Mares are the Worst

I swore off all mares and especially black mares after the Hellmare. Mares were supposed to be loyal and personable and perhaps hormonal. I mean, I guess you could say she was personable in that she definitely hated me and made every day hell.

But now I have a black Zoebird mare.

What's better than a champion dressage baby mare? 

ZB <3

Having that same baby mare be the sort of superstar that you can also hop on bareback and toodle around on because you're working late and it's dark and cold and saddles are the worst, man.

I've never had a horse like her.

Now I wonder how I ever lived without her.

and how it took me this long to get her a nameplate

I tell myself that toodling is to keep her brain fresh and give her developing body a rest, but it's as much for me as it is for her. I love sitting on her comfy back and just letting all the tension from the day melt away. I can't get over her wide-eyed, enthusiastic enjoyment of the world around her.

O HAI ZB

We've only known each other seven months now, but time loses a lot of meaning when you just fit together. I'm excited for our plans this year. I love showing up at the barn every day. It melts my (cold black tiny) heart when she whinnies at me as I walk up.

#messyhairdontcare

She's everything the Hellmare never was.

I've never been so happy to eat my words.

Hos Gonna Ho (Part 582,671)

Well. 

So.

A lot of you are being all "frugal" and "admirable" and "responsible" and saying shit like "oh yeah totes not shopping because of [insert adulty reason here]".

I would never presume to denigrate that sentiment because we are all on different journeys and your path might not be isn't mine.

I do respect your choices though, and I want to demonstrate that to you by sending all the things I thought about lately and REALLY WANTED but DID NOT ACTUALLY BUY. (Well ok I mean not "all the things" because that list would be daunting, but here's a good sampling of things I wanted to pull the trigger on BUT IN FACT DID NOT).

This TOTES GORG blue stripe set from PS of Sweden

This BLOODY BRILLIANT set by Le Mieux

This trophy I clearly deserved

This horse statue

this to-die-for OS purple double ombre patent leather Otto Schumacher browband

Or the thoughtfully-detailed matching custom purple Otto Schumacher bridle

Even though there was a DROOL WORTHY Mattes pad to match

and none of these hats

not this jackalope

nor these highly-appropriate socks

I know you're sitting there like "omfg SB! You are a model of frugality and moderation!", to which I'd say in the face of such temptations, I did pretty damn well. Particularly given how bad I wanted everything Otto.

One or two of you might be like "but think of poor ZB! She has almost no things at all and she probably doesn't even think you love her and and DIDNT I SEE A SWAG BRAG PIC ON SOCIAL MEDIA?"

Well yes. I just wanted to be sure you understood that however much money I may or may not have spent at a tack store, it was still far, far less than it might have been. (Particularly if Otto had just jumped off the rack into my pile.)

yeah this pic

I traveled to a city with a big local tack store. I knew I kind of wanted a particular set of boots for ZB and I kind of had an inkling that I wanted to touch halters. I took my (total shopper) sister with me. Girl doesn't know horses but she knows shopping and quality.

That escalated quickly.

I mean, it started pretty innocuously. I found a pair of Kerrits gloves on clearance for like $10.

Put it in the pile.

also pictured: excellent taste in socks

Plus then there was a $90 pair of Majyk Equipe hind dressage boots in white on sale for $25, and I'd be stupid not to get them. (Pro tip: admitting the truth to yourself that your drafty baby needs large front boots and XL hinds might sting initially, but you can find killer deals on dinosaur sizes.)

So they went in the pile. 

...don't overanalyze this

Then it was grooming basics--hard to say no to a purple tail brush and matching curry mitt. Just a couple of bucks, right? 

PILE. 

I touched saddles (they comically topped out at a wide, which like, giggle snort, ZB could maybe wear as a hat except her brain is real big too) and taught non-horsey sister about French vs German vs English leather. She is now a French snob. 

Then we played with bridles and I DID NOT buy the loooooovely edgewood that was screaming my name. I waltzed right past it into the leather halter section. 

(See how many things have not gone in a pile?) 

this was tasty

I'll be honest and admit I've never had a Walsh halter and that I've been drooling on them for years and that I have a massive tack boner for flat raised fancy stitch nosebands and that havana leather is my favorite color of leather and that I hate adjustable chins and love nice halters. 

And I don't know, a fancy stitch Walsh halter just sort of fell into my hands. 

You guys. 

It was real beautiful. 

I was just trying to keep the drool off it and sort of stumbling back towards the rack to hang it up and newly-converted-leather-snob sister snatched it out of my hands and was like PUT IT IN THE PILE. 

