Saturday, June 5, 2010

Frustrated Emo Rant

I have had a really, really crappy week. Tuesday my car broke and my horse tried to buck me off. Wednesday we found a suspicious lump on my beloved corgi. Thursday was tense, waiting to get to the vet. Friday my horse was an idiot and the vet bill for my corgi was $300, probably with more to come and we're not even sure what's going on yet. Oh, and the cows got out.

Saturday I find out that Izzy apparently screwed herself up pretty badly running around like an idiot and her right front knee is grapefruit sized. She's sound, but it's not pretty. Cathy recommended light riding as the best thing to do since exercise should help the swelling go down.

Riiiight. Of course, Izzy had another total idiot day. I just can't catch a break this week. I'm angry and frustrated and just want to throw in the towel. I know that Izzy's probably still upset about the cow incident, but I'm just having a bit of a rough time right now and she's making it worse.

For sale: 16.0 hh black bay 2003 mare, Oldenburg x TB. Does basic dressage, started over jumps, trail rides and has jumped around on a cross country course. Intelligent, athletic, and drop dead gorgeous. Clips, loads, and stands for farrier.

I think I'm kidding, although it is tempting. Part of me says that I could easily sell her to someone who wants to use her to her full potential and buy something easier to ride and slightly less athletic. The other part of me knows that the first part is an idiot and I really do like her, most of the time. Are all relationships like this? I'm looking at an extreme love/hate dichotomy right now.

So I don't know what to do tomorrow. Part of me hopes it rains so I don't have to ride her, but the other part knows that I just need to keep getting on and working at it, or things will never get better.


  1. She may also be picking up on what you're feeling, and combined with her own feelings (cows!) that may make her uneasy - mares are that way! Things will get better!

  2. I agree that she may be picking up on your mood. Horses are very good at being able to read our body language. Since you're part of her "herd", if you're worried or upset, she will be too. It's self preservation to her. After all, whatever is bothering you might decide to bother her, too. I've learned not to ride sensitive horses if I'm in a bad mood, it usually turns out badly. A day off may be just what you both need. Good luck. It will get better!

  3. When it rains, you can be certain most times it will pour. Thinking happy and healing thoughts and prayers for you and your 4 legged kids. What I know for absolute sure is never make these kinds of big decisions in the midst of the storm. Let things settle down a bit then reassess things. Hang in there :)

  4. There's certainly NOTHING wrong with taking a break, especially when you have so much else going on. This is supposed to be fun, right?;) The way I look at it is that I spend waaaay to much time, money and energy on this "hobby" (ugh, that so does not seem like the right word!) to have it be unenjoyable. That doesn't mean every moment has to be great and fun and whatever, but it does mean you should do what you want to do at the moment. Usually these things are cyclical, at least that's what I've found. If enough time passes and you're still not happy with where you are, then you can reevaluate.
    Anyway, just some unsolicited advice from someone who's been there;) Hope things turn around for you soon, and your Corgi is ok!

  5. When I read this it totally sounds like one of my blog posts. Don't sell her! Work through it. If I can make it work with my totally green, wild, BROKEN, TB you can make it work with beautiful Izzy! I have those days, weeks, months. Smile!!

  6. There's nothing wrong with a freak out here and there! You don't give yourself the credit you deserve! I sense that you are a good, athletic rider. Of course nobody likes an idiot but she must have her reasons. I have total faith that you will figure it all out. I agree with Nicku, sometimes when it rains it pours. I can't tell you how many times I've driven home from time with my mare in tears!! But then it passes!

  7. Hang in always swings back into the good.
    Take a day or two and maybe just go out there and be with your don't have to ride her to enjoy her. It may calm you both down. Focus on you right now and she'll reap the benefit.

  8. And, I hope your Corgi is OK. My Mason has a lump too and it's very very scary. Although his is 'just' a fatty tumor and he's had it for about a year..I'm not sold that it's not problem some and I just want it to go away.

  9. Did we eliminate ulcers with Izzy? Treating Tucker made a huge difference in his behavior.

    Stress would trigger erratic behavior if so.

    Don't give up, regardless. Izzy is a talented, beautiful girl. She is worth all the frustration.

  10. Horses have bad days, just like we do. When they outnumber the good for long periods of time, Then it is really time to reconsider. My mare is getting in better shape and will be starting under saddle soon. I'm hoping for a lot of good days.

    Consider this the rain. Every plant needs some rain in order to grow. Look for the good things you are learning from all of this. Makes it a bit easier to bear and know that things will get better.

  11. Yikes! I hate frustration ... and the need for patience...I'm sorry for ya!

  12. Its totally not wrong to feel that way and ALL relationships ARE like that. Life is a rollercoaster sister. You just have to hang on. Certainly don't sell your mare, but do take some time off. I agree that she senses your mood and you don't HAVE to ride/work her when things aren't fun. Sometimes its better for everyone to take a break.

    Chin up. I'll be thinking about y'all (Corgi and Mare included)


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