A Philosophy of Failing

After watching an equine professional light into a person for taking less-than-ideal photos of a normal situation, I've been thinking about my own fail photos.

no i cannot tell you what is happening here

I mean, we all know I'm not a pro of any sort and the only horse I train is my own, so I have no vested interest in a perfectly curated online presence for any reason other than my own vanity. Plus, if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, I'd venture you have no illusions of grandeur regarding my own riding.

I fail. Frequently. Publicly. Hilariously.

and i stayed on even

I mean, I love those pictures that make me look like I know my shit and have a handle on things, but we all know it's not a normal state of affairs around here.

So to me, part of being honest on my blog is being honest about what the day-to-day looks like. It's messy. It's hard. It's also funny. I'd be lying to you if I said every ride was great and I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't laugh my ass off at the pictures I've ended up with.

it's never not funny

 I'm not perfect. Courage isn't perfect.

he's also not an xc horse

The ability to laugh at the genuinely funny things along the way makes it all worthwhile.

If' you're insecure professional enough that you only want perfect shots of yourself and your horse online, hey, more power to you. My income isn't built around my ability to look good on a horse (thank the maker!) so to me, it's immaterial. I fail. I laugh. I learn. I keep on trying.

indoors or outdoors!

What are your thoughts on fail photos?

Learning Lessons: The Sunbeam Solution

In the winter, I ride inside most of the time. Our indoor is enclosed with limited-to-no natural light. The only time we have real light in there is IF it's clear outside AT sunset AND the sun is at the right angle, it slants through the back door of some of the adjoining stalls and makes sunbeams in the arena dirt.

They only last thirty to sixty minutes at best and because of the nature of the solar system, they are constantly (albeit slowly) moving. 

And they are TERRIFYING.

Don't believe me? Ask Courage. 

artistic rendering. not actual events.

Well, ask him six weeks ago. 

Because around that time, we were riding with one of our awesome barn buddies on her super awesome horse and C was like "OMFG ALERT ALERT LASER EYES FROM SPACE" but he's also a self-styled Don Juan/Rico Suave who hates to lose his cool in front of ladies he thinks he might have a chance with (hint: he doesn't. mare hates him). 

So when mare buddy kept trooping right through the sunbeams, so did Courage. By the end of an hour of walking and chatting, around and around, going through sunbeams HUNDREDS of times, Courage actually thought they were fine. (And yes, like you always suspected, Courage and I frequently don't work very hard). 

at all

After that ride, Alyssa came out to visit and take some pictures and wouldn't you know, Courage trotted through sunbeams like they ain't no thang. 

also pretending eq not a thing apparently

But here's the funny thing: I was also pretending the sunbeams were not a thing because I wanted good pictures. 

We tried to repeat the performance later, but Courage was getting progressively more weird about the DEMON BEAMS until I realized something. 

I was staring at them. HARD.

What would happen if I pretended they weren't there and just went about my ride? 

BOOM. I'm not looking, he's not looking. Now that he understood they weren't scary, he just wanted to see if he could talk me in to spooking at sunbeams instead of using his booty and going to work. 

And see, here's the complicated part of Courage: at first, he WAS legitimately freaked out by the strange beams. He's a confident and intelligent horse and NO ONE can tell him something is safe when he doesn't know if it is. Honestly, my life would be so much easier if this horse was a little more insecure and he just listened when I was like "srsly 4 real nbd p0nee". But no.  

He really did need to understand the problem and have his mare friend show him it was ok. 

Until we reached that phase, it did not matter AT ALL if I ignored it, told him he was safe, whatever. He has to understand things for himself. 

Enter mirrors. 

so attractive

When we got the big mirrors put up on the side wall this winter, I was very careful to introduce them to Courage at his speed. As prey animals (especially as prey animals in claustrophobic dark indoors), horses are very sensitive to changes in their environment. Also, I'm really not sure how well a horse can conceptualize what a mirror does and how much is just desensitization and getting used to mirrors. 

I mean, if horses understood mirrors, then you couldn't put them in their stalls to keep them company, right? 

he sure does like looking at himself

Anyways. I let Courage see the mirror. I let him run around. I lunged/rode in front of it. 

And EVERY SINGLE TIME we went by that mirror in the saddle, whether it was ambling on a loose rein or trotting or cantering or doing ground work or ANYTHING, Courage would stare in it. Hard.

what was he seeing?