And I was like "but $!" and sister was like "EVALUATE PILE LATER", so we moved on to the boot section. 

spoiler alert

I touched some things, and then I saw what I really needed. 

I've been in love with those Equillibrium bumpy polo boot thingys since... hahaha. Well. I had mixed feelings on them until I got to play with Karen's and then T and Leah can tell you that I won't shut up about them the lately. 

And remember how I'm learning to accept that my baby horse is kinda giant and needs dinosaur clothes? 

It puts the boots in the pile or it gets the hose again. 

spoiler alert #2

I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW that I then looked at polos and bell boots and helmets and breeches and human clothes etc and added NOTHING ELSE to the pile (that I currently remember). I mean, this was when I spotted purple Otto and browband, but I didn't even let myself touch that for fairly obvious reasons. (Plus leather-snob-sister probably would have had to point out that Otto bridles are way too much $$$ for the quality. Killjoy.) 

Fortunately, my pile-analyzing skills are super fly, so I carefully went through item-by-item and then was like #YOLO and bought the whole thing. I mean. I thought about passing on the lonely pair of ME boots, but it seemed irresponsible not to buy them. 

plus they fit so nicely in the cat bag

And that is the story about how while it might LOOK like I spent a shit ton of money at a tack store, it was really WAY LESS than it could have been. 

Plus omg. The pretties. 

Outfitting a Zoëbird: Part Two

Needless to say, when you go from the cobbiest of cob size OTTBs that ever cobbed the earth to a Percheron cross baby, not a lot of your tack is going to fit.

Like. Less than you'd think even.

i mean. they go on. and they're purple. so they stay.

I did not expect C's boots to fit, but they do. Sorta. As in. Well. ZB has good, solid bone but isn't exceptionally enormous, so the height is pretty ok. She's definitely broader than C is, so boots that overlapped a little on him don't quite close on her.

o hai expensive boots

I do have this fancy schmancy set of Schockemohle dressage boots that I bought for Courage, but by the time I got done dicking around with eBay UK and they actually arrived, I'd already decided to rehome him. (So if you don't recognize them, that's why.) Anyways. They fit just slightly differently than the knock offs and are the best fitting boot I have right now.

I did not expect my boots to work.

I did expect my saddle pads to work.

yeah she thinks i'm funny too

I keep meaning to take a fairly hilarious video for you guys, but essentially, my beautiful Ogilvy wither-relief pads... uh... don't work for a horse without withers. Like. You push one end down and the other pops up. And if you're wondering, no they do not stay under the saddle. Oops.

Fortunately, I have more dressage pads and those seem to work ok for her shape.

and that shape is hella sexy

 Then saddles. 

Yeah. 

I knew my $$$$ Custom was never going to fit her and I know it's idiocy to buy a $$$$ saddle for a baby horse that's going to change shape dramatically unless you can afford to just keep buying them. Which yeah no. Not happening. 

I scrounged up a saddle at a local consignment place that fits both of us well enough but won't completely break my heart to sell when the inevitable time comes. 

sad lil jump pad

Bridles were tricky of course. Zoëbird is actually the same measurement bit to bit over the poll as Courage, but let's just say all of her other dimensions are... larger. If you're counting, yes, that means off-the-rack bridles are out for her. SOB. This is a shopping killer. I ordered her a Nunn Finer Custom event bridle because they let me pick the size of each piece without ever talking to an actual human being. (That's the whole point of the internet. Retailers, take note.) 

hey baby. sad bridle.

Now of course I have already ordered Ms Zoëbird her very own Topline Leather browband (custom specs omg can't wait!) buuuuut the wait time is killer and no matter how many times I'm like BUT LOOK AT THIS SAD BRIDLE WITH NO SPARKLES, I don't get to jump the line (sob) so I needed an interim browband also. Alyssa let me play with her cool new toy from Blackjak Refinery and with my great sense of restraint, I ordered my own immediately. 

rainbow hematite. i think yes.

Haha and remember how I buy every bit I can get my grabby hands on and never sell them and have this life goal of being the crazy bit lady in 30 years with basically every bit that was ever made?

Uh yeah. 

Well like 85% of horses on the planet wear a 5" bit. So my entire collection is 5" bits. And one 5.5" because there was a sale. 

Guess where this is going.

mmhmm

Yeah the "little" D bit in that picture is my lone 5.5". And yeah. It's too small. The eggbutt is a 6" that fits just fine. Jury is out on the ramifications for the bit collection, but it's a strange position for me to be in. 

