Custom Portable Drying Rack: Another SB Blog Non-Crafty DIY

I dunno about the rest of y'all, but I read these awesome crafty write ups and am like damn ladies. You so fine. I'm just over here being average.

you too can do a craft

Because they're like Step One: get some shit (ok yes tracking so far i can do stores) and then it's like Step Two: use this other shit you have sitting around (hard pass i don't have those things and NOPE not going back to the store) and I sometimes keep nodding along like oh yeah that makes so much sense even I could do that.

Funny joke no. I could not.

I am the best at ordering things on the internet. Like pizza. If that was a craft, I would be the craft queen.

But it is not.

now all i can think about is pizza

So if you're more like me than you normally admit out loud and/or if you super need a drying rack for your shit, you're in the right place. I promise you simple step-by-step instructions and BEST PART you don't even need any supplies. Best. Craft. Ever.

1) Get a beverage. Dehydration is a real thing and so is pacing yourself and not trying too hard. You can choose an appropriate beverage for your lifestyle choices and situation. I went with the biggest iced coffee I could find to get me jazzed up for crafts.

pro tip: if you bring your corgi to the coffee drive thru, the annoying barista will talk to him instead of you
#winning

2) It kind of goes without saying that you need wet stuff to put on your drying rack and that if you're building it outside, the weather should be amenable to drying. On my particular test day it was 90f+ with no humidity and I had just scrubbed all the boots I keep in my tack trunk but didn't want to be THAT BOARDER who clogs up the wash rack with their shit.

pictured: not the rack you will be building

3) Get some twine. Now this is where it gets tricky. I'm going to throw in some safety warnings here:

3a) Do not take twine off of bales still in the hay stack, particularly not ones which might create a booby trap for you BO. That is dangerous and mean. 

3b) If taking twine out of the garbage, make sure to check for various critters before just jamming your hand into a dark hole you can't see. I take no responsibility for said hand getting bitten by snakes or rats or cats or whatever varmints are around your place. 

pictured: not a varmint

My particular twine came from the trash because my barn is fab about not leaving loose twine on bales.

3c) There are different colors of twine. You can use any color.

3d) If your barn does not have twine, you should probably give up now. Otherwise you have to buy string and that's a downer.

4) Find an out of the way place that is reasonably close to your stall where no one has an excuse to tamper with your shit that you are ok with having water drip all over. This step might be harder in a super fancy barn that's like "indoors" when you're inside it. My barn aisle is dirt so I can drip away.

pictured: drunk horse in barn aisle

5) Tie the twine to a fixed point. If you have scissors, you can hard tie it. If you do not have access to blades, do a quick release.

6) Tie the other end of the twine to a different fixed point. You end result should look like a loop of twine hanging between two fixed points.

yeah that's impossible to see. it's a feature.

7) Hang wet shit on drying rack.

8) PARTAY GIRLFRIEND YOU DID IT. Pat yourself on the back and enjoy your beverage.

9) I mentioned this rack is fully custom and portable. If you want to level up, you can braid several pieces of twine together in your colors or hang multiple loops. If you need to move it, you can just take it wherever. If your BO complains, you can even wear it like a necklace and just prance around with your wet boots dripping on you as kind of a "statement piece".

WHOA FASHION ADVICE.

You didn't see that coming.

And there you go. I know there's kind of a lot of steps but I wanted to cover my bases and over-prepare you guys rather than let you get to the middle of the project and realize that you needed more information to proceed. And hey! If you successfully complete this project, take a picture and send it to me!

Or just have a sip of your beverage and don't. 

Life Lessons From My Corgi

Fellow blogger Amanda recently talked about what it's like having a corgi in her house for the first time. I laughed, but I've had a corgi for almost 7 years now, and I thought I could give you a slightly different view. My (husband's) corgi is an incredible creature.

and tile floors. he loves tile floors.

If you just met him, you know he's charming, personable, and good looking.

If you've known him for an hour, you realize he's eerily intelligent and always has an agenda.

If you've known him his whole life, you realize the only reason he hasn't taken over the world is his distinct love of naps and vacations.

Without further ado, here are the most important life lessons I've learned from my corgi that also help improve my life.

1) Don't hold their long, ugly legs against them. 

Lewis is a quintessential corgi and he thinks the rest of us are strange, unfortunately-gangly-looking creatures. It's a bit like being friends with giraffes: you like them, but they definitely look weird. Despite all that, he's willing to look past our physical abnormalities and scandalous lack of butt-fluff. It doesn't matter what we look like on the outside--we can still be friends.

2) Size is mostly about attitude. 

One of my favorite Lewis stories is how the day he came home (at 11 weeks old), he barked down the neighbor's full-grown Rottweiler. It never bothered us again. We see him as big for a Corgi, small-to-medium for a dog. Lewis knows that physical size is almost completely irrelevant and he runs the neighborhood accordingly.

3) Pugs aren't worth the trouble. 

neither are kittens

While Rottweilers sometimes need to be barked down, nothing can induce Lewis to treat Pugs, Chihuahuas, Pomeranians and their ilk as real dogs. They are irrelevant, nasty snappers and he completely ignores them in all but the most extreme circumstances. Don't let the petty bitches get to you.

4) Go after what you want. 

When Lewis goes to my parents' house, he barks at the refrigerator to remind them he gets a treat for showing up. When he's at a picnic, he finds all the children with food in their hands, wags the stubby, and takes the food. He doesn't waste time begging or winning people over. He knows he's worth it, he drives a hard bargain, and he never comes away empty-handed.

5) Lighten the load. 

Walks are not Lewis' favorite thing ever. When he does have to go on them, he makes sure to dump off any excess crap he's carrying at least once, and sometimes up to four times. Not only does this make his job easier (as he isn't weighted down by things he doesn't need), it makes the issue of not liking walks someone else's problem. You want to make Lewis work? He'll make sure he isn't working alone.

6) Do a barrel roll.

When Lewis is in the midst of a rowdy game and chase-and-bitey-face with my other creatures, they aren't above body checking his blindside. That could be catastrophic to a long-ugly-legged creature, but Lewis knows just to tuck the drummies, do a barrel roll, and land running.

And finally

7) Know your people.

No matter how awesome you are, you're going to have down days and things you're too short to comfortably reach. Keep your people tight, know your pack, and always pay attention to who needs to give you belly rubs now.

and who you can make stick their nose on a snake first

Living with a Corgi is an experience unlike any other. It's not so much having a dog in the house as it is sharing your home with another functional adult who just happens to be a lot better looking than you are. They're more human than most people. I always laugh when people debate whether dogs go to heaven.

Dogs go to heaven, indubitably. Corgis, on the other hand, are free to choose their own destiny. The moment you lump corgis with dogs, the Corgi has already won.

Noted: Lewis wanted me to include #8: long bodies have more belly rub acreage, but I pointed out that it wasn't helpful advice to short-bodied people with short-bodied partners.

one more for good measure