Teach Me Tuesday: Outside Aids

As I suspect y'all have figured out, Courage and I compete in dressage. (Omg I can actually say that and be like IN FACT YES WE GO TO SHOWS. Cool.) Anyways. There is no spectator assistance allowed, though at the lower levels you are allowed to have a test reader in non-championship classes.

Until this year, I'd never used one. I mean, the tests are published MONTHS (if not years) in advance of the shows and you know what tests you're doing going in and I used to think there was NO EXCUSE for having someone read something you OUGHT to have memorized. It's not like a jumper course where you get to learn on the go. It's literally available for free online for THREE YEARS.

But then there was all the chaos at the show and I only sorta half knew one of my tests and the other one not at all and THEN I found out that I'd been told I'd ride the tests in one order but not was riding them in the other order and so the test I memorized was now second and I had like 38 seconds to learn the test I hadn't memorized and CUE PANIC.

And then this lovely lady offered to read for me. (And they let me ride the tests in the original order, phew).

And wow.

That was really helpful. It was our first out of the year and I was so focused on giving Courage a tactful ride that it was really, really nice to have that little extra check on where I was going.

I'm still too proud to use a reader all the time, but what a relief it was that day.

So how do you feel about "outside assistance" in your chosen discipline? Do you take advantage? Frown on it? Try to get your competitors disqualified?

Changed by a Horse

Usually I avoid looking through old pictures because they tend to be an emotional landmine for me. But hey. Poor life choices happen sometimes.

Regardless, as I looked through things I hadn't thought about in years, I realized that my adult re-rider status can be divided into three very clear phases. 

PHASE ONE: Izzy

This is my first horse. She's a TB/Oldenburg mare that I was given and of course I thought I would have her forever. I was optimistic and naive. She was beautiful but hard to deal with. 

And yet. Even when things were bad, there were days I could get on her bareback and/or bitless and toodle around. Yeah, she was toxic for me and yeah the problems she gave me, I still deal with to this day.

But hey. It wasn't always like that. Back before she scared the shit out of me, we had a lot of fun. Sometimes I kinda miss that self.

PHASE TWO: Cuna

Cuna was the horse that carried me through some of the hardest horsey things. Learning to let go of Izzy, learning to function in the competitive horse world, learning what the inner workings of that world are like, and learning how to navigate what I really wanted out of all this. 

Cuna kept me from walking away from horses and Cuna made sense of all the tangled emotions. That horse, guys. <3

Cheese factor high here, but that horse really shaped the person I am today.

PHASE THREE: Courage

I say Cuna gave Courage to me and I 100% realize how sappy and over-the-top that sounds.

I stand by that. Cuna carried me through the hard horsey things, but now Courage carries me through the hard life things. What we learn in the horse world is really just a microcosmic version of the macrocosm we live in.

With Courage, I'm wiser and stronger than I ever was before. I can take the long view of a situation and decide what I am and am not ok with. It's not that I know how to do everything. It's that I know what I want and what I'm willing to put in to get it. Courage is my grown-up (ish) horse.

Make Show Clothes Great Again CONTEST

We all know I think "horse show clothes" are beyond ridiculous. But then Andrea posted this picture of the sweet Pikuer coat she snagged for a song and I thought "that is the coolest thing I have ever seen someone do in a show coat".

SWAGGER

And then 10 seconds later "I CAN DO SOMETHING COOLER".

So I promptly called up Alyssa and Lindsey and we did this:

i had to actually growl to make this face

so metal it hurts

hair band style

The occasion? Thursday.

situation normal

But why should we have all the fun? WE SHOULDN'T. The obvious solution to this is a sweet contest with an awesome prize.

Show me, people of the internet: what is the most awesome thing you can do in a show coat?

Here are a couple guidelines:

1) You must utilize a show coat in your picture or video.You do not have to own the coat. If you can't borrow one, you can certainly improvise one, but it has to be very out of place and dorky and preferably make you look like a penguin.

