an-equally motivated amateur who trains 5-7 days a week with the best trainer money can pay for in a sport that literally takes a lifetime to understand.

If you say there isn't a divide here, I don't know what to tell you. It's a money sport. The people who can afford top of the line horses, get more show ring experience, and ride with better pros are not less motivated than you are and yup, they're going to beat you every out. 

And they should. They literally paid for the privilege.

They're better than you (at this sport). A lot of them are great humans and they work hard at it and that's nothing to be ashamed of. 

i'm being a dik dik again

There's not a whoooooole lot of point in paying money to go get your subjectively-judged ass handed to you to the tune of your mortgage payment per weekend when you literally don't have a chance. (Unless you're short on wine glasses? Even then I feel like amazon prime might be a better shot if you want a matched set.) 

So yeah. If you want to be blamed for not having enough money to compete in a moneysport that's literally populated by the Eve Jobs, Jennifer Gates, and Georgina Bloombergs of the world, I mean, there's always USEF shows! 

Sound off, internet. Why am I wrong?

Shindig

Last weekend, I took my pilfered camera to the big recognized dressage show that's local to me.

this blog is about me and my horse but since i took these pictures, i give myself permission to use them

I love hanging out behind the camera because I can take everything in while staying completely invisible.

i am trying to keep pictures anonymous though

I watched people ride beautiful horses. 

Looked at the fancy ribbons.

Enjoyed the flow of well-ridden tests. 

And I'd be lying if I said I wanted to do that right now.

Honestly, just being there made me nauseous. 

PROTECT DOGGO FROM BOOM BOOM SKY

I'm struggling to put into words just how much I enjoy letting ZB be my safe space and my happy place. I show up and just enjoy every moment with her. 

There's no pressure. It doesn't matter if we accomplish something today or tomorrow or next year or ten years from now. 

outfits always matter

I love her bold curves and zero-shits-given attitude. My hearts melts when she whinnies her daily greeting. 

She makes every day a fun adventure.

she is her own lady

Objectively, I want to show again. 

Someday.

Not today. 

Not tomorrow. 

matching sparkle hats!

From now until then, I'll just be enjoying my best lady. 

Happy To Be Wrong

I've always watched people having fun with their horses and thought that couldn't be me because somehow I was stuck on this idea that the horse I needed to be competitive in the show arena wasn't the same horse that made me laugh back in the barn. 

dramatic spring skies

And for some reason, I was more focused on the competitiveness than the fun thing.

The whole point of Zoe is that I was really sick of that mindset.

I didn't get two shits if I ever showed again.

I just wanted to have fun.

ZB R SMOOSH DOGGO

Now I have this incredible baby mare who whinnies at me every day when I show up. 

She's game to try every day no matter what we're doing.

best evening plans

She has this beautiful attitude where she's calm and brave and sees new things as fun adventures instead of scary predators. 

Her response to changes in her home environment is to march over and stick her nose on whatever it is and smoosh it. 

her days of fitting through a people door are limited

It's funny how much she's changed my entire attitude. 

She's the most talented horse I've ever had the privilege of owning. I'm closer to my 10 year goals that I have ever been in my life. 

And they matter less to me than they ever have. 

hullo hing leg

Don't get me wrong--I still want to show. I want to get my bronze medal on a horse I trained myself. I want to run one recognized event above BN. I want to have a great outfit. Get a 70%. Know I belong. 

etc

SASS DOGGO

But right now?

It's rather terrible content for a blog, because I enjoy every damn day. I have such a good time. I'm not freaking out and struggling. There isn't really a compelling story line because honestly, everything actually is awesome. 

selfie game even on point

I'm really excited about the lessons we're taking right now because each glimpse at the potential ZB has makes me even more excited for our competitive future together. 

d'awww

But I'd be lying if I said that was the thing I enjoyed most about her.

It's the every day laughs in the barn that make this entire relationship worthwhile.

Trouble in Paradise

Lest you think I've reached this new, happy zen status and everything is peachy, well, it's not. 

Last week, I had a lesson. In true Alyssa fashion, Alyssa took gorgeous pictures of it and you'd never guess that any attempt to turn right had us flailing sideways into the fence. That was not awesome. Then I showed up on Thursday (admittedly in the middle of a giant storm) and C-rage wouldn't let him touch him in his stall.

Because wild mustang.

pictured: not Thursday

I snapped. I'm not proud of it, but there is only so much a person can take and I've been hanging out dangerously close to that line lately. 

