Building Up

Here's the view from my saddle lately:

The lovable Foster, aka 'giant unbroke pony'.














Ms. Tatiyana, Steph upper-level prospect.







Both of these were taken in the arena, but have no fear boys and girls, I've been taking them out. Like in the mountains. Walking, trotting, cantering, doing stuff. I actually haven't ridden Izzy since Saturday (life and work getting in the way) but my butt has been in the saddle on multiple horses most days.

It's a good thing. Izzy and I have a long history together and we understand each other pretty well. Riding other horses forces me to, well, RIDE. I can't just tip forward and cluck to get Yana to canter--I have to sit up and kick. Other horses have other issues, but the important thing is that they're not -our- issues. I'm getting saddle time and working on stuff from our lessons on horses that I'm not used to. Specifically, on horses that are a little more generous in ways Izzy is simply not.

I realize it's not doing a whole lot for Izzy, but I think the variety is helping me. I have to just go saddle up a horse and ride it. No time to worry or build up stress or anything. Just go.

It's a stretch for me, but I'm enjoying it. What's more, I'm learning from it. I'll be back on the pony mare tomorrow, and I look forward to seeing how things are going to change for us.

On an unrelated note, it is SO FREAKING FUN to gallop a prelim horse up a mountain. Anyone want to buy Yana for me? I'm having a little love...

Notes and December Goals

I had another lesson on Saturday. It was one of the hardest lessons I have had in my entire life, and I am including the one where I fell off and broke bones.

It was over crossrails and I never left the saddle.

In an effort to quiet my upper body and encourage Izzy to use her body correctly, Steph had us do like a 10 meter trot circle over a 12" crossrail. I had to keep my inside rein open and both reins forward, pushing toward the jump. I had to keep Izzy out on the circle with my leg and keep my upper body absolutely still. That presented the jump to Izzy, but allowed her to stumble over it, take a flying leap, or jump from a normal distance. It gave me enough to think about that I couldn't anticipate, and it was fast paced enough that I was forced to trust that Izzy would actually jump.

As Steph kept saying, "trust her with everything except your hips". Ha!

We expanded the exercise to include a serpentine of crossrails, all with turns that were about the same or less than our initial 10m circle. Again, trusting Izzy with everything but my hips. Riding forward, pushing hands forward, never pulling back, never anticipating anything.

It seems ridiculous because it doesn't even sound hard when I describe it, right? The underlying problem is my confidence. I gain mental security by hanging on like a crazed monkey. I rationally understand that the "crazed monkey cling" is not accepted as riding protocol because it's counter productive, but that doesn't mean I can just switch to something more logical.

Even though I know I can generally stay on in good form when Izzy stops, even though I can ride her massive leaps most of the time, it completely TERRIFIES me to just let go and trust her to do her job. I don't know why--she's a very game jumper, she rarely stops unless I tell her to, and she's extremely honest. I don't understand this mental block, and I want to overcome it.

It's not as easy and concise as it sounds above. I spent the rest of the weekend wondering why I was even trying to do all this. I can merrily ride Izzy around and do dressage on her and never jump again if I want to. There is no one forcing me to jump anything. I don't have anything to prove to anyone, myself included. I don't know why I even want to event--I mean, if crossrails are scaring me, what do I think XC jumps are going to do?

The truth is, I'm not sure. I do know that if I quit jumping, I want it to be my choice made free of fear. I won't stop because it irrationally scares, though I probably would if it rationally scared me.

Honestly though, the last time we did the serpentine, I took a wider turn to the last crossrail, kept her straight between my hand and leg, and galloped forward. I saw her ears lock on to the jump. I have never felt more confident as a rider than when I pushed my hands into her mane as she lifted off right out of stride.

A dichotomy? Yes.






With that in mind, it's time to set December goals. I didn't have any goals for November because I didn't know how the month would shake out. Now I have things to work on outside of class, though.

1) Gallop on. I can get Izzy out in front of my leg; it's just that it takes me the whole arena at a gallop to do so. In light of that, I need to gallop or extend every time I feel her duck back.