2) GO NUTS. Run a spartan race. Ride backwards. Pose with goats. Be a pop star. Make a music video. Find a way to make your show coat fun and cool and enormously dorky. The only real rule is that you can't submit a photo of you actually showing a horse in the coat.

Submit your media entry (photo, video, gif, whatever) via instagram #sprinklerbandits and tag me @sprinklerbandits (to make sure i find you) or email it to me at SprinklerBandits@gmail.com.Entries are open now through 4/25 at midnight, which gives you two full weekends to get this figured out.

#makeshowcoatsgreatagain

OH AND THERE'S A PRIZE

Beka at Straight Shot Metal Smashing generously agreed to sponsor this contest. Winner gets a bridle charm and a bracelet custom made by Beka!!

Impress me, people of the internet.

Mad Tack Scientist

One of the few pieces of tack I will never sell is my beloved Frankenbridle.

yes this pic again

It's a Nunn Finer crown+cheeks, PS of Sweden reins+stops, Ocala Tack Shack custom race noseband, and a Dark Jewel Designs browband in my sportsball team colors WITH my favorite Straight Shot Metal Smashing bridle charm. It's basically perfect. It's very unique, very me, and very worthless.

As in.

No one else on earth would pay money for this bridle. If I had to get rid of it, I'd have to part it out and sell it piece by piece. That means when I have a massive tack change up, this bridle stays put because it's perfect for me and useless for literally everything else.

But of course, while totally acceptable for both XC and the jumper ring, it's not really a conservative dressage look.

I still have my mega-classy Red Barn bridle that I snagged for a song and am quite fond of. But here's the thing: it's a padded monocrown, which really limits the amount of Franken-ing available to it. 

Like. Whee! I changed the browband.

It is a good, classic look for Courage and it's very nice quality and I'm happy with it and all. But it's not "me", you know? 

Then things started changing. 

Our enabling friend gave me a niiiiiiiice white padded cavesson, but it needed to go on a bridle with a standard crown. I borrowed one of those, but it was super old and cracked.

mmm but so classy amiright

So then I went out of town to a real tack store and found a cob-size crown with horse-size cheeks that I thought I could live with. 

or like. not.

Problem: while the thinner cheeks are SUPER classy, the throatlatch is THROTTLING him and the whole thing is just NQR.

We obviously can't show in NQR with a non-breathing horse, so we borrowed ANOTHER crown from Lindsey for the last horse show.

ooooo comfort crown

That got the job done, but for some strange reason, Lindsey doesn't want to part out a perfectly good bridle and just sell me the crown and if I'm being SUPER picky, I think the cheeks are a little too wide for what I'm doing here. I like narrow cheeks on my small-headed horse, ok?

And then as long as we're playing Franken, it was time to try on a drop. It's not my favorite look in general, but it does kinda work on Courage's face. (I rode in it. Verdict: horse doesn't care if he's in a loose drop or a loose cavesson. Loose is key.)

I scoured the internet and finally came up with a decent quality bridle with kinda-ick browband and noseband with a totally fine crown and cheeks. Paid for it. Got tracking.

And then another friend sent me a fun box of toys that included a Red Barn drop noseband bridle with a padded BUT not integrated crown.

Ok at this point I realize you're like "SB YOU ARE LITERALLY CHANGING TWO BLACK STRAPS THAT NO ONE EVER LOOKS AT" and you're not wrong. But. You're also not right. The cheeks are a little wider than I'd like on this look, and I just feel like the wide, white-padded nose with the buckle cheeks is a LITTLE too busy. Not a lot. Not terrible. But a little.

So internet bridle shows up. The browband and cavesson are not attractive (but who cares, I have my own), the leather feels well maintained (yay!), and the cheeks are like an inch too long because the sizing is whacked.

