Two summers ago, I missed the whole show season after my mare and I had a wreck on XC at our first clinic. It sucked and I spent more time on painkillers than I have in the rest of my life combined. I was antsy and full of nervous energy and bored stiff, but it was so much easier than this is.
I was the one hurting.
I had an end date.
I had a happy, healthy horse.
I had a goal.
|Seems so long ago|
Now? I can't even express in words how much it has sucked to watch Cuna going through this process. To see him in pain and know I can't help. To curtail everything he likes without being able to explain why. To watch my vivacious goofball reduced to gimping around his dry lot.
|The bravest horse|
There isn't an end in sight. There isn't a good explanation for what's going on. I understand bits of pieces of it, but the big picture doesn't make sense. I lay awake at night and obsess over it, but I can't change it and I can't fix it. I can't say I've fixed it and I don't know when he'll be back and at what capacity.
It's an emotional roller coaster, for sure.
|Goodbye sexy dressage body|
I talked to our vet again yesterday to see if he had any ideas to help us along this process. Cuna's diet got a few more changes. His layoff is even longer. I made an intensive chart tracking his progress, feed changes, management practices, and interaction with professionals.
I count little victories. My heart just melts when he whinnies at me for his breakfast in the morning. I have to laugh at his rigid adherence to his routine--he meets me at the gate when his 20 minutes of turnout are up and just about picks his front feet up for the hoof dressing.
I want to actively make things better for him. The hardest thing is just to watch him be uncomfortable and not be able to change anything for him.
:( Hope better times are ahead for you.ReplyDelete
Big hugs to you. We had a horse who had foundered for almost 10 years. It was heartbreaking to watch but so hard to let go. This is just a speed bump in your journey together. We are here for you xxReplyDelete
Thinking of you both, hope things turn around.ReplyDelete
I know how this is :( I really do. To see them in pain and not being able to do anything about it (and in my case, not be able to give him anything for it since his liver had failed). Thankfully I don't think Don's case was painful as long as he didn't eat anything high fat or high protein *sigh* since he couldn't digest very well with a minimally functioning liver. You just see them and think "I wish I could make him speak english just long enough to tell me how much he hurts, and make sure he knows how much I love him."ReplyDelete
It's been ten months since I put Don down. It seems insane to think about most days, since it still feels like yesterday. In August it'll be a year.
=( How sad and frustrating. Poor Cuna and poor you. Hugs.ReplyDelete
Hugs to you both. Thinking healing thoughts.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry he's still struggling. :( Hang in there. We are thinking about you.ReplyDelete
Oh no! Poor little Cunafish. It seems that it's been pinpointed to his feet, yes? I would take pics of his feet and, if you don't want to post them here, maybe email Andrea from Eventing A Gogo--I've emailed her in the past about a hoof issue and she was very helpful/insightful.ReplyDelete
Jingling like crazy for the bug red guy!
Oops, I meant big, not bug! Damn iPhone!ReplyDelete
You aren't alone in this, but it is a painful process, a hard journey.ReplyDelete
So sorry....I hope there's resolution and swift healing soon. <3ReplyDelete
Crap...was hoping things were improving with Cuna. I wish horses could talk!! I hope you guys figure it out and you can get some sleep.ReplyDelete
sorry, he is still having issues, its hard when those we love hurt, especially when we can't have them tell us whats wrong. Hope he gets better soon!ReplyDelete
Can't imagine what you are going through. Hope he feels better really soon.ReplyDelete
I am sorry to hear the Cuna is not feeling his best. I hope that a resolution is closer than you anticipate.ReplyDelete
I am really sorry to hear this :(ReplyDelete
I can't imagine how hard this is for you, but you are in my thoughts, I hope that you get some answers soon and that he improves soon!ReplyDelete
I hate seeing you guys going through this. Sending you lots of healing vibes...ReplyDelete
:( So Sad...HealingThoughts Headed Cunas Way.ReplyDelete
Yuck. I'm so sorry. I hope time off and keeping his vet and feed schedule sorted out helps ... Cunafish needs to be out Doing Stuff!ReplyDelete
So many hugs, grrl. His care package should arrive today - sorry that it wasn't packaged well or anything, I meant to make a card but Lex was in crisis mode most of the weekend too.ReplyDelete
Hearts hearts hearts. Let me know if there's anything I can do.
:-( Sending thoughts your way.ReplyDelete
Hopefully all he needs is time, and although it can be so hard to wait, it will be worth it if he can get better!ReplyDelete
I've been there myself and it is hard to deal with. Sending good thoughts for both of you.ReplyDelete
Here's hoping Cuna man starts feeling better soon!ReplyDelete
The more I think about it, the more this screams "laminitis!" to me. I reread your original post, and the hot hooves w/bounding digital pulses confirms that. I would be putting those hooves in a water/ice slurry pronto. Also pulling shoes (not because I'm a barfefoot whacko but b/c those are AAEP guidelines), getting him into some Soft Rides, and making sure he's on antiinflammatories.ReplyDelete
I would also join Dr. Kellon's Equine Cushings & Insulin Resistance group on Yahoo and put him in their emergency diet. No alfalfa, for sure, and soaked/rinsed grass hay--you want to they the NSCs as low as possible. I know Cuna isn't one of the "typical" breeds that get IR/Cushings, but he is older and that in itself puts him in a higher risk category.
If it is indeed laminitis (which it sounds like it is--it's just inflammation of the laminae), you need to figure out WHY he got it and proceed from there.
Sorry if this seems dramatic, but it might be necessary. :-/ I'm no expert, but I was the "night nurse" for one IR foundered mare & one Cushings foundered mare for many months, so I've gathered lots of info. Email me any time -- email@example.com
Hugs to you & Cuna!
Look at all the support you have! You can get through it and we're all here to help you and Cuna heal best we can <3 from me and B.ReplyDelete
Thinking of you both, and, as always, I'm here for you if you ever need to talk. Call or text or IM me anytime. Sending all the good energy I can muster towards Cuna!ReplyDelete
Again, did you test for Cushings. My full Thoroughbred has it and had two bouts of laminitis. There is a drug to control the symptoms of Cushings.ReplyDelete
I agree with Frizzle that is does sound like laminitis. With my guy there was no rotation, but he was really lame.
Hugs. Hope Cuna man gets to feeling better and that you get some answers about his lameness. I agree that watching our horses suffer is the worst.ReplyDelete
Thinking of you. I hope you're able to find a permanent and happy solution for whatever is plaguing poor Cuna - and soon.ReplyDelete
It may not feel like you're doing anything to help him, but in reality you ARE doing everything you can. I've been in your situation and it SUCKS, but you are being a great horse mommy and Cuna knows it.ReplyDelete
Awwwe, hugs to you both. I absolutely know how you feel and how crushing it feels. It is so desperately hard to know they are uncomfy and if only they would tell us what it was! Stick with it, keep an open mind and know that we are thinking of you!!!ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry. I know he appreciates the time you spend with him, and that is the best thing you can do for him right now. Just love him and give him your time while you wait for your answers. Best of luck!ReplyDelete
Big hugs to you both. Been there and it's not easy. Sending healing thoughts to Mr. Cunafish!ReplyDelete
Hi! I nominated you for a blog award: http://kisforkiki.blogspot.com/2013/06/leibster-award.htmlReplyDelete
Psst, I also nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog.ReplyDelete
I've also nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog ;)ReplyDelete