2) Get comfortable. I realize that the point of working with a trainer is to challenge me, but I need to readjust some of my basic thinking. I will focus on staying light and balanced over Izzy and being comfortable with her moving at speed.

3) Press your hands. That's what Steph says to me every time we turn to a jump. The crazed monkey wants to grab the reins. What I need to do is put my hands on Izzy's neck and ride positively forward.

Jumping Lesson with PICTURES!!!

OMG. I am so excited to have fabulous jumping pictures. If you have a brain in your head, you're insanely jealous of my luck in having Ellie as a friend. She came out Thursday to take pictures of Izzy and I in the freezing cold and did an absolutely fabulous job, as per her usual.

Without further ado:


We came into the arena and immediately started galloping around. I'd shorten around the ends a little, then let her go really forward down the longer sides. I wanted her forward and in front of my leg.

Zoom zoom zoom!!










Then we started doing transitions to sharpen her up. Gallop. Halt. Trot. Leg yield. Gallop. Walk. I flexed my body left and right and remembered to stay light and balanced over her, using gravity to stay in the saddle instead of sheer deranged-monkey-grip.









Soft, forward, responsive. That's how we want to start a lesson. Look how shiny her browband is, too. Mmhmm. Someone broke out the brass polish this week.













And we're off! The exercise was a line of bounces. We were working on staying balanced and letting the horse do her job. We started brilliantly.










Then we had a little role confusion. Izzy says "OH MY GAWD that is big, mom".

Straightness. It's important.









Of course, if you miss your line in a grid like this, Izzy can jump pretty darned high. Look at us go! I'm absurdly proud of this picture, even though the reason we're jumping so high is because I screwed up.









Two things:

1) While not perfect, look how much better I'm riding. Amazing what lessons can do.

2) I actually don't mind how I look in breeches right now. Could be better, but has been worse. Winning!

More

Almost as long as I've owned Izzy, I've grappled with this question: is she too much horse for me? I am a chicken-shit-scared re-rider adult ammy. I am not well endowed financially and I do not have ridiculous aspirations of international level competition.

Izzy, on the other hand, is gorgeous, athletic, wicked smart, talented, and has a rather sick sense of humor. She's way more horse than I -need-, sure. On the other hand, she will always have a nice reserve of talent to draw on if I mess up.

I'm in no way saying that I think I'm holding her back--I fall squarely into the camp of people who think that horses do not have goals and she's perfectly happy to plunk around over 2' jumps and play in the pasture as long as I want her to. My issue comes more from incidents like Saturday or our massive crash in June or any number of other episodes we've been through together.

I -can- ride Izzy. It's just that she challenges me every single day. Because of her intelligence, there is no "trotting around" on her. She gets bored, and if you don't give her something to do, she will find something to do. (This is always and unequivocally bad). She is not the pony-ride type horse. She is not a husband horse. She is a proud and fiery mare, by turns brilliant and hormonal.

After our lesson Saturday, I once again seriously questioned what I was doing. I mean, I love riding her when she's good. Jumping through the angled grid? Definitely one of my proudest riding moments ever. Super fun. Losing it from a ridiculous explosion like that? It honestly makes me wonder if I'm one of "those women", the over-monied* and over-mounted scared adult ammies.

In a different situation, I'd probably have to seriously consider my options as far as selling, leasing, or rehoming was concerned. Let's be honest. There are times when Izzy scares me to death. On the other hand, we're actually working with a fabulous trainer now. I am confident that we're going to get through this and come out even better than before.

It just takes more. More discipline, more trust, more assertiveness, more energy, more time. More.

We're going to do it.

*Ok, well minus the over-monied part.

First Fall Post-Crash

Check out this action. This is the jump set up for my (and Devon's) lesson on Saturday. It looks pretty cool and a little confusing, and it totally is.