BUT

The throatlatch was long enough, so I took the crown from the internet bridle, the cheeks from the tack store set up, the noseband from my friend, and the Topline Leather browband. Oh and and eBay-steal Dy'on reins with rolled fronts, hand stops, and inside rubber lining.

BAM

I bring you the dressage version of the Frankenbridle! 

Hard Things: Competitiveness

I used to think I was a good rider.

Then I worked in a barn full of very good riders and realized I wasn't really all that good, especially when riding a horse I was terrified of. 

whoops

Now I ride a horse I'm not terrified of and I desperately want to be a good rider, but I'm starting over in a whole new discipline and it's HARD. In my mind, there's nothing morally wrong with being an average rider, but there's a lot wrong with being an average rider with an inflated self-image. 

So I struggle. 

I struggle because I see people take horses that are greener than mine and do things we can't do. I struggle because people take goals of mine that I've worked towards for months and dismiss them as a backup plan for their more-talented selves. I struggle because no matter what I do, someone is always going to do it better and more easily than I do and because I know that no matter how hard I work, I'll never be the best, fanciest, or most competitive.

It's soul-destroying to put this much of myself into something I really, really want and know deep down that I'm not going to beat someone who works less but has more talent. 

And sure, I know I'm not supposed to compare our progress with someone else's, but on some level, I have to. There's too much to this stupid crazy hobby to try to go it alone with blinders on and not take a good look around at who's there with you. 

I believe firmly in competition, especially in smaller-circuit areas with limited access to outside influence. It is way too easy to get sucked into a tiny, inbred community and lie to yourself about what's going on without the moderating influence of judges and trainers who see horses all around the country. 

It's bloody hard to sit here and feel less-than-adequate and watch other people pass us by. 

I know I have to get over myself. I know this is a hard life lesson everyone gets to learn, but "life isn't fair and sucks to be you" is not anybody's favorite to work on. 

So yeah. Sometimes I have to remind myself that when other people do well, it isn't taking away from whatever I'm doing. I am genuinely happy for them. I of all people know how hard it is to plug away day in and day out and not feel like you're getting anywhere and I would certainly never suggest skipping a celebration when things do start to click.

And more importantly, I know times like this give me the understanding to come alongside and encourage someone else who is struggling without being a weird asshole about it, because I've struggled too and I know what it's like.

I just wish I could learn all those things without feeling it quite so acutely. 

Road to First Level?

Because Courage is eh, let's say "pressure adverse", we spent all of last fall/winter/spring until last week just going as slowly and methodically as possible through the babiest basics of training level.

Like.

We spent six weeks WALKING this winter. Free walk, medium walk. Rinse. Repeat. FOR SIX WEEKS. And yes, I ride like 5-6 days a week. In case you're keeping track, that is a SHIT TON of walking. Oh and. We went like 2-3 MONTHS without cantering. Because someone couldn't deal. So we didn't deal. We walked and walked and walked and when we FINALLY could, we started trotting.

January

Whee! Trotting is so exciting.

Too exciting, it would seem. Courage is completely re-learning how to use his body. That's a good thing, but it's also an explosive thing. And it causes pressure. And remember, he is "pressure adverse".

Sooooooo even when we adding trotting back in, we kept the trotting slow. We rode under the rhythm for weeks. MONTHS. So slow. Lots and lots and lots of bending. Transitions. We never rode a straight line. Circles. Bending. Downward transition. Bending. MOAR BENDING. COUNTER BENDING. ALL THE BENDING.

he learned his body can do this

All very, very slow.

Most of this was in the indoor, which was good because it's tiny and makes the under-the-rhythm thing feel less pained than it really is. But then we moved to the outdoor and I tried to do bending AND forward.

That was a flail.

MOAR SLOWER.

Truly, this is what makes Courage so hard to ride. He's obviously capable. I'm not stupid--I can watch our videos and say "wow, he's not really using his back or going forward and once he's forward a lot of the connection problems will take care of themselves", but the ability to recognize that isn't the hard part.

