Decade in Review

So uh I've been blogging a really long time and even though I wrote less posts this year than I used to write in a month, blogging still brought some of the greatest people into my life. Because of those people, I present: the decade in review, sprinklerbandits edition.

Here goes:

2010 this looks... way more pleasant than it was

In 2010, I was newly back into riding as an adult amateur. I was fresh out of college and took on a (black 6 year old) spoiled warmblood mare as a project. The goal was eventing, so we did a little of everything.

2011 yeaaaaaah i was completely terrified in this picture

2011 brought lessons and a major wreck and broken bones and moving in with a trainer and learning that my horse was all wrong for me and then meeting the horse that was so, so right for me.

2012 with this stud

In 2012, everything came together for a few glorious moments. I was in love with a giant red horse and we showed and lessoned and trail rode and played and I'll always remember that time as one of the best ever. <3

2013 this photo always makes me laugh

2013 brought an opportunity to work on the racetrack and meet new (bay) faces. Of course one of those faces came home with me.

2014 this one time we looked competent haha

It's weird to me that 2014 was five years ago. I quit my job at the barn (s), started being an adult with a career, lost my beloved Cunafish, and had some high highs and low lows with Courage.

2015 because Alyssa is the actual best

In 2015, I was determined to make showing happen. We went to every. single. show. at the lowest level available and I won this giant ribbon that I'm still proud of, haha. Good friends and fun adventures and yeaaaaah apparently you can get eliminated by refusals in a ground poles class. Now you know.

2016 football and dressage 

By 2016, I finally figured out that I should quit jumping C. Then I quit a lot more things. This picture is probably his best dressage moment ever and he looks so damn sexy and he so wasn't happy and I wasn't happy and things were about to fall apart real hard.

2017 a steampunk princess

Basically the only thing that went right in 2017 was getting a baby percheron mare that wasn't even started under saddle. Courage found an incredible new home, I made career changes, and Alyssa took some of my favorite photos of all time.

2018 when one photo is your whole year

2018 accelerated the changes that had been rumbling. My personal life fell apart while my professional life took off and my constant was my curvy baby mare. I took about 4 lessons and never went to a horse show.

2019 a whole new perspective

I spent most of 2019 getting on my feet and my beloved ZB had to take a back seat while I sorted things out.

I'm rolling in to 2020 with a black 6 year old mare and a whole new perspective on life, the universe, and everything, haha. I still have a someday goal of a bronze medal, a shorter-term goal of organizing a horse-soccer team at my barn, and an every-day goal of becoming a better human and horseman in whatever direction we go.

I wouldn't hold your breath for horse show domination this year, but maybe we'll take some lessons and get back on the bus.

Courage: The Aftermath

I saw Courage the other day.

creeper status

Teresa was here and we drove past his owner's place. He was out in the field with a buddy. He was as stunning as ever.

The thing that struck me the most was his topline.

on-track thoroughbred

3 years post-track thoroughbred

Courage was short coupled and upright and always SO TIGHT through his neck and back. I became the subject matter expect on suppling the anxious horse who held tension right in front of his withers. We did dressage exercises and trail exercises. I learned to use poles and terrain and lateral work and all kinds of things to help him. 

I did everything I knew how to do. I used all my resources to find new ways to help him. 

He built a fantastic neck for a thoroughbred and had a lot of cool buttons, but he was always .05 seconds away from an up-periscope and hard spin/bolt.

you've all seen enough photos of that so let's look at this adorable smoosh instead

So the other day, I saw Courage for the first time in two years. He's a trail horse now--he'll never have to go in a frame and be under pressure again. He spends most of his days out in a big, grassy pasture.

And after two years, that tension is gone.

He looked like a horse.

Loose.

Comfortable.

yup we're back to zb pictures

It was a strangely harmonious moment for me--not just because a horse I cared about for so long is absolutely thriving, but because of what it meant.

I'm a classic overachiever and so much of the past couple years for me has been learning to let go and accept what happens, even if it's messy.

definitely messy

Letting go of Courage felt like giving up in so many ways.

Both of us are in a better place now because of it.

We were never going to get there and pushing and struggling and training and drilling and trying.

I let him go.

A horse that suited me better came my way.

A series of dominos cascaded that I never could have planned.

Sometimes I ask myself if I fought too hard and tried for too long. If asking that was fair to him. If I should have let go sooner. If I shouldn't have posted those fail photos. If there was something else that would have just made it work. If someone else could have done it better.

If I did him a disservice.

I'll never know.

I know that some people try that hard and go that far and they succeed. I know some horses come back from the brink. They grow into lovely performance horses and their people are applauded for what they accomplished.

But I also know that sometimes they don't. Sometimes the struggle isn't worth it. Sometimes the mountain wasn't meant to be overcome. Sometimes the pasture in the valley really is the destination.

Sometimes, failing is the best thing you can do for both of you.

I failed.

Because of that failure, Courage looks better than he ever has. He's living his best life now and he's free to be the horse I always believed he could be.

