Spring is Actually Here (I Think?)

I didn't really mean to blog because I don't have anything more meaningful to say than "ZB is a baller and all y'all without ZBs must be pretty sad," which isn't super great content. 

However. 

Alyssa came out to play in the sunshine the other day and Roxie's mom had sent me a jump saddle to mess around with. I told Alyssa we'd set up a crossrail and go jumpies but joke's on me, apparently like 3 weeks of solid rain means there's this "mud" substance outside that's bad to jump in. 

bright sides: green grass and space boots

Regardless. It's the first time I've had action pictures of ZB in like... months... and the first time I've had outdoor pictures since... ever... so despite not doing much more than a sedate walk/trot around the outdoor arena while strategically avoiding mud, I thought y'all might want to see what it looks like when you 1) have a ZB and 2) put her in training and 3) only ride very occasionally so the training really gets to take root before you start messing her up. 

walkies!
not gonna lie, i deeply regret my saddle pad choice on this day

I just piddled around and focused on staying quiet and forward with my hands while doing prompt transitions. 

such trot!

She's a different ride than the OTTBs of my past--she's hot for a draft cross, but that still means making her more sensitized to my leg vs LEG ON like riding an actually-hot horse. She tends to run a little downhill and get low in the poll (see also: baby draft horse) so I just kinda camp my hands UP and FORWARD and then go around. 

uh yeah i'll take this

It was really fun for me to see these photos--to me, this was an average-to-blah day where neither of us put in any special effort. I just hopped on and we went around and it felt ok not great. Which is fine. That is the level of effort I was putting in that day.

can you even with how adorable we are
you cannot

I realize my expectations are different than someone who's pushing to get out and show and throw down 70s at first level in a couple weeks or something, but to me, the little lady looks fucking fantastic and omfg guys she is so much fun to ride. 

The footing wasn't good enough to canter or jump or anything so we called it and petted her smooshy nose and fed cookies and let her eat the tasty spring grass. 

Oh the People You Meet

I always say that my favorite thing about blogging is the people you meet. 

and the shared love of Teeny

A while back, Leah forced me to be friends with Teresa because it was inconvenient for her to have to keep up with both of us separately (or maybe she thought we'd hit it off? I guess I didn't ask). We have since all hung out with each other (notably when I invited Leah to Karen's house before even meeting either of them in person) (or when I showed up at Teresa's house literally two hours after she moved across the country), but not actually all at the same time. Yet. 

YOU COULD BE HERE, LEAH #justsaying

Anyways. Point is, I totally crashed T's party last summer and had a perfectly brilliant time, even if she was tired to the point of being incoherent and her horse randomly got the world's worst abscess (tm). And because she is a super nice person, T was A-OK with me coming back to her house this summer. So I did. (Again with the "I show up at people's houses" thing. It's real.) 

and then i used my stolen camera to take pictures of them

This time around, Gatsby was not sporting the mother of all abscesses and I actually got the privilege of watching T work with him, both at home and in a lesson. And on the trail WE WENT ON A TRAIL RIDE OMFG (details later).  

loving the reflections here
and the outfit. 10/10 i am plagiarizing that.

Point is, a lot of adult amateur life can be kind of lonely--we aren't always surrounded by people who share our passions or goals and we can't always make our schedules work and obligations to real life are well, real. I know Gatsby through T's blog and through our messaging, but hadn't seen him in almost a year. What's more, Teresa is always riding him and doesn't have a handy media person, so she hadn't really seen him go either. 

also her house is basically a storybook

It was so fun to take the opportunity to capture this pair as I saw them. They're goofy and real and high achieving and funny and curious and personable. I also definitely gave T a hard time about her screenshots--she really wasn't catching what her little guy is capable of right now, especially as he gets stronger and more balanced.

white kickboards are apparently the secret to indoor photography

Gatsby today is 100% a product of Teresa's hard work and unwavering belief in him. She's an incredible horseman and an incredible human. 

and he has an incredible tail, even if i cut her head off

AND THEN WE WENT TRAIL RIDING. 

and verily, it was awesome

Even on the trail, I was impressed by the calm, consistent way the horses had been handled. Because the trails were bad.ass. but the horses were just super the whole time.

In conclusion. Blogging is awesome because you meet awesome people. Look for ZB updates soon!