 I was starting to lose patience with it. I mean. He'd barely even look at it other than the requisite "hey handsome" when I turned him loose in the indoor. He took no notice of it whatsoever when I lunged him.

And I could watch him make googly eyes at himself every.single.time. we rode by the stupid thing because I was staring in it to see how pretty we looked.

Hold the phone.

Oops. Again.

So uh. Guess who is actually totally 100% FINE about the mirrors as long as I don't gawk at them like a stupid tourist?

Courage. Courage is not afraid of mirrors.

 It's definitely a journey with this horse, that is for sure. He's pushing the limits of my knowledge, training, and horsemanship abilities. He's forcing me to think creatively, be flexible, and learn to laugh (more) at our biggest failures.

Basically, I see his board payment as tuition to the school of Important Life Lessons each and every month.

Building Confidence

It was super cold yesterday, so I layered up and trekked out to the barn. I was the only person there, which has one really obvious ramification: jumping day! I really wanted to do dressage, but at the same time, I don't want to drill Izzy and make her cranky. This was a nice compromise.

I set a series of four elevated trot poles and then three trot poles leading up to a 18" crossrail. I know, tiny and unimpressive, but bear in mind that our big problems are: 1) my confidence and 2) my position.

We started out by working on maintaining forward energy in all three gaits. We did some trot/halts, with me trying to keep my upper body up and leg on, so that Izzy would halt without collapsing on her forehand. Then, we did some (jumper) walk/canters. They certainly weren't dressage quality, but I need Izzy to understand that she is to go when I say go. We focused on stayed balanced and forward through the downward transitions just like we'll need to on course.

Then we moved on to the hard stuff: trot poles! Ha, I know. It's getting better, though. Izzy does best when I don't interfere with her, so I focused on quietly moving up to two point about a stride before the poles, maintaining my position over them, and then quietly coming back. It's a work in progress for sure. I have non-ideal riding conformation (long torso, shortish legs), so two point is challenging to do and remain balanced in.

Then we headed in to the crossrail. I'm not sure I've ever set something like that before, but Izzy the Wonderhorse wasn't the tiniest bit phased. She trotted right in and then hopped out. Really, I think next time we jump I'm going to set a 2'ish vertical--Izzy likes to jump and the constant crossrails are boring her.

We had our share of issues, which is to say, I did my best to screw things up and Izzy just kept going around. Love that mare! I tried to keep my leg on, ride my turn, come in straight, stay straight, push my hands forward over the jump (SO FREAKING HARD) and then stay on a straight line afterwards. We did a couple of halts after the jump to keep Izzy from just motorcycling around the corner.

The most exciting thing we accomplished was this: a rollback turn. Not in the western sense--that would have been too exciting--but turning left off the rail to the jump was less than a 10m circle. I kept the contact steady and my body up and wouldn't you know, Izzy did the same and there was no loss of balance. WIN!!

So... my last couple of posts have been straight training journal, which maybe isn't the most interesting thing in the world to read. I'll try to have something cooler next time I update. Not sure what.

An Actual Jump!

I didn't get to ride yesterday, but I'll be back out today (I hope). On Wednesday, I decided that we were going to do it. That's right folks: I set an eensy-weensy crossrail to go along with my trot poles.

My reasoning was this: Izzy is a fabulous jumper who has not seen a jump since November. The only thing that's really holding her/us back is my riding and confidence issues. I've decided that my confidence issues come from the fact that I ride poorly over jumps, so I am justly afraid. In order to combat that fear, I need to set non-threatening-looking jumps that don't scare me and then practice over them ad naseum until I can get my position right and feel more secure.

Hence, the tiny crossrail.

We went back and forth over a set of trot poles until I could hold my balance and my leg. Then we established a nice pace, found a line and trotted towards the jump. I remembered to push my hands forward, forgot to keep my leg on, and Izzy tripped over it. Mostly, I wasn't supporting her and she didn't think it was worth the effort. We went back and forth over it. The biggest problem was just that it was so small that she didn't actually have to jump, so I would try to get ready and then she'd just take a step.

Oh well. Despite the under-whelmingness of it all, I felt a little more comfortable at the end of the ride--it wasn't a real "jump", but we were both ok with it. Alright, I'll be honest: Izzy was probably pretty bored.