And by "snapped", I mean I texted a few friends that I was selling his stupid bay ass. And had a full-on meltdown at the barn. And my barn friends were like "whoa um here try riding some other horses". 

i steal her

So I did, over the next few days. The lovely painty mare in the picture above is freaking perfect. Tries so hard. Super well trained. Admittedly, her owner has put years and years into getting her that way and has the patience of an absolute saint.

And then another friend let me play with an OTTB she has for sale. He's a cute mover and a nice horse and a little needy and unsure of new people and yeah, I realized all my years with C have done a lot to make him the way he is (easy on the ground) and that yeah, the asshole thing is where it's at for me (dammit). 

oh and this one year progress hot kinda blew my mind

One thing that has been very upsetting for me is realizing that showing Courage doesn't even sound fun to me right now. But showing last year was pretty traumatic and abruptly cut short and never resolved and now I'm not in a good place physically, so yeah. A show would be overwhelming. 

But you know what's not overwhelming? 

A field trip to a friend's house.

So we did that. And you know what? Courage was great. I felt like steamed poo so I didn't ride, but I could have. Courage was brave and uncomplicated and yeah, he was a little up, but he settled and put in some quality work on the lunge and then he just hung out and looked around calmly while our friend rode. 

He wasn't obnoxious or insecure or annoying. He got on and off the trailer with no fuss. He stood tied like a champion.

And really. If I'm thinking clearly, I know that Courage's big tell for pain is that he quits turning right. And I know that he really does best with monthly body work and I know that I've kinda skimped on that lately because I don't think he's working that hard, but since it's his body, I guess he gets to make that call. 

consider it made

His body work is scheduled. I'm not riding him, not even to loose-rein-toodle, until after that. I'm actively pursuing other horses to ride. I need some time to breathe and I need to not be a jerk to my horse, especially since I'm the one who got him in to this situation. It is my responsibility to make it right. 

After all, it takes a special horse to rock the hell out of this browband. And that matters to me.

The Great Pet Detective

OR

"If You Have Good Instincts, Trust Them"

OR

"How I Got My Horse Back"

I haven't said a whole lot about it on here I don't think and you may or may not have picked it up from social media, but Courage has been Terrible. Yes capitialized. I'd go all caps too, but y'all might just think I was being dramatic when it's him.

Regardless. Despite everything about his life being tailored to suit him, Courage lately is the worst Courage has ever been and I'm including times like when he reared and knocked Lindsey down and got loose at a trail head or any and all of his show disasters or even the dramatic bolting y'all are getting a little too used to.

I kinda want a silhouette of this as my blog logo 

I mean. I had a lesson last Tuesday that Alyssa came out to document. Last time she came out, he was so naughty that my trainer told me to get off and lunge "lest ye die". Maybe not quite her words. Anyways, this time was sort of better--I lunged first and C was a ball of anxiety but not bolt-y or naughty.

Well. Not until I got on, at which point trotting in a straight line prompted a flail into the fence. We finished with some walking, but he was getting more and more amped and tense and nothing we could do would get through to him.

Alyssa used her voodoo arts to make us look good, which we were not

I canceled his trainer ride for later in the week because there was no goddamn point. I was getting lots of recommendations from lots of people for draw reins and cowboys and "just kick him through it", but look. I'm an ammy. I like being an ammy. I'm not interested in riding through that sort of bullshit and frankly, even if I can (maybe), I know it will pile on so much baggage that I'll have an even harder time being calm and straightforward with him.

pass. no thank you.

And while cowboys are DEFINITELY on the table, I also know that once I go down that path, I can't undo it and Courage is really, really sensitive and yeah... I just don't want to cause more problems than I would solve. And frankly, I'm a little bit appalled how many educated, progressive-type people are inclined to say "just rough him up a little" in regards to a problem I'm having trouble solving. I guess yay living in the west?

Anyways. It was completely terrible.

His magical bodywork lady came out and brought his beloved magnawave thingy. Long story short, it took her multiple sessions with the magnawave to even let her tough him, but when she got to the bottom of it, he had a pinched nerve in the base of his neck that was excruciatingly painful. She's pretty sure he's ok now, but said he might need another session depending.

And see, I like patterns. I like things to make sense. I'm willing to accept a hearty dose of "that's horses" most of the time, but I like to have an inciting incident. The little piece of information that makes it all make fit together.

