(definitely) Not Meant To Be

I got Courage three years ago with the idea that he would be my jumper. Maybe hunter. We could do hunter derbies if I was REALLY lucky.

Cough.

In a move that surprises no one familiar with my luck (I have none, ever), that plan didn't pan out. Courage has firmly opted out of any sort of career over obstacles on many occasions. He's a dressage horse now and I'm like oh, 80ish% fine with that. Except every once in a while I either go "OMG MISS JUMPING WAH MUST JUMP" or "OMFG DRESSAGE TOO HARD WILL QUIT AND BE JUMPERS".

That has happened three times this year. The first time was a massive shit show that's best described as "if you want to do something really stupid, at least remember to put your freaking martingale on, dumbass" and the second time was actually pretty great.

The third time was last week. It's possible that I had sort of convinced myself that now we were doing reasonably ok-ish dressage that everything would MAGICALLY click into place and C would be completely perfect and we'd be like "lulz y u waste time on dressazzz when could be world's most perfect hunter move over brunello".

ahahaha or something

I mean, I won't swear that's how it was in my head, but you know. It may have been rattling around back there. Because obviously a little first level dressage is all it takes to turn an anti-jumping OTTB into a six-figure warmblood with 1.5 decades of top level training. Obviously.

I'll pause to let your eyes recover from the stain of that collective roll. It's ok. I could hear it from here.

Anyways. Lindsey brought her magical French saddle out and played jump crew for the day. Now that I don't try to make her ride the beastie, she's actually way more willing to do that. Interesting. It started out great--we walked and trotted over poles and I just focused on keeping his topline loose and his brain engaged. He jumped cute both ways when we put up a tiny crossrail.

Then we did a wee little vertical and again, FABULOUS. Thrilled. So easy. Life happy. Perfect hunter. Daydreams.

ok maybe not "hunter" perfect, but i'll take it

And then we changed directions. Courage sucked behind my leg and got tense. I rode a couple circles and asked for some relaxation. It seemed sort of better so we trotted up to our tiny vertical, made a gorgeous jump over it...

swoon

...and landed flailing.

hard.

Hard enough that Lindsey completely missed the video because she had serious (if unfounded) concerns for my physical safety. I apologize for the lack of fail-related media. Alas, it (like my horse) was out of my control.

And lest you think I was abusively jumping the legs off an unfit horse, we had trotted in/cantered out over a teeny crossrail and vertical about 10 times. Total.

Sigh.

because i dared to trot him over a pole

Rest assured, I am in no rush to run out and purchase my own magical French saddle. And I guess, I do appreciate Courage's commitment to his cause and willingness to be upfront about his life goals. He's happy as a dressage horse and he's willing to play jumpies maybe once a quarter, but he definitely didn't want me getting any ideas about an alternate career trajectory.

I even compiled a fails video to remind myself of this fact.

So yeah. We dropped everything down to ground poles and slowly worked back up to our tiny vertical and ended on a good note and I actually don't think I broke the steering or the brakes this time, so that's cool.

it keeps his head from going over mine

But when people ask me why I don't jump and why a certain bay someone always goes in a non-dressage-legal standing martingale, well, that's why.

This One Time, I Jumped My Horse

If you've been around here long enough, you probably remember how I desperately wanted Courage to be a jumper.

Needless to say, we gave that up.

I do try to pop over jumps from time to time, but last time I tried that, it was the definition of a shit show and set our training back several weeks. I just dropped it. Courage can jump and is pretty honest, but he DOESN'T want to be a jumper and he's been VERY clear about that.

But then Lindsey got a fancy new French monoflap jump saddle and I just HAD to get some butt time with that thing.

plus hadn't tried her pink stirrups

It's too small for me and the flap is all wrong, but OMG you guys I've always said a monoflap was my dream jump saddle and now I've sat in one and it really, really is.

I felt so balanced and secure and happy. It was amazing. I really focused on keeping Courage loose through his topline because his default over fences is to get jammed up and pissed off, and well...

requisite first jump back

His first jump is always exuberant and this was no exception, but look! That's not terrible.

We played with the tiny crossrail until he got a little bored.


I felt so great. Confident. Happy. Not a single twinge of nerves. So much of riding this horse is mental and wow it is huge to be able to ride through things without him trying to check out on me.

I even asked Lindsey to raise the jump and I got this:

apparently i now have a kickass auto release so that's cool

look who can land in balance without pissing off

loose rein pats for a good boy

French saddles are magic, people. It's a good thing I already sold my soul for the Precious because that means I can't buy my own but if you see me on a street corner, think nothing of it and just keep driving. We have no plans to be jumpers at this point, but it was fun to mix it up and omg SADDLE.