Oops I Tack Ho'ed Again

(In fairness to me, this one is pretty much 100% Roxie's mom's fault.)

(Ok FINE 60%.)

I have whined repeatedly about how the only drawback to a glorious ZB is that she is a literal tack ho buzzkill. She's a custom bridle size (uh don't ask how many i have right now), a funky boot size (sob), a scary saddle size (omfg), and an 84" blanket (yes at 4 years old and 15.2 tall).

It's not a lot of fun to spend hours digging through backlogs of fb groups and eBay when your odds of success are literally zero. I mean. I started talking to a custom saddle person because y'know, I can't actually buy anything else so I MIGHT AS WELL SAVE UP AND GET SOMETHING REAL NICE. (Actual this is super logical and probably not something I should bitch about.)

I DO WHAT I WANT
also ho shit mare. feel good much?

The point is that I barely shop for things right now. Thus, when Roxie's mom was like "I'm totes going to a Real Tack Store! Do you need anything?", I gave her a list and told her to send me sexy pictures.

she obliged

Sadly, the super extravagant thing I wanted was not available. And again. Good luck getting a 6" bit off the rack EVER. Not that I need a bit. But shopping.

Everyone needs friends like Roxie's mom, because she knows what I like and sent me a ton of pictures and checked sizes. Then she found it:

ooooooooo

Yes that is a purple dressage pad I don't didn't already have.

Of course, then she's like "oh hey there's a matching shirt", but they didn't have it in my size. 

DUN DUN DUN

can you see where this is going

So the next day, I'm obviously in the market for the matching shirt. I go to Riding Warehouse. I find it. The shirt is like $35, which means I need another $20 to use my coupon and still get free shipping. 

I do the only logical thing and start skimming through the clearance section. 

Annnnnnd then I saw it. 

photo via Riding Warehouse

Dream helmet. In the clearance section. In my size. And I've been meaning to get a new vented schooling helmet. And I had a coupon.

AND I NEEDED TO HIT THE FREE SHIPPING THRESHOLD. 

It was the only way. 

I put it in the cart.

I added the coupon. 

I totaled up the fake money sitting in my paypal account from a return (the money is already spent so it doesn't count, right?). 

sad brown ovation needs to be western-only, right?

I texted some of my super rational friends (cough tack hos all) and they were like #yolo. 

That seemed reasonable. 

Plus it will look so good with my new pad and matching shirt.

At that point, I figured I'd done enough damage for a weekend. But it could also be argued that there was a local tack swap thingy that sounded interesting at a barn I'd never been to and hey, I was already awake! Besides, as I VERY LOGICALLY told a friend, it was mostly western stuff. What could I possibly buy? Reins?

Cough.

Finish giggling, then we'll move on.

I dragged the world's best barn dog (tm) to the tack swap and then took FOREVER to walk through and look at things because basically every single person had to admire him. But that means I had a lot of time to think about the first thing I saw when I walked up:

A saddle that looked like it would fit a barrel.

It had some damage. It was priced low to account for it. It looked like it would fit. I hemmed. I hawed. I ran into a local friend who verified that it looked real wide.

Finally I think I annoyed the guy selling it so much that he was like IF IT DOESNT WORK, JUST RETURN IT and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY PLZ JUST LEAVE.

sooooooooo

Just remember.

Friends don't make friends add up how much they spent on tack in any given weekend.

Requiem for a Friend

Sometimes we aren't the final landing place for a horse. Sometimes we're just a stop along their way to where they were meant to be. 

hello handsome

That's what a friend told me the other day when we were talking about Courage. 

When I met him, he needed a soft landing and I needed someone to soak up the tears from the looming inevitable. 

I loved him. I wanted him to be my horse, the one that I trusted to take me places and do all the things. He was gorgeous and intelligent and good minded and oh-so-athletic. 

When I needed him to be quiet and put the pieces of a shattered heart back together, he was there. 

But when I asked him to be the horse I always wanted, he exited stage left. Repeatedly. He gave me one good season. One giant champion ribbon. One serious education in what it looks like when a horse tries his heart out for you, but he just can't do it anymore. 

I rode through his antics. I learned to work with his quirks. I gave him a solid education in life beyond the track. 