I have a pretty good read on Courage most of the time. I know that while he's an asshole, he also likes me and generally goes well for me. I think he's quite good at dressage and he likes this barn and this trainer and it's weird that it all went to shit. Super weird.

My trainer has pointed out more than once that this all started after our little open show. He was fine, and then he wasn't. Lots of people have tried to tell me it was the atmosphere or the arena or that it was too much too soon or the other horses scared him, but here's the thing. He gave no shits about the atmosphere or the arena. He was FINE with the other horses. I honestly think he liked them. Remember, he freaking WON his first class out there.

killin' it

And then it got terrible fast.

every canter.

I remember that show so well--the w/t class was FABULOUS. I had every expectation of the next class being the same way, but I remember coming towards the corners of the arena by the mirror and the announcer calling for a canter. I asked for it, and Courage bolted SO HARD and out of nowhere. I wasn't tense or mad or expecting it and there was zero warning. Which is weird. My drama queen loves to bluster and make threats. 

And see, the day before the show, I had one of my best rides ever on him. My friend from out of town was visiting and Courage was freaking perfect. Except. I mean, I thought it was weird on the lunge line because he didn't really want to move forward and held himself in this little frame. 

fanceh

But it was hard to be mad because he took a contact and looked kickass. 

Admittedly, the day before that, I'd tried to school for the show and I had to get off because his canter was solid dolphin leaping and I couldn't get him to level out. 

jump jump C

But he'd looked ok on the lunge? 

And if you scroll further back, earlier in the week, he looked like this and I was SO PROUD of him and so excited for us.:

the base of his neck tho omg

I remember riding in this lesson and being SO THRILLED that he was so rideable and I was actually getting to work on me instead of him. 

So clearly he was fine then. But what changed? What made him go from brilliant to dolphin leaping canter, then brilliant, then horrific and then spiraling downward? 

Cough. 

That's when I remembered. 

The farrier. See, good horsemanship tells us that wisdom is to pull shoes and let horses be horses for a while in the winter. My last farrier and I tried that with Courage a couple times and found out 100% that is a TERRIBLE idea for him. His feet fall apart, he gets crippled, he doesn't get better. The horse needs shoes. So the farrier and I made a pact to NEVER do that again.

But then that farrier moved away and I got a new farrier who's great, but who doesn't have the history with C. So when I get all woo woo hippie status on him and go "maybe we should pull his hind shoes for a cycle", he said "sure" instead of straight up bitch slapping me and screaming WTF NO ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE. 

haha maybe?

So we pulled his hind shoes. Then I tried to ride him and while he was sound, he was short strided at the walk and trot, and was only capable of dolphin leaping at the canter. I rode the next day and he was good, but unwilling to push forward off his hind end. Think holding his body in a frame to compensate for ouchy feet. But good, so I didn't overthink it.

Then he was ok at the show until I asked him to lift his withers and canter, and I think by then the damage was done. He tried to do it, but he'd pinched the nerve by compensating for his feet. He was as surprised as I was and we bolted sideways. Repeatedly.

Back at home, Trainer said he felt ouchy and stiff, but she couldn't pin it on a specific leg, so she did a course of bute. I had a family emergency and wasn't really at the barn for a couple weeks.

Once I was back, we started asking him to work harder and Courage got worse quickly. I thought he was naughty.

And the whole time, he was screaming at me that he hurt. 

A barn friend kept pointing out that when C is unrideable, it's usually pain and I kept telling her "but it's never presented like this before", which it hadn't. Usually he quits turning right, not just freaks out and blows forward. 

But you know. Never before have I pulled only his hind shoes and so the pain was different this time. 

You guys.

I swear.

This horse.

the hat detective

The things I learn from him aren't always fun, but the skills he's teaching me apply so many other places. Things like learning to trust my instincts even when everyone tells me differently or taking the long view when the present is crappy. Standing up for myself and my belief even when it's hard.

And always obsessively documenting everything so you can look back at it later and see the larger patterns.

Oh, and great outfits make everything better. 

The Art of Weightlifting

Courage is probably the most challenging horse I've ever owned, and that includes the bitch mare that tried to kill me on the regular. I mean, he only has one move, but she only had one motive. He flails. She would rear, buck, bolt, leap, stop or go as it suited her in her quest to be rid of me. Courage is never trying to get rid of me, but that actually makes him a lot harder to deal with.

Because I'm not (always) the problem.

It's not "if I ride better" or "if I don't piss him off" or any number of easily fixable things with Courage and it rarely has been. If I put a pro on the mare, she quit all the shenanigans and minded her manners.