As JenS pointed out (it's not fair when tiny pony people who do dressage also have the same name, but I digress JenJ), all the dressage is starting to pay off for Courage over fences. He's finally learned to give through his topline and gained a lot of strength and flexibility, where he used to reply on sheer athleticism and attitude.

He's still not going to be a jumper, but as someone who enjoys dabbling in lots of things, I love the opportunity to actually enjoy myself over jumps.

Mixing It Up

Lest it sound like I'm complaining, Courage and I have been busting our butts doing dressage stuff, and for the most part, it's going really well. The other night I had a (perfectly good) ride. It even included some of the best leg yields I've ever done, bar none.

plus so attractive

But.

Courage and I were both just ON EDGE. The whole time. At one point, he blew a gasket randomly just to point out the problem. And it's not even that I'm riding with a lot of tension or asking for hard things or, well, anything. It's just that we've been so focused on Dressage and Goals and Important Stuff and even with our toodle-hacks around the indoor, things just weren't working for us.

I mean, I literally got off from a perfectly fine ride and wanted to have a melt down complete with tears, and I'm not a crying person.

So that's obviously productive.

totes a hunter get up LULZ

But then Saturday and Sunday, I rode with a fellow boarder who does the hunters at a proper barn most of the time and competes on the A circuit. I threw on jump tack and we pretended to be hunters with her. It certainly didn't hurt that our boarder friend was like "omg this horse needs to be a hunter". (I dunno how she looked past our sparkles and colors and clip job, but thanks boarder friend!)

I hadn't sat in my jump saddle in months and I'd forgotten how much fun it can be. We didn't even go over a pole, but I just really worked on staying balanced over Courage, pushing my hands forward and not worrying about the contact, and keeping my eyes very disciplined.

right lead!

We even got our first ride in the outdoor arena of the year on Sunday. Courage was SUPER. Our boarder-friend talked to us about some hunter flat work and we did some simple exercises and just rolled forward. Courage still had some extravagant airs, but neither of us got worked up about it.

It isn't a magic cure-all, but it was a great way for both of us to de-stress for a few days.

On Jumping (or rather, not)

As I'm sure all of you have noticed, I really don't jump my horse anymore, which is weird considering the whole plan was to do jumpers together.

I mean. He jumps like this:

SWOON

I must be crazy not to jump him, right?

Sigh.

I wish it was that simple. I was trying to explain it to Alyssa the other day and it goes kind of like this:

Courage is an incredibly brave and honest jumper. He's not a stopper. He doesn't really rush, he won't charge off after, he doesn't generally buck, leap, rear, or fart around. If he jumps you out of the tack, he just canters in a straight line until you haul your sorry ass back into the saddle. He's not dirty.

Like... what idiot wouldn't jump this clearly talented and awesome horse?

Me.

Because that's not all there is to it. I mean, yeah, he requires a VERY specific ride. You will get your ass OUT of the tack and you will HURL your release at his mouth, or you will have a massive problem exploding directly under you. It's a bit unnerving for my eventer-background self who's used to being a little behind the motion for security's sake, but since he WANTS that ride and really doesn't stop, it's actually quite safe. I can deal with that.

and this is why he needs that release

But there's more.

This part is harder to articulate. I didn't realize what it was at first, because I've done 99% of the rides on Courage and I haven't been riding a lot of other horses in the time I've had him, so it was very hard to contextualize. Courage is an older horse (10) who's been ridden all his life. He's very opinionated and he knows what he wants.

So if he wants to canter through an exercise on the left lead, no matter what you do and whether you're me, a prelim-level eventer, or a strong seasoned pro, he will put you where he wants you. If you're weaker, he'll do it subtly. If you're stronger, he will literally pop you out of the tack and put you where he wants you to be.

horse has OPINIONS

And that makes him not a very fun ride.

He's too green over fences to really know where you ought to be, so sometimes he puts you in the wrong place, which puts him in the wrong place, which he then thinks is your fault. Oops. That's why last summer we spent a long time lunging him over fences--he had to learn how to jump on his own, because he really couldn't with a rider up. He wouldn't listen to the rider (no matter who) and then he'd interpret jumping problems as "ABANDON SHIP", which is no good.

little fences

and big ones

So it's really weird--on the one hand, he has good technique and an attractive jump with no actual vices. On the other hand, no one who jumps him is like "that was fun, I want to do it again". Honestly, I really believe the reason he hasn't developed a stopping/rushing/bucking problem is precisely because of how careful his formative jump training has been.