Because I failed, I spend my time with the smooshiest baby horse who I absolutely adore. We jump and we trail ride and we toodle and we dressage and we play barbies and we laugh.

I'll never be the person I was before Courage. 

I'll never be able to thank him enough for what he taught me.

hellomylivia hop: What I Didn't Know I Didn't Know

Olivia started this with one of the coolest blog posts I've read in a while and then Liz pitched in and now I want to give it a go. Here's what I would tell myself as a brand new adult amateur horse owner who just got handed the lead rope to the hellmare and all the things that followed:

aw look how i'm not on her

1) You have no idea what you're getting in to.

I rode as a kid, on lesson horses and half leases here and there. I worked hard and cleaned stalls and did 4H and never had the newest, nicest, or best, but I read everything I could get my hands on, spent every moment I could get at the barn, rode anything anyone would let me, and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

best old man horse

2) You have no idea how much you need this.

Horses and horse people have been a driving force for good in my life on so many levels. The people I've met and connections I've made have shaped the life I lead today in more ways than I can count. No matter what was going on in the rest of my life, I was always surrounded by passionate, intelligent, driven women who became role models to me whether they knew it or not.

possibly our best jump lesson ever

3) Even your lowest moments will shape you in positive ways.

When I had my wreck on the hellmare and was too afraid to keep trying but too stupid to quit, I found a community of people to ask hard questions and help me find perspective. When I lost Cuna, I was surrounded by once in a lifetime friends who carried me through dark times I couldn't handle alone. When I had to let go of Courage, I was again among incredible people who helped both of us find a resolution.

and this is how you jump a bank with 3 broken bones
which is apparently a thing i can do

4) The horses are pretty great too.

Every one of them has something to show me and learning to listen and communicate, shape behavior and respond, has been transformative in my life. To me, it's not about the shows and the ribbons and the outfits. Learning to connect and trust another living being is a truly amazing experience and to me it makes the blood, sweat, tears, and dollars all worth it so many times over.

I love how horses can continue to evolve with us. My goals and approach now are completely different than they used to be. I'm more relaxed and more focused. I never expected to be where I am today, but now that I'm here, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Here's to the horses that made it possible.

Vote for Your Favorite ZB Bridle

Here is a fact that often surprises people about me: as much as I love having ALL THE TOYS for ZB to play with, I actually super respect people who can have just one bridle and be happy with it. 

R WANT NAP INSTEAD OF CHOICES

Sometimes I even pretend like I could be one of those people and consolidate (aka bring my spares home to stick in the bridle bag), but that generally lasts like an hour, because I find things I forget I had when I put things away so then those things go to the barn and it sort of spirals out of control from there. 

All that aside. 

Here's a quick rundown of the current bridle stock (not including one I got tired of looking of a picture for that does exist and presumably fits). Remember all browbands are interchangable. 

Which one do you think looks the best?

1) Retro Otto Schumacher White padded bridle 

 I picked this up a week ago (uh time flies!) for a killer deal. It's size 3, which fits everywhere except the cheeks. Because this is me, I stuck a different set of cheeks on it and here we are. The white padding is nice in a dark indoor. The leather smells amazing. It's in shockingly good condition for it's age. The price was such that I can abuse this as a schooling bridle and feel no guilt. It's a crank. It has a flash. i can take the flash off and leave the crank loose to minimize the amount of buckling I have to do.

2. Single Raised Tony Slatter Bridle (currently with Topline Leather browband)

This is not a brand I was familiar with, but a barnmate was selling it and let me try it on ZB and basically as soon as I touched it, I was sold. The leather is stunning. The fit is excellent. It's a plain cavesson, which is about the number of straps I have the energy for. If I'm being picky, the reins are a little short for ZB, but I haven't swapped them out yet because I like touching them. On the whole, this is an excellent quality bridle that is uncomplicated to use, and the single raised is classy on her.


3) Highly Custom Nunn Finer Event Bridle in black/stainless (also shown with Topline Leather browband)

This is the first bridle I bought ZB and I'll probably never be able to sell it because WTF cob size cheeks on an OS headstall. Well, and I'll never want to sell it because it's simple and classic and easy and doesn't have a crank or a flash and can be beat to death and still be acceptable in mixed company.


4) Large horse size Micklem with (different) Topline Browband

 In fairness to me, I don't actually own this bridle. A friend sent it to me to mess around with and either keep or sell. I could tell you a long story about why I've now had it for like 6 months and done neither, but the essential points are that 1) I still have it 2) I don't love it and 3) hey look something off the rack went on ZB somehow!


4) Mark Todd bridle with Dark Jewel Designs browband

 I've blogged about this bridle before. I hang on to it for sentimental reasons and i definitely expect it to be back in the rotation this summer. In a strange twist, it's the only brown piece of tack I own right now. Well, sort of co-own. It's complicated. But beautiful.


5) Red Barn Piaffe Bridle with Black Jak Refinery browband

I had a massive tack ho crush on this bridle for a long time before I bought it. It's a really fun design. It fits (in regular horse size wtf) and the self-colored padding keeps it just this side of conservative. If I'm being picky, I hate doing a crank/flash on the daily, but I also want to keep this as my show bridle. (Ignore that I'm not showing right now) (Also ignore that I loathe new leather and this needs to be broken in).