The hard part is explaining it to Courage at a speed he's comfortable with.

Which is slower. MOAR SLOWER. YOU SLOW DOWN. NOW GO SLOWER.

I was really excited when we finally got to work on lengthen trot in a lesson. I was less excited when it was pointed out to me that the lengthening we got was basically just the working trot I need. For like. Training level. Which is not the level we are trying to get to.

Headdesk. Go us.

But instead of curling up in a ball and deciding to give up on this whole dressage thing (while keeping the precious, of course), I've been asking for just a little bit more. After all, we've done MONTHS of basics, right? Maybe Courage is ready for just a leeeeeeeeettle push?

Redheadlins came out this past Saturday and took some video for us. It's mega boring (look! SB is trotting in a circle!), so you can watch it here and here if you want, or just look at the screen shots below, which is what I would do.

tracking!

hock action!

What I liked was that I finally rode Courage forward and he dealt with it.

What I disliked was that I threw any sort of "roundness" or "connection" out the window. I mean, it was the expedient choice at the time. I know that if I throw too many new things in Courage's face at one time, he won't deal with it.

But is it so bad to want to look at a picture of us and be like "yeah that chick looks like she doesn't always suck" instead of just apologizing for all the things I know I'm doing wrong but can't fix right now?

Jury is out on that one.

Then Redheadlins came out again Sunday. I had watched our videos and I decided that if I had to let go of the forward thing, I would, but I need to step back a little and really just focus on getting a little roundness. (DQ alert: yes, I know you can't be "round" without being "forward", but until C learns the training scale, I will keep doing "a little bit of this/a little bit of that" and finessing and trying not to die.)

So anyways. Project Keep CRage From Sticking His Nose Out Like a Pony happened Sunday. He was tired. I was tired.  We started slow. We discussed my aids and how he would respond to them.

BAM. (Yeah I know--I finally have a normal trotting picture BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK TO GET HERE.)

I was so pleased. Courage not only acquiesced to trotting like a grow-up horse, but also when I asked for a lengthening, it happened.

four off the floor

It's not automatic and there's always room to improve. I'm not apologizing. This was a damn good ride for us and I am so proud of how far C-Rage had to come to have this ride.

If you watch our (also mega boring) videos (here and here), you will see that we spent a large percentage of the ride working in the canter. And that the canter is kinda yuck. I am also not apologizing for that.

I mean. We spent literal months not cantering this winter and finally now in mid-ish April, Courage is in a place where we can start working on the canter without him trying to leave. It took us that long to get here. Now we can get started. That's good enough for me.

We can skate by in training level sorta. I don't know if I can get his canter to a place that it makes sense to show in first level by next month. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe we're doing another year at training level while I get this sorted out.

But maybe the road to first level is finally starting to look like something we can accomplish.

And THAT is really exciting.

Introduce Yourself

I tend to get stuck in a blogging rut--I read the blogs I read and write for the people I know, and don't always have the time to go exploring on new blogs and find new people. Since I suspect I am not unique in that respect, let's take a day to get acquainted.

HAI

Hi.

I'm the SprinklerBandit.

Courage is my 11 year old OTTB gelding (Lord Carson x Lori Gail (Explosive Bid).

mmhmm

We've been together almost three years.

Together, we're working towards our Bronze medal in dressage.

One thing you wouldn't expect about us is that we actually have no expertise with pressurized irrigation.

My blog is at http://iamthesprinklerbandit.blogspot.com/ (obviously).

and this is the precious

I love meeting new people and refreshing my knowledge of old ones! Jump in and introduce yourself. I'd love to find some new blogs to read and hopefully meet some new people, or at least learn some unexpected facts about the ones I already know. ;-)

Conversation Tips for Non-Equestrians

When horse people get together, the talking is effortless. There are so many shared struggles and laughs that it just breaks down boundaries between age, gender, class, race, and profession. Let's face it: we're all basically 12 year olds with a pony and life is AWESOME. That is super easy to talk about.

