Thoughts on Photography

I am not a photographer. My "camera" is my phone, as I'm sure all you photography snobs (not an insult) can tell. I definitely respect the money, time, and talent that goes into creating professional-quality images. I've occasionally thought about investing the money in a real camera, but then there's still the time and talent issues which I am unlikely to resolve.

But.

One thing I've learned from the photographers I've worked with is that photography is far more art than science. I mean yes. There is a formula to catching "sport" images and knowing the right moment to capture a horse in motion for the different disciplines and eventually, sure, anyone can learn it.

angsty. dramatic. courageous.

But the candids are a different beast all together. Candid photos are all about showing the horse as she is, and there is no rigid mold for that. To do it right, I have to learn to understand the horse I'm working with. I got really good at capturing Courage as a model. He was easy--look of eagles, dramatic posing, and all that is noble and bold about an equine.

equally dramatic corgi

Very few horses are like Courage. He just had that classic quality that made him incredibly photogenic and he was authentically that good looking all the goddamn time.

And see, good candid photography is capturing the subject as they are, not as you want them to be.

I've met a handful of other blogger horses this year and attempting to photograph them has been such an interesting challenge. They are all very cool horses in their own ways, but not one of them is like Courage. I met Hampton first, so let's look at him first.

awww

Hampton is a really cool guy. There are things about him that are dramatic, but he's also sweet and goofy and wants to be your buddy. I took lots of cute Hampton pictures and goofy Hampton pictures, but the ones that really stand out to me are the ones with Karen.

love this

What is most fascinating to me about Hampton is his relationship with Karen. On his own, he's an adorable, bumbling, awkward average-looking horse.

With Karen, he's this amazing, larger-than-life, confident, suave character. The two of them make each other better. 

And then there's Roxie. 

ROXIECORN <3

She's an entity unto herself. Fiercely independent. Brashly opinionated. Utterly fearless. Her relationship with her mom is almost more a mutual respect thing or a meeting of equals than some sort of horse/human thing. They are kind and sensitive and hilarious, but they are their own horse (/person) first. 

big skies

Even capturing Roxie in motion was tricky--the "conventional" motion shots didn't capture her right. Reducing her to a series of angles and math problems completely missed what she is. This shot is completely the wrong moment for your average warmblood or thoroughbred, but I love how it catches the lift in her stride, the wide open space, and her focus on her job. 

Another tricky horse to shoot is Gatsby. He is really more of an overgrown puppy than a horse. I mean. I can dress him up and pose him just so and try to make him look like Courage.

hm that's a no

But one look at the photo, and it's just not him. He was definitely the most challenging in terms of learning his personality in order to capture it. 

so not how courage would have used this light

When I stopped imposing what I wanted him to be, I found who he was all along. 

this is them

Gatsby is an unconventional guy and he has an unconventional relationship with his mom. They're silly and authentic and completely unlike any pair I've worked with before.

Zoe is new to me. She's a whole different horse is so many ways. 

HAI OTHER Z BIRD

She's brave and curious. Friendly, but a little shy. I'm still learning just what it is that makes her tick and until then, I feel like my shots of her are going to be a little hit-and-miss.

HI MOM R U BRING COOKEEZ

Photography is an art form and I'm no artist. I look forward to getting acquainted with Ms. Zoebird and figuring out her personality.  

Magna Wave Meets Reactivity Personified: A Magna Wave Maxx Review

I'm skeptical about alternative therapy for horses. I think new technology is super cool and I love living in the future, but I also think it's dumb to spend money on untested tech that may or may not do anything.

this pic is never not appropriate

Good news: my bodywork lady totally gets that.

(Aside: people like to ask what bodywork is. It's some combination of massage and chiro and I can't 100% tell you what she does, but when she works on C, we go from not going forward and not turning right to going forward and turning right, so it's worth the $ to me.)

our specialty

Bodywork lady also runs an equine rehab center and she usually lets us play with the new toys when they come in to see if it's something we're interested in doing on our horses. Courage has gotten laser treatment and ultrasound stuff, I gave Alyssa  Courage's turn on a Theraplate to see what happens (answer: made her nauseous), and I think we've done a couple other things. To this point, I haven't noticed that anything outside of the usual hands-on body manipulation was doing anything for Courage.

getting started

And then bodywork lady shows up with a thing called a "magna wave". It looked like a glorified hose lasso attached to a suitcase or tiny R2D2 droid and it popped like an electric fence. It has little wheels on the body so it's easy to move and it plugs into a normal outlet, so pretty straightforward. (research tells me this is the Maxx model).