Oh and halters? Hahahahahahaha shut up. When Roxie's mom dropped Ms. ZB off, she handed me a rope halter and was like "this fits weird. you can have it." 

just. weird. not bad. 

She's not wrong. It does fit weird. It also goes on Zoëbird pretty ok, so we use it on the daily. 

My inner optimist stuck Courage's fancy clinician-style stiff rope nose-knot halter on her...

someone should slap my inner optimist

Yeah it just straight up doesn't fit. Her smooshy nose barely goes in it and the tie throatlatch is BARELY long enough. 

So uh. Possibly there was some late night online shopping that hopefully rectified this situation. I'll keep you posted. 

Oh. And. We're not even talking about bonnets, ok? WE'RE JUST NOT. 

(definitely) let them tame you

I mean. I guess I would have been disappointed if I didn't get to shop for her. Silver lining?

Just Call Me the Halter Girl

I have a thing for strap goods. ( you uh... might have noticed). Quality leather speaks to me, and if you think I've a bridle snob, you've never seen me around halters. Which I own a lot of. For reasons. 

I mean, I'm not sure Courage was even home yet when I ordered him his custom halter. Ocala Tack Shack, cob size, havana with stainless hardwear, english chin.

halter #1 Ocala Tack Shack

It's a great halter--fantastic leather, triple stitched, whatever. Big problem: when I was ordering (like almost 4 years ago), I forgot to specify I needed a throat snap. Hence they didn't put one on. Hence it's annoyed me for probably the last 3.5 years.

However, it's my halter and you don't ride in halters and what the hell, right? It's an $80 halter. I'll suck it up and deal with not having my $2 snap that I forgot to order. 

Of course, then there was the little incident where someone decided trailer loading was a Courage-optional activity and I watched Alyssa flail around for an hour+ with my horse in a flat halter. 

this r how we dressage

And if you've ever used a flat halter, you know that it's an imprecise tool at best. 

Next purchase was the "Bad Boy Halter", aka a knotted rope halter with one of those weird natural horsemanship lead ropes that's uber long.

all 'tude

To me, this halter is a tool. The knots are designs to put pressure on the sensitive parts of the horse. The rope is thin and stiff with some bite to it. This halter says PAY ATTENTION. (also imho given these things, it's ignorant/mean to crosstie in a rope halter and put the weight of the ties on the bridge of the nose where there are knots sitting, but I'm a hater and lots of people do it so ymmv). 

It's not pretty. I don't brag about this halter. However, if I want to do training on the ground or have more control when I travel, this is my #1 choice. Oh and since we're doing some comparison pricing, I think this set up cost me $40ish and came from my local western tack store. 

Things can never just be easy, so next step was when Courage decided that being caught in the field was also a Courage-optional activity. 

And while I agree there's nothing funner than chasing your idiot horse for an hour+ in the hot sun and then walking up to him, only to have him spin and fly away the moment you pull a halter out, sometimes that's not fair to the barn workers who handle him. 

So we snagged a turnout halter with one of those insta-breaking crowns. 

and a fancy nameplate

Again, this halter is a tool. Courage went on an eight week bender of pretending he'd never been caught before in his LIFE and this halter let you just snap a lead rope on him vs playing the OMG WILD MUSTANG STALLION MUCH AFRAID OF HALTER game. (That game is only fun if you're the stallion, btw. Trust me.) 

Then eventually he started letting people catch him again and this halter got stowed in the bottom of my trunk "just in case". For the eight weeks we needed it, it was $25 well spent at a local feed store. 

You'd think that would be enough halters and you'd be right.

Unless your two year old nephew goes to a tack store and picks out a purple nylon halter for your Christmas present. 

why yes that is the cutest thing i've ever seen

Plus. In addition to being literally the cutest thing ever (and super sweet by my SIL), the purple halter made me smile and while it also did not have a throat snap, at least I hadn't paid $80 to not have said snap. 

in the interest of uniformity

Cost=priceless. I adore this halter. 

However. I also despise winter hair and Courage despises grooming, so he gets clipped. I don't know if you've ever tried clipping in a standard halter, but it is a PITA. I've done it. Several times. For I dunno, a couple years now, I've had my eye on a convertible grooming halter, so the horse is normally restrained, but then the throat/chin section completely clips out. CWD makes one, but I wasn't $200 interested. Plus Renate has some choice words about the quality of that product. I've whined about it on and off and never found one that I liked enough to pay for. 

ok

But digging through a bin at Rolex, Leah ran across one and then when I was like "yeah but do I $30 want it" she was all BUY IT OR I SLAP YOU QUIT YOUR BITCH ASS WHINING. 