This post isn't for you.

This post is for your supportive friend or SO who tags along to a lesson or social event. All of a sudden, they're awash in a sea of (mostly) women who (mostly) only care about horses and who (mostly) only want to talk about horses.

Even if you don't know thing one about horses, these people are really easy to talk to. Let me show you how.

1) "Your horse is pretty."

just say it

You can never go wrong with a compliment. Even if the horse is a total asshole and she's on the brink of selling him, she kept him to this point for a reason. And if he's already for sale, GREAT. She likes that he looks marketable. There is the one-off oddball (CARLY) who doesn't think her horse is pretty, but she's going to be entertained that you hold a different opinion and certainly be willing to talk about that.

Bonus: horses don't actually care if they're pretty or not (by and large), so you aren't creating long term gender-gap issues for them by commenting on their appearance.

Note: if you're not the sort of person who says "pretty", you can substitute a number of other complimentary adjectives here--"powerful", "expressive", "fancy", or frankly, even "large". Just say something nice and the horse person has already started talking. Score 1 for you.

2) "How did you get started riding?"

cough and was it with purple boots?

People love to talk about themselves. Everyone comes to horses in a little different way, but they all ended up spending obscene (for their budgets) amounts of money on an accident-prone quadruped with compactors for feet. If you really can't stand horses, pretend the horse is a dinosaur. BAM. Interesting. Why did she tame the dinosaur?

Bonus: This just invites people to tell stories and lots of stories are interesting. I also think people are interesting, but ymmv on that one.

Note: If you're at a Parelli gathering or carriage-driving party, copy/paste the world your SO uses the most often and run with it.

3) "What are your goals with (horse)?"

is this a goal?

This question might take a little understanding, but few people who go to a horse party or hang out at a barn just have a horse for warehousing purposes. In fact, if they do, they should be easy to spot by their willingness to talk to you about LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. Those people are not real horse people and you do not get SO bonus points for talking to them, unless your SO is dodging them.

So. Ask what they're trying to accomplish and all of a sudden, instead of hearing the minutiae of crossrails or renvers or something else unpronouncable and dull, you're hearing about Derbies and Competitions and Dreams and Plans.

Bonus: If you're a people person, this is another great way to learn about people-as-they-relate-to-horses, instead of just hearing about horses.

Note: This question somewhat pre-supposes that you've already asked a preceding question that gave you ponykins name. If you did not (or just plain forgot), just say "your horse" and smile because who doesn't love that little moment of realizing that they own a thousand pounds of pure muscle?

you might meet an Alyssa of your own!

The great thing about these tips is they work for all types of non-horse people. If you're a people-loving extrovert, it creates a few simple openings to learn about the people around you and engage with them. If you're a people-neutral introvert just trying to fill enough silence to avoid the appearance of awkwardness, you've asked a leading question to get someone to talk and fill air time for you. What's not to love?

Those are my starter tips. What did I miss?

Update on the Precious

Aside from occasionally crawling into dark spaces and muttering "It came to me. My own. My Precious," while stroking my new saddle, life is going on pretty much as usual.

Well. If usual means basically liquidating the entire tack hoard to pay for the precious.

haven't shipped the actual soul yet

Every once in a while, I cringe a little and think about trying to keep something

cough gollum cough

But the fat hobbit, she knows. Eyes always watching.

Mustn't ask us, not it's business. Noooooo.

See, as I create invoices for the latest lovely thing to find a new home, I look at pictures of me riding my green(ish) horse on his first out of the year.

And instead of feeling like butter scraped over too much bread, I see an open hip angle and a solid leg. The precious isn't the bridles or the boots or linen collection. It's the saddle.

yes in tails

I found it, I did. A way to get the saddle. Orcs don't use it. Orcs don't know it. They go round for miles and miles.