But not Courage.

When Courage flails, it's not because he wants me off now or even usually because I did something wrong. He flails to protect himself.

Almost 100% of the time, it's because he's in a situation that overwhelms him and he doesn't understand and his only defense mechanism is to leave, so he has a huge physical reaction. If you've been around Courage, you've seen it. It's actually quite dramatic.

And when he has these huge physical fear-based reactions, I have to 100% keep myself from reacting to him. He's not doing it to be naughty. He's doing it to survive.

And that's hard to deal with.

It's taken a long time to suss out with him because it LOOKS like naughty behavior and people like to treat it that way. But it's not and if you punish him, you scare him and that makes it even worse.

The other approach people like to use is overloading--just hit the the trigger over and over and over until it's not a trigger any more. But like. That works if you're a rational human being with a moderate trigger that isn't life threatening and you can sit there and say "totes cool, not actually going to die here", but not so well on a non-rational prey animal with years and years of baggage and trust issues.

Don't get me wrong here--I really and truly do not believe Courage was ever abused. I don't. I think he has had lots of good handling, which is why I think I can reverse this at all. Had anyone ever laid a hand on this horse, I don't think he could come back.

He's just deeply intelligent and highly sensitive and when he doesn't understand, he's afraid.

and has great outfits, but who's counting?

It is changing, very, very slowly. At home, we almost never have an incident with him any more. He's started to trust me and he's learning to trust my trainer in the saddle, and when he trusts his person, he's a thousand times braver.

So at the show, I had a horse that trusted himself and trusted me enough to be successful at the walk and trot.

But canter is hard for him--it's a gait he's spent a lot of time in for his previous life and that means I have years of muscle memory to retrain. So when we got to canter, it was a bridge too far and he left to protect himself. The fact that he did come back to me in the walk and trot tells me that he's still mentally with me, when he can be.

I'm a highly analytical person, so I can sit here and explain to you my plan of action--build more trust and more strength and more muscle memory at home and prep him better. Overloading for the sake of overloading breaks down his trust rather than builds it, so I need to be sensitive to his mind each day and only work within parameters he's comfortable with until he's ready to move forward again. I can tell you that a running martingale would shut down his expressions sooner rather than just limiting their scope, but he also has a lot of history with them and not only does he know how to brace on them, but they also tell him to run.

But see, in addition to being a highly analytical person, I'm also deeply emotionally invested in this situation. It takes two to tango if you will, and Courage is the one I'm tangoing with. Rationally, I can tell you that if show success was my motivator, this isn't the horse for me. But I like this horse and I'm willing to work with him.

And really--despite all the high drama theatrics, Courage honestly doesn't scare me. It's more and "aw shit here we go again" sort of thing. That's the nice thing about him only having one move; I know I can ride it and I know we'll survive. It's not my favorite thing ever, but I'm far more worried about running up on another horse and scaring it than I am about anything that might happen to me in the saddle.

I really think the part that's the hardest to deal with is accepting other people's reactions without internalizing them.

See, in order to get Courage past this, I have to 1) not punish when he appears to misbehave 2) not bring up the issue on days he can't handle it and 3) accept and encourage even when he tries and fails. If you've read this post, you're nodding along with me. A trust and balance issue, not a behavior issue.

But if you haven't read this post and you see my horse go leaping and bolting across an arena, then see me drop the reins, pat him, and not readdress the problem, you probably think I'm a shitty incompetent adult ammy rider with sparkles in my eyes and one of those maddeningly stupid imaginary "majikal" connections with ponykins that ruins horse after horse.

You respond to me in kind--you lecture me on how to handle my horse, you make an example of your horse, or you even give well-intentioned, sound, and logical training advice THAT TRUST ME I HAVE TRIED, and the net result is that everyone I talk to thinks they know better than I do how to train my particular horse, who again, is anything but easy.

And just as I can analyze and understand Courage, I can also analyze and understand the motivations of well-intentioned help. I get it, I really do. I'm sure I've been that person. I know they don't mean to sound like they're attacking me (usually), but that's how it comes across. It takes a really strong person to take that sort of criticism every day from every corner, know that no matter how it's delivered, it's still wrong, believe in my own methods, and continue to treat my horse in a way that encourages his trust instead tears it down.

If there's one thing I'm learning from this horse, it's strength of character.

It's not always fun. It's never easy. It's definitely getting worse before it gets better. I don't know if there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but I know we need each other right now.