Given Courage's extreme reactions to ropes/hoses (DO NOT LIKE) and hearty respect for electric fence (won't step over a single strand 1' off the ground), I figured this would be another failed experiment where I might get some good NOPE pictures but would achieve nothing useful.

Bodywork lady walked into his stall with the weird heavy popping droid suitcase hose thingy. I was SHOCKED that Courage gave it minor side eye, then was 100% ok without even moving his feet.

And then I was completely floored.

Not only did he like the treatment (I'd already tried it on myself--feels weird, doesn't hurt, did feel good after), he literally dropped his head below his poll and completely relaxed his entire body. Apparently, the machine/hose combo uses electro-magnetic pulses to essentially give a deep tissue massage. I don't know how I feel about any of those words in particular, but the change in Courage was remarkable.

This is the horse who leaps around, rears, paws the air, bolts away, and generally has a meltdown in his overreactions to pain when we do bodywork. He relaxes afterwards when he feels better, but it's borderline dangerous (at best) for myself or our practitioner and I never feel comfortable asking someone to hold him for me.

After a nice long session with the Magna Wave, Courage stood there like a sleepy old school horse, eyes closed, ears floppy, poll below his withers, and was completely passive and cooperative for the entire length of the adjustment.

and gave big releases

Which was less than a third the normal amount of time because there were no flying hooves to dodge or trooping around the barn trying to catch him after yet another escapade. (Yeah he possibly has a reputation...)

Um. Sign. Me. Up.

Courage is a special snowflake for sure and I try to do anything I can to keep people around him safe and happy. This was worth it for the increase in personal safety for myself and our bodyworker alone. I mean, we both kept repeating "I don't even recognize him" and "do you think we killed him"? I also asked her if I could get my own, and she said sure but pointed out they cost a tidy 20k so yeah, not happening here.

Per our bodywork lady, you can actually get on and ride immediately vs the usual 24-48 hours off after stuff like this, but I had somewhere to be so I didn't get to see the after-effects until I pulled him out the next day.

I threw him on the lunge line and then scraped my jaw off the floor--dayum.

don't even know this horse

Homeboy floated around like I've never seen him move. I ended up not riding, because he also felt super good, which entailed grunting oddly every few strides and periodically leaving the ground ways I just didn't care to ride.

eh no thanks

He wasn't naughty or bolting or any number of previous lunge line shenanigans. He just looked like he felt amazing and he was expressing himself. Nothing was sustained or idiotic.

Even without the after pictures though, I'm a believer. The change in him was mind blowing for me and regardless of how well it holds long term, the sheer fact that he was able to let us work on him without the big reactions makes it worthwhile to me at this point. I will say I watched our lady use it on several horses and there were a variety of responses, but for Courage and one of his girlfriends, this nifty tool could be a game changer.

10/10 will use again. Definitely recommend.

Photo Perfection: Pro Edition

I am relatively public about my equine life and I get lots of feedback from people I've never met on the internet. Most of it is positive, some of it is weird, and some of it is super shitty. But I'm the one that chose to be public.

identity concealed to protect innocent parties

If you follow Courage Has Opinions on instagram, you've probably recognized fellow bloggers and their horses on there. Those shots were all sent to me to become memes and are used with the direct permission of the featured riders of the horses. (And if you want to be featured, definitely send along a fail. It keeps me pretty entertained).

Courtesy of Confessions of a Dressage Barbie

Those riders have something in common: they're not professionals. They don't have a special image to maintain. They aren't selling their skills to the equine public. There are certainly the rare pros who are ok with fail pictures, but most of those specialize in green horses with green moments and their market understands that green things happen. (Not all. Most.)

But that's just it: I CAN feature fail photos because I don't have anything riding on this. Pun somewhat intended. I don't get paid more or less or gain or lose clients because of anything to do with horses, but that is 100% the case with a professional. They are their business and the images of them that circulate the internet can definitely haunt them.