It was hard to understand at the time and it's only a little easier now. 

just another day

I cannot overstate what he did for me and how he taught me to think through every step. To ask hard questions. To become more than myself and go beyond what I thought I could do. It wasn't always fun. It was never easy. It was blood, sweat, and tears, but the person I became because of him is someone I'm proud to be. 

and i will always love this photo

I see now that in some ways, I did the same for him. He came off the track mentally broken. Failing at a demanding career. Discarded by the people who took the most from him. Wearing physical reminders that he'd never be the horse he once was. 

his last win

He was never going to be the performance horse I wanted, but to be the horse he is now, he needed an in between time to learn that he could try again. 

I felt like a failure when I admitted I couldn't make him be what I wanted and I couldn't make myself want what he needed. 

there were a lot of years to get here

But sometimes life isn't about me. It's about giving an old warhorse a chance at a life he earned a thousand times over. 

When I met his new person, I knew he'd hit the jackpot. He stepped off the trailer at his new home and landed where he was meant to be. 

not gonna lie, i'd like to live in his barn

His owner is a private person and I respect that. I get photos of him once in a while and they make me so happy for him. He's wild and woolly and goes on trail rides in the mountains and never has to jump a jump or do dressage again. 

it's a good look for him

No primping and preening and trying to make him what he's not. No more failing and disappointment for a hard knocking campaigner who gave his all. 

It's not that I failed him or wasted my time. It's that there were things we needed to teach each other before we were each ready to be what we really needed to be. 

forever summing us up

Happy trails, my friend. You deserve them. 

Some Things About Blogging

I've seen several posts lately about the dos and don'ts of blogging. It's interesting, I guess. See, I read it a little differently--we're all here for different reasons and to achieve different goals. I cannot presume to tell you what to do to write a good blog.

I can tell you what I do and why.

1) I'm very personal and honest about what I'm going through with horses.
I started blogging years ago. I'd just gotten my first horse. I was an adult ammy student with a tight budget and almost no local horse friends. I figured there had to be other people like me, so I googled "horse blog" and started reading. And writing. And here I am.

For the record: this is a completely fabulous idea. I have met so many amazing people and forged some incredible friendships and the impact it has had on my actual life is stunning. Ex: met Roxie's mom through the blog. She sourced ZB for me. WUT. ZB IS BECAUSE OF BLOGGING. (Oh and I wanted a ZB because Karen and Roxie's mom let me ride their horses. And we all knew each other because of blogging.)

and sass

[Talking about the ways online bloggers became amazing real life friends would 1) take forever and 2) be extremely personal so I'll probably leave off on that right now, but just know there are incredible people all around us.]

Because my goal is to connect with other horse people, my style is a little different. I don't give a flying f*** if I'm an influencer. I find brand ambassadors in poor taste. I'm not worried about SEO and metrics and building a brand. I'm here for the people, not the money.

I'm not here to shit on the people who are--more power to them. Just not my jam.

2) I LOVE PICTURES. 
Given the prevalence of readily available media anymore, a picture is probably worth like 53 words, but they still matter. I hate to throw walls of text at people. I have a cute horse and a smart phone and boom. Y'all get more ZB pictures than you know what to do with.

recently i stole a camera

3) I make it easy to comment. 
Real talk: I love comments. Partly because it tells me I'm actually hitting my goal of connecting with other humans, partly because I'm vain.

Here's the thing though: I can only remember like one thing at a time. If I'm reading a post and someone says something I want to comment on, I write that comment in my head, but then the topic changes and I forget the comment because I'm reading and then it changes again and I forget I had a comment, and then I'm on something else entirely and by the time I get to the comments, I don't remember what I was thinking anyways.

Maybe y'all are hella better about that than me. Much respect if so. I try to keep things simple and stick to one topic. Plus I allow anonymous comments. And I'm sorry wordpress people but if you require a wordpress account to post a comment, I can't do it.

my ambition level every day

4) I keep things about my one horse. 
I only have the attention span for one horse, so that's pretty easy. If you want lifestyle advice and breezy socialite thrills, you're probably not going to find that here. I don't art. I barely craft. My skincare routine is take a shower. I blog for horses, so I write about horses and if you don't like horses, this is a very odd place for you to be.