We started out by doing some position exercises--mostly two point at the walk. As the sun came up, we went to trot around the whole arena, and just as we passed the spot where I'm standing to take this picture, Izzy took off like a bat out of hell. I give you this section from Izzy's perspective:

"So I'm totally trotting around with mom bopping along on top of me. I have no idea what she's doing (nor.mal.) so I'm just looking around at these big pretty bushes. Clearly mom has no idea what's going on-she's just kicking me forward and keeping the reins loose. Doesn't she have any idea what -might- be in there???? OMFG GIANT ATTACK BUNNY RABBIT!!! RUN RUN RUN GET AWAY SAVE YOURSELF!!! SADDLE SLID!!!! ZOMFGZFZFZ THERE IS A DERANGED MONKEY HANGING OFF MY SIDE WHERE DID MOM GO MUST GET AWAY FROM MONKEY!!!!#%^#@%!!!"

At this point, I fell off. Izzy stopped a stride or two later and gave me a bit of a look. Her saddle was twisted off to the side. Thankfully my breastcollar kept it from going under her. Nothing like a loose-ish girth and a round horse, is there?

Anyways. There were drag marks in the arena from me. I landed on my butt and my neck and it hurt like crazy.

I got up, rearranged everything, and got back on. After all, I am having a lesson. I'm not going to lie. It was terrifying. It was all I could do to bite back the tears and grit my teeth. I MUST finish. I WILL finish. I hurt, but I will.not.quit. At least, not until the lesson is over.

After all, I still had this to do. (NOTE: video is of Stephanie on Foster. This is to demonstrate the exercise we were doing.)

Do you see the line? Not yellow to yellow. Low yellow to red to red. Three jumps. One stride between each. 45 degree angles. One straight line.

There is no time to make adjustments or use the reins. You have to come in perfectly straight and stay perfectly still.

Izzy and I totally rocked it. I may have been terrified to trot around the perimeter of the arena, but I could canter complex courses. So it goes.

Sunday was not my best day ever. I couldn't turn my neck and I was in constant pain. I opted not to ride, but I noticed that after I came off, Izzy was still super spooky every time we went through that corner. I had to grab mane each time just to keep from hitting her in the mouth.

So Sunday I booted her up and we went to lunge in the scary corner.

Damn, she looks good.

I made use of our groundwork training from this summer, really getting her to be responsive.

I kept her forward, made her stop and reverse directions on command, and let her work the kinks out. All without turning my head. Ouch.

No worries--I am/was the expected level of sore, so nothing is broken. It just hurt.

I have not been back on yet. I was all alone at the barn today and am in process of replacing my helmet, so I decided that plus the residual pain made it a bad idea. Still, I am playing through my head mental video of what happened and trying to change my reactions. I need to correct this 'cling like a deranged monkey' trait. It's really not helping anything.

Minding Her Ps and Qs

What a serene looking picture.

I was scheduled to have a jumping lesson today, so I was pretty bummed about needing to have Steph take Izzy out on a hack to establish a little sanity.

She started by warming Izzy up in the jump arena. As I expected, Izzy was completely free and forward and happy. Armed with spurs and a whip, they decided to go out and have a little hack. When they came back, I was still on the schedule to have a lesson. WOOHOO!!


Devon, my lesson buddy, warms up pony. In our Finding Nemo universe, he has been entitled "guppy".

Nothing like a lesson with a pony clubber on a pony to remind me that I am -almost- ready to ride with competent children.

Unfortunately, I was not quick enough to get out and see Izzy's hack, but it wasn't all butterflies and flowers. Izzy pulled her "backing and running sideways" stunt and Steph made her back up the hill. And keep going. Backwards.

Funny thing, Izzy figured out pretty quickly that it was a stupid idea to do that. She apparently behaved herself otherwise, but Steph said we would talk about it and she would give me some tools to ride through--particularly, she wants us to stay at the trot when going away so that I can maintain Izzy's momentum and she doesn't have a moment of suspension that she could use to "freeze".

I'm looking forward to doing more with it, because it is killing me not to be able to go canter Izzy up a mountain right now. Dumb mare.