As a blogger, I try to be very upfront with the equine professionals I've worked with--my blog is about me and my horse. Period. I don't snitch on clients, I don't share gossip, and I most certainly don't run professionals through the mud without very, very, VERY good reason (seriously two years later that post is still getting comments). Now that Courage is in training with a professional (omg!), there are some different factors at play.

me in the irons

I have trusted Courage's training to my trainer and the work she is doing is not up for internet dissection. Period. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to handle this on the blog--I've very happy with the progress he's making. I'm very confident in my trainer's abilities and I love her way with horses.

But she didn't sign up to get attacked by the clown wagon and I DO NOT want there to be an assumption that if you ride a blogger's horse, you go on the internet. Her agreement is with me and Courage and that's all.

clown wagon represent!

So as I decide how to process and share (or not) this next section of our relationship, help me out. What are you standards for sharing pictures/media  of a professional on your horse? On their horse? What is their assumption of privacy? How do you chose to represent those in the equine industry on your personal blog or social media?

Death Knell for Modern Eventing

Every time I open my mouth about eventing, I get bombarded with angry emotional tirades by people I don't even know (who frequently don't actually event, but are strangely emotionally attached to it) and every time, I swear I'll never do it again. But proving yet again that I might not be the smartest person on the internet, here I go.

the pinnacle of my "eventing"

I assume you all heard about the tragic passing of both an event rider and a horse in unrelated incidents at a US-based 3* last weekend. I'm not here to sit in judgement on specific incidents--by all accounts, the world is now short one amazing woman and a completely irreplaceable animal. There are a lot of articles circulating the internet about them right now--I think the best is this one, by a young woman who was deeply impacted by Phillipa.

No one with any sense is saying that either the rider or the horse was at fault and a lot of people with a lot of sense are fighting about how to fix the obvious and glaring problems. I don't have the answers and I'm definitely not here to chair a wholly-unqualified mob commission from my seat on the internet. Suffice to say, if you think you have the answers to fix a problem we can't quantify at this point, I also think you are an idiot.

That aside.

Eventing is digging it's own grave at an incredible rate right now. I've never evented above beginner novice and at this point in my life, it's unlikely to ever progress beyond that point. I cannot speak to what happens on course and that's not what this is about. I'm talking about the business model the USEA and PRO and modern American eventers have worked so hard to create. From a business perspective, this model is completely unsustainable.

Let's face it--eventing is the grass roots, common-man, Olympic-dreams sport in the way a pay-to-play discipline like show jumping or dressage can never be. International show jumping is populated with celebrities and billionaires. Want to go to the Olympics? Just drop 15mil on the literal nicest horse in the world, hire the best coach in the world, build the best facility in the world, and the competition will come to you. It's somewhat the same in dressage--all y'all rocking those $90 kastel sunshirts--do you know who Charlotte Jorst is? Facsinating story there.

good thing they're nice shirts

Eventing is the only FEI discipline in which a starry-eyed girl can buy a horse off the track for a few hundred dollars and make it to the elite upper levels. That is a beautiful thing, in a lot of ways.

But you know what it's not? A business model. That's why at the USEA convention, there are whole seminars on convincing rich people to be "owners" of upper level horses and allowing the real athletes to ride them. Of course, here's the thing--while a few people certainly own horses because they love horses and they love the sport and their version of collecting Breyer models is owning 7 horses at Rolex, that pool of people is very, VERY small.

For everyone else, they need to get something out of it. Obviously, eventing is a lot more dangerous than show jumping or dressage and requires a pretty specific personality type and a skill set that cannot be bought. That rules out most rich people who can afford to self-finance an international competition schedule. They themselves cannot compete at the top levels.

Ok, well what about event horses as an investment? I mean, Doug Payne sold Running Order and another horse (sob not over it) to not-figuratively buy the farm. I don't know or care how much money changed hands, but you'll notice even WFP hasn't taken that horse to a 4* since then. Of course he did almost metaphorically buy the farm last year, so who knows how that figures in.

What I'm getting at is this: according to this study commissioned by the FEI, one of the biggest indicators for a rotational fall (which is how people and horses die) is the age of the horse--meaning the Marilyn Little school of "ram em and jam em up the levels for a quick resale" is literally punching your ticket for a scary ass fall and if William Fox Pitt can't take a made 4* horse to a 4* event, well, then there really isn't a resale market for a 4* horse. Period. Eventing takes trust and a relationship between horse and rider and you can't buy that. Michael Jung makes his own--wonder why?