He is a really attractive jumper with a lot of talent. He's super scopey and fun to be around on the ground. He's really turning in to a fun horse to ride on the flat. Part of our dressage foray is simply to get him more broke to ride. Maybe, just maybe, I can get him to be ride-able enough that we can make jumping fun for both of us.

It's not completely crazy--late this fall, we jumped two courses over 2' fences with like, brakes, steering, and actual control. It was super fun.

finally convinced him that not all jumps are 3'6"

I'm very serious about my bronze medal in dressage goal and most of the time, that makes up for not jumping. Sometimes (like writing this post and looking at these pictures and any time I see a jump set up), I want to jump SO BAD RIGHT NOW OMG OMG OMG.

I keep reminding myself that maybe we can. Next year. Sometime. Maybe. Until then, I've got to get this horse broke.

The Biggest Problem with Modern Dressage

such dressage

I see so many things flying around the internet that I never used to pay attention to when my primary focus wasn't dressage. I mean, let's face it: the people who excel at dressage are hard working, passionate, nit picking perfectionists who are NEVER satisfied with ANYTHING and they're proud of it. (And I'm turning into one of them. Oh god. I miss you, fun self.)

At any rate. I used to tune out all the modern vs classical debates and the whole "sustainable dressage" website and other than laughing my ass off at the Dressage Curmudgeon, I stayed out of it.

But dammit, now it's my fight.

So here I am, bringing the best I've got. My #1 complaint and the biggest issue I see in modern dressage that is going to be hotly contested going forward:

pictured: enough shit to go fourth level. WUT

There is not enough shit.

FOR REAL.

I mean. Watch a dressage test. ANY dressage test. What shit do they have?

A bridle (black).

A saddle (usually black).

A saddle pad (usually white).

There isn't even much variation in half pads.

NO BOOTS.

NO FUN STRAPS.

NO COLORS.

NO COOL BITS.

ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY NOTHING.

This, my friends, is a problem if you are a tack ho like me. Do you know how many white saddle pads a person can own?

Like two. Maybe. Who the hell needs more than two?

Same with black bridles.

STRAPS AND STUFF

I only have one black saddle and IT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH. Sure, eventually I can get a double bridle. OR ADD A SINGLE STRAP TO MY EXISTING BRIDLE WITH THE EXACT SAME FUNCTION.

In jumpers, it's more like a contest to see how many cool bits and straps and boots and just plain SHIT you can fit on a single horse and still get around a course. And then eventers roughly double that, plus do two more disciplines with attendant shit. IT'S SO MUCH SHIT. TACK HO HEAVEN.

But noooooooo not dressage. Nope. We get monochromatic boringness. What.

Polos, Boots, and Leg Protection

so fancy in white polos

As you may have noticed from literally every picture ever taken of my horse, I am a big fan of leg protection and rarely ride without it. What might surprise you is how much thought actually goes in to the whole process for me.

First off, I use leg protection on Courage for two primary reasons. The biggest one is that conformationally, Courage is VERY narrow behind. I tell people that his back legs pretty much come out of the same hole, and I'm actually not joking. Because of how close his hind legs are, interference is a fact of life for us. I think letting my horse interfere and hurt himself is a shitty thing to do, so he wears leg protection.

dressage: the bootless sport!

However, the second reason I use leg protection is a bit more universal--whether jumping or doing dressage, I'm asking him to do things with his legs that he wouldn't normally do on his own and the last thing I want to have happen is for him to sting himself and learn that obedience hurts.

Bear in mind--some noted professionals (Lucinda Green comes to mind) absolutely refuse to use leg protection and there are studies indicating that hear buildup is the number one indicator surrounding lower-limb injuries in horses. To those objections I say:
'1) If I could ride like Lucinda Green, especially on the caliber of horses that LG rides, HAHA well I can't. Just remember that far more noted pros boot up than do not.
2) This is a very valid concern, especially if you live in a hot place. I avoid riding in the heat of the day (flexible job ftw) and make my own value judgments. Your mileage may vary.

contrasting color polos for sportsball

You'll notice I haven't touched on leg support at all. That is for a very specific reason: I call BS on any and all claims that a few strips of leather or fabric or foam is capable of supporting ANYTHING on a 1200 pound animal. No. The physics literally do not make any sense. Stable bandages can help reduce fill in legs if wrapped correctly, but that isn't supporting the horse as much as just moving some fluid around.

