Trials of the Somewhat-Difficult Horse

Before moving to our current ammy-focused, mostly-dressage barn, I never had to wonder about what to do with my horse when I was out of town. I had lots of young, brave, riding friends who liked saddle time, and I'd just ask them to pop on once or twice.

and this was after he stood on his back legs and waved at the sky

crossfit legs mean go!

But now ammy-focused dressage-barn, which is great. We fit in well. We're learning and advancing and that is great.

But.

Courage is not always the easiest horse per se. While I was out of town recently, I wanted him to get out of his stall for a bit. I was thinking about which fellow boarder to ask for help, but it kept going like this in my head:

"heya would you plz lunge my horse? sometimes he kicks the walls and squeals and leaps and tries to rip your arms out in between standing on his hind legs and pawing the sky"

"he's way better to ride than to lunge...."

"and yeah you've seen what he does under saddle, sooooo nevermind..."

He's really the sort of horse you have to pay people to handle unless you have a bunch of young eventer friends. Whoops.

6 West Coast Facts for East Coast Riders

For your convenience, I include a map.

I was reading this article on Eventing Nation yesterday, and one quote in particular struck me as so funny that I sent it to local friends to share the laugh. Here's the quote about a rising young pro:

"Beau is now renting stalls at Harry Smith’s Homestead Farms in Harrisburg, due west of all the action out in Unionville but at a significantly lower price due to the more affordable cost of living in the southcentral part of the state. And with a big chunk of the state’s eventing professionals clustered in Unionville, he’s also one of the only actively competing pros in the Harrisburg area."

Chortle.

That's right, folks--1 hour and 42 minutes counts as some sort of bold career move to a remote and far off place.

Now, no disrespect intended to the pro in question--I'm sure he's a perfectly great guy who turns mules into unicorns, but c'mon west coasties. You have to admit you're laughing at least as hard as I am.

TWO HOURS? Since when did that count as "far away"? That's borderline "stay in my own house and skip the camping/hotel at a show" territory.

But I digress.

Instead, here are some fun facts about equine sports on the west coast that are completely lost on those of you from the other side of our wold.

actual road sign

1. Stuff is far apart. Like, way. I live in Idaho. There is one recognized event in this state. It is farther away from me than several that are out of state. Let me explain: it is an 8 hour drive away. EIGHT. I don't know how to emphasize that. It's farther than the closest event, which is a cushy 6 hours down the road in Utah.

Distance is relative. I think of fellow blogger Pony Express as being relatively close and I suspect we'll meet up eventually.

OH YEAH SHE LIVES 9 HOURS AWAY.

AND THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY CLOSE.

pretty much

2. Because stuff is far apart, actually competing is WICKED EXPENSIVE. Think about it. Any time one of us wants to show, you load up the ponies and ALL YOUR SHIT, pay for 8+ hours of diesel, and then arrive. Now you either have to camp (we'll get to this later) or pay for a hotel. You either have to be a kickass food packer or eat out (or starve, which is what I do). It's not like you can scoot off for a little combined test. Tack a minimum of 12 and really more like 20 hours on to whatever time you were planning on showing.

Now can you do all that, drive through the night, and still make it to work on Monday? More than once a year?

Rebecca Farm photo by Redheadlins

3. Flora and fauna is not what you're expecting. For example, lots of event horses in the west compete very successfully barefoot.

Why?

Because deserts, yo. Expect lots of scrub brush, sandy soil, and OH YEAH NO SHADE EVER. Toss in desert-level temps (95-110 in the summer), plan on absolutely zero shade and then tell me you're camping.

I always see pictures of East Coast horses galloping through trees on slick looking grass and think "no wonder they use studs". I mean, we certainly do, but yeah, not as big a deal most places.

rig

4. Rig size and type are totally different. Think about it--the 4 horse head to head is pretty much the holy grail of the East Coast rig. (Are they called rigs out there? I dunno.) I mean, they're convenient to load, safer for horses, very roomy, practically a mobile cross ties unit and a fantastic show home base.

I have seen precisely one of those out here and it is used primarily as a "run around town" trailer by a local trainer.

Why?

OH YEAH THEY'RE FREAKING HUGE. Which like. If 2 hours is a "long" drive for you, who cares? But when you're going 17 hours one way TO CAMP AT A 100 DEGREE show, you need living quarters. You need the smallest rig you can manage so the fuel doesn't completely bankrupt you. You need to stuff your trailer to the gills with friends' horses (gas split!) and picnic lunches and really, the 4 horse h2h doesn't come out well in this battle.

Nope.

might be better off on horseback

5. Travel is... sketchy. And none of that even includes the fact that what passes as a "road" out here is frequently described as a "goat trail" by green horns. Not kidding. Things that are marked on maps can be (with no written warning) a single-track dirt road with a cliff on one side and drop off on the other with no guard rail and no turn around for miles.

So yeah, don't trust that gps too much unless you want to die. Not even kidding. It's much more of a "survival of the fittest" out here.

photo via Cottonwood Ranch

6. We laugh at your hills. 

Heartily. They don't even count. Plz don't call them mountains or we will laugh harder.

Ok west coasties. What did I miss?