So essentially, an upper level event horse is rapidly becoming a dud as an investment. No matter how many times Visa tells you something is priceless, what that means in real terms is that it has no value. Can't sell it.

And if you can't sell it, you can't insure it. Insurance is a business and it runs on actuaries putting real values on things and then betting that the thing won't just fucking die at an event. Which they are doing. Right now.

Well that leaves an interesting conundrum, doesn't it? What's the incentive to own an un-saleable, un-insurable so-called "investment" in a high-risk sport?

There isn't one.

That leaves two options:

1) The moneybags would-be owners walk away from the sport--it drops out of the Olympics and off the public radar. Professionals struggle harder than ever to make it, course design naturally degenerates to the scary-ass stuff they jumped in olden times because there's no money to pay designers and build fancy fences and so on.

2) The sport makes serious changes in terms of safety and accessibility so that the Olympic buy-a-medal program remains a viable option. The risk is greatly reduced, the prices of horses jump up another few notches, the ability of the girl-on-her-ottb to make it to the top becomes less than zero. The purpose-bred $$$$$$$ horse dominates, the sport professionalizes to the point of being unrecognizable, and the Wellington eventing showcase is your new feature 4*. The sport you think you love no longer exists.

There are some appealing things about option 1--it's something Denny Emerson and Jimmy Wofford seem to advocate for, and obviously they've been around a while. There are some horse friendly outcomes in this and there is certainly an emotional appeal--you return the decision making to the horse people instead of handing it to the entertainers and accountants. There are also some really glaring drawbacks.

The first thing that comes to mind is simply the visibility--it's amazing how sports have to clean up when everyone starts looking. I think visibility is a huge part of horse and rider safety. If eventing were to drop off the map of the international scene, a lot of things could happen that otherwise wouldn't if there was more oversight. In addition, I really really don't understand all the people claiming that somehow going back to early-era eventing is a good idea. You think Vicarage Vee was terrifying? LOOK WHAT THEY USED TO DO. That's a nope. There is no question in my mind that with all it's drawbacks, the modern form of eventing is safer for horses and riders than whatever that horrifying bloodbath was.

So let's think about option 2. Money talks. Let's face it--dressage and showjumping, our equivalent international-level FEI-regulated events are essentially tests of which horse is the fanciest and most expensive, which means 99.999% of humanity cannot afford to compete. Obviously, horsemanship still plays in, but no one gets anywhere (on the international scene) with their OTTB. On the other hand, it's glamorous, fun to watch, and safe.

Moreover, there are also some horse friendly features to this model. Namely--horses stop dying in preventable ways. Public scrutiny is at a maximum and there is nowhere to hide a (metaphorical or real) body. The very real drawback is of course that when you can literally buy an Olympic medal, then you expect to and the welfare of the horse can be overlooked. Does this balance the increased scrutiny? Maybe?

Eventing is theoretically different because instead of being a fancy horse competition, it offered us the ability to test the sheer grit and heart of the horses and riders involved. The problem with that kind of test is failing it can mean death for horse and rider. We live in a safe, protected modern society that isn't comfortable with death and thinks that sacrificing good people and good horses on the altar of sport is disgusting bloodlust.

And frankly, I agree.

Modern eventing is going away. It cannot and should not survive.

What rises from it's ashes will be an interesting beast indeed.

Teddy's Tack Trunk/Leistner Brushes Review

Here's a thing about Courage: he hates brushing.

Always has.

So when Amanda was like "omg new brushes so amazing" I was like "lulz bitchez" and moved on. But then I was getting all weird and sappy about Courage and Amanda was like "I swear it's real" and I got poking around Teddy's Tack Trunk website.

I wanted one brush to try out.

But a brush is like $20 and shipping is like $6 and there's a coupon code available on the site that offers 10% off orders $50 and over. And free shipping if your order is over $60.

So I carefully perused the softest and most picky-horse-approved brushes, piled 3 of them into my cart, added a tail brush, then got my 10% off (which made the tail brush free) and free shipping (which made my tack ho heart happy). It was Friday at like 1pm. I hemmed and hawed and screwed around and finally hit order around 3pm Mountain Time. On Friday.