Ok, so if we've covered why we use protection, next we need to cover HOW. There are two primary types of leg protection on the market: boots and wraps. There is a huge variety. Jumping horses primarily use boots--open fronts for jumping over things that fall down and closed front for things that do not. Dressage horses occasionally wear boots, but are most frequently seen in wraps. Let's talk about why.

open front jumping boots

When a horse is jumping a stadium fence (with rails that fall down), we want that horse to be hyper-aware that touching a pole is no bueno. Whether it's your 2' stadium round at a schooling show or the Olympics, your score is dependent on rails staying up. The configuration of an open front boot in this scenario allows the horse to feel the rail on his legs if he hits it, but still protects him from an interference injury on the soft tissue of his leg if he were to overreach or stumble.

sometimes you have to use fluffy boots

So if we want the horse to feel stadium rails, why do we cover his legs for cross country? Simple. If your horse hits a stadium rail, it falls. If he clips an XC fence, he's very likely losing hair. It hurts. We don't want jumping to hurt. Horses do tend to respect solid fences more, but the higher consequence of hitting a fixed obstacle needs to be minimized. There are a lot of technical things that go into XC boots--air vents are becoming common and hydro-phobic boots are great innovations for a sport that guarantees encounters with water. I'll leave those descriptions to someone who actually events, though.

black BOT polos

And that brings us around to wraps. You rarely see wraps on jumping horses in the arena and should never see them on XC. Wraps are simply not as stable as boots. Fleece polos especially stretch when wet and tighten as they dry, which translates simply to the potential to slide down and trip the horse (bad) or tighten and injure a tendon (worse). Plus they don't have a hard shell like a boot to disperse the impact of a flying hoof. So what's the appeal?

Aside from being the classiest-looking option, polo wraps provide the most customized and flexible level of protection. They are my favorite for dressage for this reason. They're soft, which never impedes movement, they lay nicely around cuts and scrapes that might be aggravated by a boot, and they provide simple coverage to cushion incidental interference. Quite honestly, for dressage, they are my favorite. Especially with my narrow-behind horse, I love that they are almost flush with the leg and don't contribute to him tripping himself.

That said, polos take longer to roll and wrap and are a pain to wash. They take some skill to put on, though it's not rocket science.

dressage boots

There are also dressage boots, which are generally fleece-lined and have a softer shell. I do have a couple sets of these for busy days, but nothing beats the all-around protection of a polo wrap that covers the horse from just below the knee to just above the ankle.

And that's my basic philosophy of leg protection. Boots and wraps have a very specific function. If we're going to use (or omit) a piece of gear on a horse, I think we need to have a systematic reason for it beyond "they're trendy"*.

polo art!

*Unless we're talking about half pads, which I'm convinced are about 99% trendy anyways. Yes I have three.

PS I haven't covered bell boots at all. In my mind, they are shoe protection, not leg protection, and if you don't have a good understand of what I'm talking about, count yourself very lucky.

PPS As per the usual, I refer to all horses as he because I have a gelding and dislike mares. If that offends you, remember that mares offend me.

Goal Achievement Unlocked: Oxers

this is now a non-event

One of my goals for this year (that I may or may not achieve) is to jump a 2'6" course at home including oxers. I probably should have broken this down into smaller goals, because there is one slight problem: I have major oxer phobia.

I've mentioned that I'm feeling much more confident on Courage in general and I'm pretty comfortable jumping anything that's 2' or under now and I've finally overcome my barrel phobia (now they're one of my favorite jumps!), but yeah. Oxers. It's worse if they're square but ascending is pretty bad too.

The good news is that since we actually have an over-fences comfort zone (this is new), there is a legitimate way to address this problem.

also exciting? GAME DAY

And that makes me excited.

You see, before everyone was all "EXPAND YOUR COMFORT ZONE" but like, when you don't have one? THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

Ahem. So since a 2' vertical ain't no thang (and I won't let myself jump crossrails anymore), I set the world's most baby-est and tiny oxer. Literally one end is on the standard and the other end is on the cavaletti box.

Not gonna lie--I screwed up pretty bad the first time. Totally gunned him at it, then jumped way ahead AND hit him in the mouth, which is not awesome.

has opinions. isn't wrong.

But. Usually I ride better than that, so he was all "wtf" but didn't get mad (yay trust bank!) and we tried again. That time I didn't hit him in the mouth, but unfolded early and made him have a rail, which got me another "wtf" and a little leap on the backside.

I set it back up, got us combobulated, and talked another boarder into taking video of us.

For your viewing pleasure:

yup. love it.

I realize it's not the most exciting thing ever--I mean. It is literally me trotting a 2' oxer on a circle, but I'm really happy with what that means for us.

All this dressage is working.