I did notice one interesting thing, though. Izzy gets really distracted when we do dressage in the indoor. I am not to the point of demanding enough of her that she has to focus, so about half the time, her ears are anything but attentive. Frustrating, but we're working on it. As soon as there were poles and jumps in the arena, I had her full attention. She was definitely more engaged in her job and quite happy with the obstacles. YAY!!

And... no pictures.

ETA: I was so hoping to do a final jumping lesson this weekend, before our jumping trainer leaves for AZ for the rest of the winter. OF COURSE this is the weekend my poor little car decides to need brakes. Oh well.

Another Excellent Day

My friend who usually rides with us on Tuesdays and Thursdays had a pretty busy day yesterday, so she wasn't able to come out and ride. Still, I had warm new socks and a new jacket ($4.50 at the Idaho Youth Ranch. Score!!) I headed out, despite the fact that yet again, it hasn't been above freezing in a week. Aside from being cold, it was a pretty day. The sun was shining and there weren't any clouds.

Izzy was happy to see me and even happier to try the new peppermint flavored treats I got her. I think her favorites are still the berry kind, though. She'll actually suck on those ones. Funny mare.

Anyways, we had to brave the bubble of doom by ourselves, as Cathy was tied up helping the farrier trim the babies. She did say she'd probably come over later to ride one of the neighbor's horses. After tacking Izzy up, I bravely led her to the road to walk over to the arena. This has become a part of the routine for her, so she wasn't too worked up about leaving her friends behind. That's what I love about nasty mares; they don't really like other horses to begin with, so it's not a big deal if the other horses don't go with them.

We made it to the doors of the doom bubble, and I had to muster up a little more courage. I had to convince Izzy that she was going to go in there with me, unassisted. We didn't have plan B. There was no one around to help if she decided she didn't want to go. I led her up, and the first try, I got her to stick her nose inside the claustrophobic box. Then we circled around and tried again. The second try, she got her front feet in, too. I reached outside the door and trapped her flank with my whip, and she walked right in. Hurray!!

I think it helped that it was so light outside; it's a little less claustrophobic when we can actually see. Once inside, I lunged her. It was nice that we were alone, because I just gave her as much line as she wanted, and she galloped and bucked and worked off all that energy she's accumulating from not getting to run around much in the crappy weather. After watching her for a while, I was pretty glad that Cathy was cming over to join us. I really didn't want to get on Izzy by myself, shielded from everyone else's view, especially when she's that rambunctious.

Once Cathy arrived, I got on, and off we went. Izzy was really, really good. She used to be scared of the end of the arena by the door, but that was her safe side today. We did more walk trot transitions, and she had one big spook at a car driving by too fast. She settled down ok after that, and I was quite pleased with her. She's so good, really. She bucked like a maniac on the lunge line, but didn't even try it under saddle. <3

I was working on keeping my hands soft, which I think I did fairly well, but I realized that I'm keeping my body fairly rigid, I think partly in reaction to being nervous about the indoor, and partly because I'm just plain out of practice. I'll try to work on that more now that I'm aware of it, and we're supposed to have a lesson on Thursday morning. Wish us luck!

Cold, Foggy Day

I'm still buried in a heap of homework, but I had to run out to the barn this morning to hold Izzy so she could have her feet done. She's still happy and barefoot with lovely feet.

While out there, I talked to two different horse people whose opinions I value about Izzy's contentiousness lately. I literally cannot walk away from her when she's tied up and there's another horse around. She will lunge at and attack them. She's pretty good about not doing it under saddle, but I'm careful not to get too close to anyone.

Both of them pointed to it as an example of insecurity on Izzy's side. She is in some way incapacitated and feels threatened by the other horse, so she attacks in order to gain safety. One of the people who mentioned this was the farrier/trimmer. She was working on Izzy in the pasture, so Izzy could eat breakfast while having her feet done. Her pasture mate tried to approach and Izzy pinned her ears. Before the situation went any farther, Toni (the trimmer) approached the other horse with an aggressive posture and told her to go away. She did,Izzy relaxed, and all went well.

I'm intrigued. I'm not one who usually speaks up for myself on other people's property. If Izzy pinned her ears at another horse while I was leading her, I'd be more inclined to discipline Izzy than approach the other horse because I feel the other horse isn't mine to control. This method makes sense, however. My only trouble is trying to figure out how to make Izzy comfortable at the hitching post so we can circumvent her lunging at other horses. Any ideas?