Help me out blogosphere! If I'm attempting to narrow down which one bridle lives at the barn, which one should it be?

How to Make the Perfect Ammy Horse

Zoebird turns five this month. (I'm committed to calling her 4 until her actual birthday. For reasons.) 

R NOT FUNNY MUM

She's a big lady. She isn't particularly tall, but she's wide and strong and sturdy. 

and she looks so fetch in purple

She's in training twice a week, where my trainer puts w/t/c dressage basics on her for 20-30 minutes a ride. If they a miss a day or a week, it's not a big deal. It is important to me that ZB learn to be a solid equine citizen. It is not important that we hit a competitive goal this year. 

I'm at the barn at least four days a week outside of the trainer rides. I try to be sure Zoe has a solid day a week to be a horse with no particular expectations. 

hand grazing ftw

1-2 times a week, I try to get on and work on something productive and related to dressage. 

clearly i need lessons

Outside of that, I just don't worry about it. ZB is a big lady. She's growing. By all accounts, she has another couple years of growing to go. Her body is big, but her joints haven't closed. 

PRANCIN OVER TARP

We spend a lot of time wandering around outside the arena. Learning to be completely relaxed in arena traffic. Playing with tarps and other fun toys and expanding her natural intelligence and curiosity. 

BARREL HORSE

I want to have a solid show horse eventually, but I have years to do that. Right now, I'm focused on developing my very cool baby mare into the fun, safe partner I've always wanted. 

HELPIN MUM GET HELMUT

That looks different from day to day. Not gonna lie, it completely melted my icy black heart when a special little girl came to the barn and Zoe just put her head down and closed her eyes and let her forelock get braided. 

JUS BEIN DISNEY HORSE

I'm in no hurry. Every day is fun. I look forward to just spending time with ZB and it doesn't even matter to me what we're doing. 

WANT SMOOSH SHORTY DOG

We have time. 

Some Things About Blogging

I've seen several posts lately about the dos and don'ts of blogging. It's interesting, I guess. See, I read it a little differently--we're all here for different reasons and to achieve different goals. I cannot presume to tell you what to do to write a good blog.

I can tell you what I do and why.

1) I'm very personal and honest about what I'm going through with horses.
I started blogging years ago. I'd just gotten my first horse. I was an adult ammy student with a tight budget and almost no local horse friends. I figured there had to be other people like me, so I googled "horse blog" and started reading. And writing. And here I am.

For the record: this is a completely fabulous idea. I have met so many amazing people and forged some incredible friendships and the impact it has had on my actual life is stunning. Ex: met Roxie's mom through the blog. She sourced ZB for me. WUT. ZB IS BECAUSE OF BLOGGING. (Oh and I wanted a ZB because Karen and Roxie's mom let me ride their horses. And we all knew each other because of blogging.)

and sass

[Talking about the ways online bloggers became amazing real life friends would 1) take forever and 2) be extremely personal so I'll probably leave off on that right now, but just know there are incredible people all around us.]

Because my goal is to connect with other horse people, my style is a little different. I don't give a flying f*** if I'm an influencer. I find brand ambassadors in poor taste. I'm not worried about SEO and metrics and building a brand. I'm here for the people, not the money.

I'm not here to shit on the people who are--more power to them. Just not my jam.

2) I LOVE PICTURES. 
Given the prevalence of readily available media anymore, a picture is probably worth like 53 words, but they still matter. I hate to throw walls of text at people. I have a cute horse and a smart phone and boom. Y'all get more ZB pictures than you know what to do with.

recently i stole a camera

3) I make it easy to comment. 
Real talk: I love comments. Partly because it tells me I'm actually hitting my goal of connecting with other humans, partly because I'm vain.

Here's the thing though: I can only remember like one thing at a time. If I'm reading a post and someone says something I want to comment on, I write that comment in my head, but then the topic changes and I forget the comment because I'm reading and then it changes again and I forget I had a comment, and then I'm on something else entirely and by the time I get to the comments, I don't remember what I was thinking anyways.

Maybe y'all are hella better about that than me. Much respect if so. I try to keep things simple and stick to one topic. Plus I allow anonymous comments. And I'm sorry wordpress people but if you require a wordpress account to post a comment, I can't do it.

my ambition level every day

4) I keep things about my one horse. 
I only have the attention span for one horse, so that's pretty easy. If you want lifestyle advice and breezy socialite thrills, you're probably not going to find that here. I don't art. I barely craft. My skincare routine is take a shower. I blog for horses, so I write about horses and if you don't like horses, this is a very odd place for you to be.

I try to write a blog that I like to read. I'm not much for detailed training wrap ups (except when I am), but I know some people LOVE those and read every detail.

I used to be a really good blogger--I had a solid mix of personal and topical posts and I posted every day and did all the things. Now I'm kind of an average blogger who's doing well if I get two posts out a week. The way I do things isn't the one true only or right way to do them.

It works for me. What works for you?