Anyways, the lesson was a total blast, though Ms Mare was a little shocked about having to continue to work. Steph is having me work on getting comfortable actually riding forward to fences. It feels to me like I'm madly galloping around the arena and careening around the corners, but she assures me that I'm barely cantering. Sadly, she's right. I also am focusing on keeping my upper body and seat quiet so that I can ride forward from my leg and not interfere with her.

I apologize for the lack of jumping pictures. Hopefully, that will be remedied next week. Cross your fingers for the return of the amazing Ellie.

A Whimsical Adventure

Since it is Thanksgiving break for those who are still in school, Stephanie's weekend pony-clubber help is here all week. Her name is Devon and she's quite fun.

Today, we were supposed to take Izzy and Foster out on a hack in the hills.

You all know Izzy.










And the lovable Foster.

The hills behind Izzy in the picture is where we were supposed to go. We merrily tacked up and headed out. Neither of us took a whip--me because I've been riding without one and Devon because she'd only ridden Foster once before and no one told her she needed one.

We made it about a hundred feet up the hill before Izzy decided she was DONE leading. Foster tried to pass and led about 30 feet before her was also DONE. I could get Izzy up to his throatlatch, but them she would start running backwards and panicking. I don't know if you've ever ridden in mountains, but "running backwards and panicking" is a very, very bad way to do it. Devon being a tiny little thing and Izzy not cooperating, we decided to pow wow.

We couldn't go forward. Foster was completely immobile and Izzy was a nut bar. We had no leverage of any kind. We decided to ride back to the barn and get whips, then try again. As we start down the hill, Izzy trots. I try to pull her up and she's having none of it. She lunges forward a few strides, which culminates in running into Foster, who then kicks at her. It's like the four stooges. Or something.

Take two. With whips.

This time Foster was leading. All was going along merrily until he imagined that he saw something. He leaped and jumped sideways and ran a few strides. Izzy, never one to be outdone, started booking it down the hill back to the barn. I managed to slow our descent with a pulley rein, but Izzy would alternately run backwards and sideways and never take a step closer to the top of the hill and frequently weasel towards the barn. We made it around a bend in the trail (going towards the barn) and Foster started panicking that she was out of site. Izzy backed into a tree, lunged forward, slammed on the brakes, and started to rear when I asked her to go forward.

Hm... I decide that this is not my hill to die on, literally. I slipped off the side, grabbed the reins, and started marching the idiot pony up the hill. Foster followed meekly, clearly happy to not be in the lead. I huff and puff my way about a half mile up the hill and then stop to reassess. Foster seems fine: Izzy is bug eyed and prancing for god knows what reason. Remounting? Yeah, not going to happen. I am also NOT taking her back to the barn for this absurd behavior. I mean, it's not like she's never been on a trail ride before. ALSO, if she wants to act like a moron, she can do it going forward. Period. None of this 'run back to the barn' business.

Of course, I'm on foot, so this is not the most exciting decision I have ever made. I keep Izzy in the lead, since Foster is much happier as a follower, and we continue on up. Of course it's up... Who doesn't need a good workout on a cold, windy afternoon? As we march boldly forward (my legs are killing me), Foster catches sight of some OMG PEOPLE ARE WALKING I HAVE NEVER SEEN PEOPLE BEFORE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!

I keep Izzy going along, thinking he will just mindlessly follow her, but no. He starts having a mini meltdown, but if you weight 1400 pounds, even a mini meltdown is enough. Devon hops off and joins me in the foot patrol. It would all be very tragic if we weren't laughing hysterically. We entitled it the 'finding nemo' trailride, which make Izzy the pufferfish, Foster as Dory, Me as Marlin, and Devon as Nemo, since her arm started hurting from Foster trying to drag her along.

Izzy continued jigging and acting the idiot throughout, but thanks to the immense abundance of groundwork I've done with her, she mostly stayed out of my space. I certainly didn't envy Devon in that department.