I try to write a blog that I like to read. I'm not much for detailed training wrap ups (except when I am), but I know some people LOVE those and read every detail.

I used to be a really good blogger--I had a solid mix of personal and topical posts and I posted every day and did all the things. Now I'm kind of an average blogger who's doing well if I get two posts out a week. The way I do things isn't the one true only or right way to do them.

It works for me. What works for you?

The Most Important Thing

When Zoe and I embarked on this adventure together, I was told one thing. 

If a draft mare loves you, she'll do anything for you.

But if she doesn't, she won't give you the time of day.

a thinking picture

I've let that shape my thinking in how I approach ZB every day.

The little lady is talented and has a fantastic work ethic and is delightful to be around. I don't doubt for a minute that she'll hit all the performance goals I set for us.

plus toodling

We have a lifetime to do those things together.

We only get one shot at our first year together.

SMOOSH MUM

I don't just want to be the person who shows up at the barn and pushes and pushes and pushes to hit some arbitrary performance goal.

The whole point of having a Zoe was to have a horse that could be fun every day.

And then to have fun every day.

COOKIES R MORE GREAT THAN TARP

I haven't put a saddle on Zoebird in upwards of two weeks. I haven't even looked at an entry form for a show.

We spend a lot more time hanging out than "working".

SRSLY NEED COOKIES

But the other night we were wandering around the outdoor arena in the the dark together.

Zoe had a good spook and took off towards the gate.

I said, "hey lady".

And she turned.

Trotted up to me.

And all was right with our world.

finding our footing

There are so many places to go and things to do. 

And we'll go to the places and do the things eventually.

But right now, it's just about us becoming us. 

30 Things Blog Hop

Thanks to Amanda for starting, Liz for making it cool, Leah for forcing me to brainstorm, T for 100% agreeing that publishing lists on the internet is ill-advised, and all of the above for being awesome anyways.

why yes i did order this

Without further ago, here are 30 indispensable facts about me that you were definitely dying to know.

1) I am deeply suspicious of lists that reveal personal information on the internet.

2) I've read War and Peace for fun. Twice. And Moby Dick. And Atlas Shrugged is next on my list because of Jen. (See also: nerd.)

3) If I had my life to do over, I'd be a professor at a university or a heavy equipment mechanic, with job prospects, job security, and pay grade inclining me towards the latter.

meet dik dik jesus

4) I hate fish. Alive. Dead. All of them. 

5) I never wanted to be a vet.

6) I never wanted to be a horse trainer. 

wish i'd trained her to do this

7) I was a ballroom dancer in college. Still miss it.

8 )  If you think horse people have drama, you haven't met dancers. 

9) I've never played an organized team sport in my life.

10) I've always wanted to win a belt buckle but never participated in a sport that dispensed them. 

me RN

11) I think pie is overrated.

12) Same with cake.

13) I once made my own costume to go to a fantasy movie premier. There are pictures. 

guess that might not surprise you

14) My first car was the same age as me.

15) I like to drive down roads just to see where they go.

16) My favorite music is female-fronted symphonic euro-metal. 

17) I don't read non-fiction.

31. my favorite animal is dik diks

18) I love cheese and pasta.

19) I got married so young people thought I was in a weird cult.

20) I didn't join a weird cult until much later.

pictured: the cult as dik diks

21) I don't read horse blog posts about dogs. But I do like dogs.

22) I actually don't like cats.

23) Cats also don't like me.

24) I always hated teeny dogs until I got one and now I'm obsessed with him.

no one can even in the face of Teeny

25) I rarely read books written in the last century. That's how you can be sure all the shitty ones got filtered out.

26) I rarely watch tv that's more than a couple years old because I want to be entertained RIGHT NOW and have no patience.

27) I hate watching videos. I'm a fast reader. Don't waste my time.

i am one self important dik dik

28) I delete more friends than i add on Facebook, but consider myself relatively extroverted. Relatively is probably a key term here.

32) and i regularly consider changing this gerenuk to my profile pic

29) The only constellation I can pick out on a regular basis is Orion. Sometimes the big dipper, but I always see Orion first.

30) I live 30 minutes from a ski resort and don't ski. I mean, I did ski a couple times, but there are only so many dangerous, time consuming, expensive hobbies a girl can have.

ZB conquers all