The brushes were on my doorstep when I came home from work Monday afternoon.

Prinze is the dual colored one facing up.

Really people. You have got to try that.

But of course, outstanding customer service was only part one of this order. Part two: would Courage let the brushes anywhere near his precious princess self?

He's old enough to know better than to try to kick me, usually. He still lifts his hind legs (I won't smack him if the leg is on the other side of his body from me), grinds his teeth, savagely attacks the wall, twitches, and generally attacks abused. Before you call me a monster, keep in mind that he gets "groomed" with one semi-approved plastic curry to get the worst of the mud off (and is blanketed to prvent major mud) plus one specially-purchased soft brush that skims off the dust. The whole "routine" took under 60 seconds, and his reactions are actually less extreme than they used to be.

After knocking off the mud, I busted out our new brushes. First we used the Prinze natural body brush. The very-unassuming website description says this "Horse grooming brush, medium bristle texture, made of 100% pure horse hair and a lifted double edge of natural bristles. Lacquered beech wood body and durable leather strap."

That doesn't seem like much. It's pretty much the nicer version of the brush I already had, right?

old brush. $8.99 at the feed store.

WRONG.

The bristles are super soft and giving, with just enough resistance to really lift the dirt out of the coat. (Courage is body clipped--obviously these brushes cannot actually reach through intense winter yak hair). What's more magical, this brush did all that with far less actual pressure on the brush than my cheaper brush with longer bristles took.

Which meant that Courage stood there and kind of flicked his ears like "I should hate this but I don't quite".

omg who knew goats were soft?

Then I pulled out the goat hair brush. The website description is this:
Extremely soft and luxurious horse grooming brush made of long and thick, 100% pure goat hair with beech wood handle and a durable leather strap.

Let me tell you, they are DEAD SERIOUS about the luxurious thing. This brush is possibly softer than my sheepskin grooming mitt. It's amazing. I started using it to lift the traces of dust left behind on Courage's coat and OMG YOU GUYS.

He couldn't believe it either.

Seriously. For the first time in the years I have been with this horse, he just stood there and let me brush him. He dropped his poll below his withers. His body relaxed. Of course, when I stopped to take a picture, he twisted around like WTF WAS THAT and I got the above picture instead.

size comparison

I also got the goat hair face brush because I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It's the same as the big brush, but easier to use on faces. It seemed rather extravagant, but it got me free shipping.

It gave me the same bizarre experience as the goat hair body brush. Courage got tense when I got near his face, but then... nothing... he didn't quite relax into it yet, but instead giraffing it up and trying to get away, he just stood there. THAT'S HUGE. Seriously.

The goat brush was so soft and magical that I'm pretty sure angels were singing and I just kept using it and his coat started glowing.

I mean. The reason we get by with so little grooming in general is that this horse has fantastic nutrition and good coat genetics, but like. Omg. There is a whole 'nother level of shine that we're unlocking right now.

I got Courage out and worked him, then let him much hay in his stall and (get this!!) (omg!!) groomed him again while he was eating. HE WAS EATING LOOSE AND I WAS BRUSHING HIM.

That has never happened before. Usually if I even try, he leaves the stall.

Color. Me. Impressed. These brushes are phenomenal, the customer service is amazing, and wow. You have to try this stuff. And Teddy's Tack Trunk didn't even give me a kick back for saying that. (I am the worst at free shit. Otoh, all my opinions are completely my own.)

PS Those discounts were valid as of when I ordered. Looks like the current threshold is $75.

The Look of Eagles: a Guide to the Feisty Horse

I always say that Courage poses dramatically. It's his version of a vice.

any excuse to use this picture

On more than one occasion, I've been told he has the "look of eagles" that you hear old-time horseman talk about. It makes sense when I think about it--in a lot of ways, Courage is one of the bravest horses I've been around. He is afraid of nothing. He'll occasionally startle, less frequently actually spook. He always wants to understand a situation and once he understands, he's unflappable. Spooking isn't his problem. OPINIONS are his problem.

In short, he exudes character out of every pore of his very-fine body.

when your friend doesn't know you're taking ass shots

That can be a good thing--early on in our tenure at our current barn, I was riding outside on a windy day. As we approached the gate of the arena, a GIANT tarp flew straight up in the air above our heads about ten feet in front of us. I prepared for last rites, but Courage didn't even blink.