Courage is getting stronger and learning how to use his body correctly.

I'm learning to give him the ride that he needs (H/J NOT event, kthxBAI).

We're building a stronger partnership.

We're one step closer to achieving a goal I set this spring.


I realize our steps look pathetically small to some people, but I'm ok with that. I'm not here to prove what an amazing badass I am or stroke my own ego. I'm here to prove to myself that I can do this and have fun at the same time.

I'm here to do right by my horse.

I'm here to be the best horseperson I can be, whatever that means on any given day. 

And yeah. I am pretty proud of us right now.

(ALSO: GAMEDAY ERMEGERD)

Progress Check (over fences with video)

friendly faces

I used to ride with Redheadlins, our BO, and Alyssa ALL THE TIME at my old barn. It was great--you had someone there to keep an eye on your progress (and take media) constantly. There are lots of perks to our current barn (like dressage ladies thinking everything I jump is MASSIVE, fab for the ego), but I do miss having friends to jump with. So much.

Last Saturday, Redheadlins came out to see Courage jump, Alyssa came to take pictures, and theoretically I was going to do the riding, but after cleaning stalls and setting a jump course and it being 105, just no. This office worker was done. Lindsey got to ride instead.

so sexy

She used to ride Courage a lot, but probably hasn't sat on him in 6-8 months at this point, and she only sees him infrequently.

Which is to say, instead of being tied in to our daily battles, she could take more of a long view and look at the progress we're making.

over the skinny

I told her to ride him like a hunter. Basically, through the dressage we've done, he's learning to understand contact and use his body correctly. Now he has to learn that 100% of the time, no matter what, he isn't going to get hit in the face over fences. He has such a short neck and topline that he just cannot absorb any disruption. 

She commented that he is so much stronger in the trot--when she trotted to a jump, he could take any distance and canter away softly. The canter was coming, but if he got to a funny distance, he didn't have enough tools to fix it yet.

That aligns well with our under saddle work--Courage really has the trot nailed. We're working on the canter and I'm thinking it will be a lot stronger/more balanced come spring.

favorite shot. omg.

I mean, he's already balanced, per se, but now it's about understanding how to use his body and change his stride.

Even as he is now though, he's capable of cantering up to a jump softly, jumping the shit out of it, and cantering away. Maybe my hunter really is hiding in there somewhere?

Time will tell on that count.

 It was really fun to watch Courage go. I've put all the rides on him this year (except two twenty minute segments by our dressage trainer), which means that A) I'm completely responsible for our progress or lack thereof and B) I only know how he feels, not what he looks like.

He's not polished and perfect by any means. He's not ready to go win a hunter derby tomorrow, or this year, or even next year.

BUT.

I can already see how the work we've done together is changing his body, his balance, and his mind. I'm really thrilled to keep developing that and see where we can get to.

Jumping Update

Courage and I haven't jumped a lot this year. Part of that is moving to a dressage barn and getting serious about improving our flat work. 

The other part of it has just been finding our sea legs together. I needed Courage to be in a place where I felt comfortable just kicking him and riding him forward. We hack around barn property now pretty much 5 days a week. I make Courage do ALL the spooky stuff. It's paying off enormously--his disobedience is now spooking forward instead of parking it or things things in reverse. I can deal with that.

squint a little. they're jumps.

And now I've started adding fences back in. I really also want to add lessons back in, but logistics are a bit of a nightmare this month, so eventually. For now, I'm focusing on jumping hundreds of tiny jumps. Hundreds. Easy. If it looks big to me, I put it down. I haven't put together any lines or grids or related distances. 

waiting while i set jumps

We ride big swoopy turns to tiny fences. I put my leg on and my shoulders back and my eyes up. I keep my hands forward and give big releases (because Courage would far rather I tip forward like a jumper than hit him in the face like an eventer). 

Honestly, it's really interesting. Some days it's even fun. Courage is far less green to his fences than he is in dressage. I am actually capable of riding quite well if I'm not feeling overfaced and terrified. Just like with out hacking, it's about building a bank of calm, positive experiences for us to draw on. 

dreamy

The day we got video, I was a bit appalled by how backed off I had him, though happy with his relaxation. The next time we jumped, I kept the fence heights the same, but pushed him more forward. Basically, if he's not getting clean changes, I need more horse. 

When I watch other people ride, I'm always jealous of the ones who have the been there/done that horses that are pretty much point and shoot. So. That's what I'm trying to create. We don't have to be the fanciest or most polished or have the most ribbons and nicest stuff. I just want to continue creating my cool horse to have fun on, now over fences as well as on the flat.