So that happened. It was $30 well spent. It's double stitched, which makes sense for what it is. It's Perri's leather, so it's acceptable but not incredible. It's brand new and not broken in, but I want it for clipping a few horses a few times a year, not daily use. It'll probably last the rest of my life and be fine. 

And again. That's more than enough halters. Many, many people would happily have one nylon halter for the life of the horse and call it good AND NOT BE WRONG.

Where's the fun in that? 

So Courage and I have been through a lot together and where we are is not where we were and I like having a nice leather halter and dammit that lack of a throat snap still annoys me, even if we've been without one for so long that Courage has forgotten halters can slide on and sliding them on prompts the WILD MUSTANG NEVER BEEN HALTERED response. It's cool. I can fix that.

purple stitching even omg <3

So I did.

That's a Peacock Leather beauty with a bunch of fun custom options, ordered at an excellent booth at Rolex.

AND THEN you would think I definitely had enough halters.

And you would be right.

But the morning after I got back from Rolex, I got a call from a Kentucky area code before the ass crack of dawn. A very peppy sounding lady from Kentucky told me I had won a custom leather turnout halter that I had no recollection of entering for. She even read me the custom options I selected and didn't ask for credit card information, so I figured it probably wasn't a scam and gave her my address.

d'awww

This bad boy showed up. (The halter, not the teeny).

pretty!

It's a cob size, havana leather, brass hardware turnout halter from Central Kentucky Tack and Leather.

That I won.

And I never win things, so that's super cool.

purple is for champions

And no, despite taking/uploading all of these pictures, I haven't totaled up how many halters that is. I just know it's probably more than I "need". 

Overthinker's Dilemma

One of my personal/horse goals for this year is to stop overthinking everything. As a big time overachiever with an addictive personality, that is SO HARD for me and SO BAD for my riding. You have no idea how fast I can go from "I can't catch my horse" to "my trainer just caught my horse" to "my horse hates me" to "obviously I am a bad person" to "I should get Netflix instead of horse and eat Cheetos until I die by myself in a cave".

obviously

But guess what?

That is dumb.

The reasons Courage is sometimes hard to catch are many, but none overly complicated or personal. He doesn't hate me. He isn't having some weird health crisis. He's just a horse in the spring who sometimes needs boundaries and the reason my trainer could catch him was that he thought she was feeding him, which was mildly more entertaining than the weird game he was playing with me.

bad boy halter was busted out

It's the same under saddle--if he spooks or flails or scoots or leaps, instead of going "scary-->bad-->death-->no-->sell horse-->cry", I just ignore it and keep on riding in the moment.

It makes sense (yes I'm overthinking not overthinking things. you're welcome.) because Courage is a horse. Horses live in the moment. They react. They don't think ahead or make plans. He may be kind of an asshole a lot of the time sometimes. He's not capable of conceptualizing hate or horse show plans or goals or the training pyramid, and what's more, he wouldn't care if he was capable. He's too busy living in the moment.

the moment where i bought ANOTHER halter

If I'm going to get through to him, I need to be living and breathing in that same moment. Not six jumps ahead, not crashing and burning my goals for the year, and definitely not deciding which texture of Cheetos I want to be found dead with. Also not fixating on the fact that _I_ couldn't catch him, but someone else could. It's in the past. He's not thinking about it, and if I am, I'm missing out on what's happening right now.

It all makes perfect sense, right?

humor me

It's hard because of the obsessive/type A/perfectionist thing. Instead of constantly rerunning the mental tape of Courage walking up to my trainer with his ears pricked, I take a deep breath and focus on what I am doing right now in this moment (blogging). I remember that bringing emotional baggage to the barn with me absolutely WILL sabotage my relationship with Courage. I know that if I come each day with an open mind and stay in the moment with Courage, I will get through to him and things will get better.

So yeah. Things are not all roses. Sometimes my horse is impossible.

And I am zen (usually most of the time but it's getting better I swear).

this helps zen a little

PS and yes I totally obsessed over this a lot and talked with people who know us and whose opinions I trust and YES I have a plan and NO he isn't dying (at all) or getting sold (despite a few threats).

PPS and that's not to say the cheetos option doesn't come up 1-4 times a week depending. I'm just trying to dwell on it less.

PPPS and also I'm very anti-negative-goals. In general, I say "I want to look up" instead of "Stop looking down", but in this case, I don't want to redirect the energy. I just want to kill it in it's tracks. BAM STOP NOW.