Tarps aren't scary.

But character doesn't exist in a vacuum either. It's not secret that Courage LOVES his Eskadron bandage liners. I bought him sweet XC boots that are air-ventilated with non-slip lining. Pretty great idea right?

super cool boots

WRONG.

Guess who hates non-slip interiors with every fibre of his sculpted body?

Yeah he bucked more in his one attempt wearing these than I've seen him do in the rest of his life together. Put him back in polos and liners, BAM, bucking gone.

matching game on point

It's no secret how sensitive Courage is--I've gone on and on about how if I drag my shit to the barn, he will promptly lose his. This year, I've worked very hard on zen-master status, but Courage has taken to reminding me that he has shit too, and he'll flip it just whenever he pleases.

You doubt? I went to catch Courage out of his field the other day, which is something we do every.single.day. with zero issues. He ate the cookie I offered, then flung his head up and FLEW backwards like I was a horrible horse abuser.

I didn't react.

Then he walked off, flicking his ears back at me.

I talked to my friend and didn't look at him.

He walked a fifteen meter circle and stopped at the furthest point from me.

I chatted and laughed with my friend about her horse.

He walked between us, stopped square, and looked DIRECTLY at me.

We pretended he wasn't even there.

He walked forward and stopped a little closer to me.

I took one slow step towards him.

He pinned his ears and moved off briskly.

I went back to chatting with my friend.

He stopped on the far edge of his circle and looked at me.

After about 10 minutes of his YOU CANT CATCH ME CUZ WILD STALLION PLZ CHASE antics, he walked right up to me, I haltered him, and we went to work.

In every line of his body, you could see him waiting for me to get mad, chase him, give him ANY excuse to go flying around like a lunatic.

yeah i cherry picked a better shot

It was basically the same routine under saddle. He had decided that he wanted to pick a fight, so he blew sideways (because trotting omg) and DARED me to do something about it. I didn't kick. Didn't pull. Didn't react. Just kept posting around the circle.

It wasn't our best work ever. Trotting on a floppy rein with his nose poked out is not wildly attractive, BUT you know what he didn't do?

Flail. Bolt. Spin. Rear. Or even buck.

yeah not posting a shot from going right

It's taken over a year, but we finally got through a day of OPINIONZ without any major theatrics or trainer rides to prevent them. That. Is. Huge. Last year, he couldn't have kept it together. Last month, I couldn't have ridden through it without having a full personal meltdown. Instead of giving up on each other, we've just kept trying and figuring each other out.

It's still not always pretty, but we got it done. The "look of eagles" comes at a cost and maybe finally, he's decided that he can trust me a little, even when he doesn't want to, and things will still be ok.

Body Clippers Rundown

I've had a couple of requests to do posts on clippers and clipping, so here goes. If you have decided to clip your horse, you then have to choose what you are going to clip with. I've clipped a lot of horses with a lot of different clippers, and here are my thoughts:

Oster Clipmasters (Variable Speed and Not) 
Smartpak $280

You know all those horror stories your hear about clipping and how horrible and itchy and awful it is? THESE CLIPPERS ARE WHY. I hate them. I HATE THEM. MAY THEY BE BURNED WITH THE HEAT OF A THOUSAND FIERY SUNS.

Ahem. Just below the head of the clippers (the black part), you will note two black slits in the casing. This is the fan that keeps the clippers cool BY BLOWING HAIR DIRECTLY INTO YOUR FACE.

I am not even kidding. I have probably clipped 5-10 horses with this model and it is every bit as bad as you might think. Tiny pieces of cut hair get into every crevice of your body.

They're loud. They're heavy. They break a lot. I don't think they get hot any faster than any other clipper, but if I never use these again, it will be too soon. DO NOT BUY THESE CLIPPERS.

I mean, if you get a steal of a deal and you only clip one horse once or twice a year and you have an unhealthy dose of self loathing, by all means, buy these. If, on the other hand, you don't hate your self, try ANY of the other options below. Seriously. ANYTHING is better than these.  You may think I'm exaggerating, but this is precisely how I feel about them. They do get the job done, but you will hate yourself for doing it.

Noted: this seems like a fairly simple engineering issue to fix. I have no idea why it hasn't been addressed. I have used old models, mid range models, and brand new models and they all suck(blow) equally.