The score is as follows:
Izzy 1 for making me get off
Aimee 1 for making Izzy stay on the trail

Tomorrow, Stephanie is taking Izzy out hacking because I think a certain pony learned that if she put on enough of a show, she wouldn't have to work. I have zero interest in riding her through that show, but Stephanie can and is crazy enough to not even think it's that big of a deal.

Maybe I'll get video...

We're Doing It

As I mentioned, I had a grand jumping lesson on Thursday. I felt like I learned a lot and was able to do some difficult things with Izzy that exceeded my expectations for my perception of my ability. When I rode by myself on Sunday, I jumped Izzy through the exercises that were still set up from a previous lesson, and it went really, really well.

Really well. We were both relaxed and confident and in rhythm. Thanks to limited tack room space, my jump saddle lives at the barn and my dressage saddle lives at home, so I've done a lot of time in the jump tack lately, which in turn makes me more comfortable in it.

So. I've set a goal.

In order to keep up our tradition of attending one show per year, Izzy and I are going to attend the Northwind Winter Jumping Show on December 19th. We are going to jump in the 2'3" and 2'6" classes and I am not going to freak out. I am going to stay relaxed and loose and know my courses and have a good time.

Wish us luck!

Wintertime

The ever lovable Zymon waiting for the storm to come in with me. He has a dreamy face, if you ask me. The big blaze, the long forelock? Total ladies man.

Yes folks, we had snow. It didn't stick, but it's not going to clear up, either. I think winter has begun.

I'm hoping to sneak in a ride on Izzy tomorrow before volunteering at a show all afternoon. Pony mare is being fabulous.

JUMPING LESSON!!!!

w00t

I had a lovely impromptu jumping lesson this morning. My apologies for the lack of pictures, but my photographer is in another state and had zero notice. Unfortunately, she doesn't just hang around the barn waiting for me to do immensely photogenic things.

Actually, that may be a good thing. If she did, not only would it be creepy, but also you'd have around 500 photos of me pulling manes, which is simply not that interesting to watch.




Just because it's not interesting doesn't mean it's not cute. Halfie pony ftw!!




So lesson. We started out cantering through two poles set about 22' apart. It was set to be good for one or two stride, but we had to choose which we were going to do in advance, and then DO IT. Stephanie pointed out that while we were making the distances, it was more because Izzy is good at figuring out what she's supposed to do than because I was actually riding and saying "one stride, two strides" to her.

I rode more assertively and she did great.

Then we jumped little crossrails with a specific pattern--trot in, canter out, circle. Again, it's stuff we can just 'get through', but the point was for me to ride and actually be in charge. I'd turn to trot in and if Izzy got chargy or tense, we'd circle out and do something else. I had to really focus on riding from my legs (DO THIS NOW) while just letting the rest of my hips and body stay soft and loose. That way, I would tell her the rhythm and direction, but if she took off long or short, I was poised to go with her.

Sounds easy. SO HARD.

Despite being a challenging lesson, it was rather ego-building in small ways. Stephanie pointed out that I'm a good, balanced rider (omg i did something right!!!!) but that I get tense when I'm nervous which throws Izzy off. I need to stay loose. Another exercise we completed by the skin our teeth. Stephanie thought it was luck, but I protested that while it was mostly luck, there was some tiny bit of skill involved. Her response: "The skill involved was that you've done such a nice job with this horse that she did it for you."

:-) Happy. I did something else right, too.

The lesson culminated in a super cool exercise as shown in the diagram. (Grey is ground, brown is arena fence).

We began with a trot circle to the right, then trotted over the red jump away from the fence and had to turn and immediately and jump the yellow from the canter, then continue on the right lead and finish with a nice, balanced circle.

For reference, there are about 5 strides between the two and they were each set as 2' verticals.

The first time through, Izzy and I totally nailed it.

The second time was not quite as pretty, but the last time, I turned to trot in and immediately felt my hips get tense. I relaxed them, and rode it beautifully! Winning!!