Andis AGC Super 2 Speed with T84 blade
Smartpak $170

This petite little clipper was recommended to me and I found a new set on eBay for $120, so I snapped them up. It was a deviation from my usual tack whoring, but I feel passionately about clippers. I used these to clip C-rage this year and then used them as back up on a couple others.

The clipper body is actually just normal little clippers, basically. Stick a #10 or #15 blade on these suckers and bam! Face clipper. The T84 blade is wide enough to make body clipping not a bad deal.

Clipped with Andis

Here's the thing though: They aren't fast. The point of the ginormous body clippers is that they basically clip as fast as you can move your arms. These clippers clip at their own speed. If you're working on a twitchy TB fresh off the track who has no hair, these are THE SHIZ. Courage fell asleep while I used them and I sort of think he couldn't handle full on body clippers yet.

That said, I used them to back up my big clippers on a drafty cross and it was zero fun. ZERO. They were getting the job done, but it was going to take forever and the drafty didn't mind the big ones, so we just used those. I will say that the blade doesn't hold an edge as well as I would like--after doing a trace on Courage and a couple spots on the drafty, they really need to be sharpened before they can be used again.

So. If you have one fine haired horse, BUY THESE NOW. If you have a hairy horse and want a multi-purpose clipper and either only do an occasional trace clip or are ok with having multiple blades and taking way too long to do your body clips, also buy these. I'm quite impressed with their versatility for the price.

If I had a hairy yak, they would not be my first choice. That said, they will eventually get the job done and your nose will not be full of hair. Winning!

Star

Lister Legend Clippers (and Lister Star)
Legend: ValleyVet $290
Star: ValleyVet $240

A barn buddy got the Legend clippers last year, and it was love at first clip for me. These things are incredible. They are fairly loud. The blades are not interchangeable with the Andis/Oster models and their system to grading the blades is a little confusing at first. Noted: you body clip with a medium blade. Not the coarse or fine. Found that one out the hard way, haha.

The blades are also more expensive--$50 instead of $20.

That said.

OMG.

BUY THESE CLIPPERS NOW.

Legends

They are workhorses. Last winter, I think we clipped FIVE FILTHY, DISGUSTING horses on one set of blades and they were still going strong at the end. These clippers must have a fan but it has never, not one single time, blown hair into my face. They basically take all the unpleasantness out of clipping and just leave you with the time and comfort to finish your horse out properly.

Clipped with Listers

I have not used the Star models, but my research indicates that they are basically the cheaper Legends. That means they aren't designed to do multiple horses a day, so they heat up a little faster. Oil/lube frequently, give them quick breaks (while you brush the hair off the horse), and clip away.

I actually intended to buy the Lister Legends when I set about getting my own clippers this fall. They are that good.

If I were planning to just clip my one or two furry horses a couple times a year and maybe help out a friend here and there, I think I would buy the Stars. They are cheaper than the hateful Osters and they do a great job.


Andis Heavy Duty Corded Horse and Cattle Clipper
Amazon: $350

I was all set to pull the trigger on the Listers when these beauties came along on Tack of the Day. Andis' site lists them for $650, but Amazon always seems to have them for $350. I paid $300 on Tack of the Day. Regardless, they were well reviewed and I wanted to try them out. They came in a hard-sided carry case with cool gadgets. (Well, oil at least.)

I've only used them once so far, but it was on the drafty horse. I was very impressed. They are quieter than the average body clipper and not super heavy. The grip is easy to hang on to and the instructions for use are easy to follow.

That said.

They have a fan. It blows straight in front of the clipper, which usually clears the hair out in front of where you're working and is ok. Then you do the flanks and you have to clip straight up and yeah, it blows in your face. Not great, but not the worst design. I do like these clippers. They held their edge well, they got the job done, and they work great. That said, if I had it to do again, I'd probably buy the Listers.

These are 1000% better than the Osters, but they don't inspire the same love and devotion in me that the Listers do.

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So there you go. Clippers! I'm (obviously) pretty passionate about clippers. I think I'll do a post about the hows and why of clipping, just because it's fun and I've done it a lot and it's still too cold to ride.

Anyone else? Who wants to argue in defense of the Osters? What other clippers should be on this lists?