I Tack Ho'ed So Hard

I know, I know. Every time I say that, you think I can't top the last time I said that.

Well.

I can.

I don't even know why you doubt me anymore.

shame on your doubts

Soooooo this story starts back in January when I visited my sister and we skipped through a tack store whilst tossing dollar bills into the air willy nilly (metaphorically).

One thing I saw that many of you were like OMFG HOW DID YOU NOT BUY THAT was this:

make sexy eyes at otto!

I mean. Yeah. It's lovely. But also like a billion dollars and OH YEAH perhaps you remember how ZB fits in approximately off-the-rack NOTHING.

Plus I happen to know that the thing with Otto is that you can order custom but you have to go through a dealer and there isn't one close to me. Also one thing about me is that I have the attention span of a caffeinated gnat, so custom ordering is not in my wheelhouse. I'm an instant gratification girl.

But then you all probably know Stephanie (say with me: THAT BITCH!) who I legit hung out with at Rolex last year and one day on facebook she started this out-of-control thread about ugly custom bridles which somehow segued into her casually dropping the fact that she works for an Otto dealer.

HOLD THE PHONE.

I did what any responsible tack ho would and casually filed that information away for later.

every day is a good day for rolex pictures

lol jk this is me

I immediately messaged her every detail of what I wanted and asked what it would cost.

She for some reason didn't think I was a tire kicker and got back to me all polite and professional and told me the cost.

We'll leave it vague, but let's just agree that it was enough that as a seasoned tack ho who's used to paying for quality, I most definitely threw up in my mouth and was like NOPE HARD PASS LOL WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING THAT TOGETHER.

Buuuuuut

Once you know

And you've had some time to get used to it

And then you think about your life without it

I mean.

The mare legit doesn't fit in off the rack sizes, which means 1) finding things for her is impossible and 2) impulse buying strap goods is dead. Also she's the nicest horse I've ever had, so doesn't she deserve the nicest bridle?

And you know. I'm not showing this year, so what better time to buy a ridiculous bridle than now when I'm not paying entries and memberships?

logic. we has it. 

I messaged Stephanie something mature like YOLO (after several weeks, I'll have you know).

Then the wait began.

I was super patient for like the first 38 seconds.

Then it was pure torture.

I think Roxie's (and Halo's!!) mom got so tired of listening to me that she sent me a link to a purple padded FSS bridle for pennies on the dollar on eBay, which I most definitely bought to kill time.

again with the photo edits

I waited. I waited more. THERE WAS SO MUCH WAITING.

THEN ONE DAY

DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT

THE WAITING WAS OVER

I MEAN NO DEFINITELY DONT DROP IT

BRIDLE PARTAY

Except it also wasn't over.

DO YOU SEE IT

SOBBING

I was hoping to hold off on writing this for a while and be like "everything is awesome!" but it's been a week+ and despite repeated attempts to reach out to Otto, I don't have a firm plan or a ship date for the correct browband and it's leaving a sour taste in my mouth for sure.

I mean. I may be small potatoes to Otto himself, but I didn't pay $$$ for a custom to bridle to get *almost* what I wanted.

mmmm classy

Bright side: I managed to finagle my topline leather browband on and it does look fabulous. And I'm obsessed with the bridle. And it's exactly what I wanted (other than the browband). And it looks fabulous on ZB.

taking a bridle picture
wtf is zb doing

hi zb

yeah now it's not a bridle pic

So anyways. It's in progress and after waiting as long as I did, I am not thrilled to be waiting longer.

Otoh, the bridle is gorgeous and I do not regret a cent.

#goshopping

Oops I Tack Ho'ed Again

(In fairness to me, this one is pretty much 100% Roxie's mom's fault.)

(Ok FINE 60%.)

I have whined repeatedly about how the only drawback to a glorious ZB is that she is a literal tack ho buzzkill. She's a custom bridle size (uh don't ask how many i have right now), a funky boot size (sob), a scary saddle size (omfg), and an 84" blanket (yes at 4 years old and 15.2 tall).

It's not a lot of fun to spend hours digging through backlogs of fb groups and eBay when your odds of success are literally zero. I mean. I started talking to a custom saddle person because y'know, I can't actually buy anything else so I MIGHT AS WELL SAVE UP AND GET SOMETHING REAL NICE. (Actual this is super logical and probably not something I should bitch about.)

I DO WHAT I WANT
also ho shit mare. feel good much?

The point is that I barely shop for things right now. Thus, when Roxie's mom was like "I'm totes going to a Real Tack Store! Do you need anything?", I gave her a list and told her to send me sexy pictures.

she obliged

Sadly, the super extravagant thing I wanted was not available. And again. Good luck getting a 6" bit off the rack EVER. Not that I need a bit. But shopping.

Everyone needs friends like Roxie's mom, because she knows what I like and sent me a ton of pictures and checked sizes. Then she found it:

ooooooooo

Yes that is a purple dressage pad I don't didn't already have.

Of course, then she's like "oh hey there's a matching shirt", but they didn't have it in my size. 

DUN DUN DUN

can you see where this is going

So the next day, I'm obviously in the market for the matching shirt. I go to Riding Warehouse. I find it. The shirt is like $35, which means I need another $20 to use my coupon and still get free shipping. 

I do the only logical thing and start skimming through the clearance section. 

Annnnnnd then I saw it. 

photo via Riding Warehouse

Dream helmet. In the clearance section. In my size. And I've been meaning to get a new vented schooling helmet. And I had a coupon.

AND I NEEDED TO HIT THE FREE SHIPPING THRESHOLD. 

It was the only way. 

I put it in the cart.

I added the coupon. 

I totaled up the fake money sitting in my paypal account from a return (the money is already spent so it doesn't count, right?). 

sad brown ovation needs to be western-only, right?

I texted some of my super rational friends (cough tack hos all) and they were like #yolo. 

That seemed reasonable. 

Plus it will look so good with my new pad and matching shirt.

At that point, I figured I'd done enough damage for a weekend. But it could also be argued that there was a local tack swap thingy that sounded interesting at a barn I'd never been to and hey, I was already awake! Besides, as I VERY LOGICALLY told a friend, it was mostly western stuff. What could I possibly buy? Reins?

Cough.

Finish giggling, then we'll move on.

I dragged the world's best barn dog (tm) to the tack swap and then took FOREVER to walk through and look at things because basically every single person had to admire him. But that means I had a lot of time to think about the first thing I saw when I walked up:

A saddle that looked like it would fit a barrel.

It had some damage. It was priced low to account for it. It looked like it would fit. I hemmed. I hawed. I ran into a local friend who verified that it looked real wide.

Finally I think I annoyed the guy selling it so much that he was like IF IT DOESNT WORK, JUST RETURN IT and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY PLZ JUST LEAVE.

sooooooooo

Just remember.

Friends don't make friends add up how much they spent on tack in any given weekend.

CONTEST TIME

Y'all know Topline Leather as the supplier of some of my most luxe equine tiaras. I have (of course) ordered Zoe her own custom piece, but in the interim, something fun happened.

SPERKLZZZ

SHE GOT UNICORN BITS.

Ok, full confession, these came on the radar back when I still had C and I was SUPPOSED to get a cool one to review and then do a sweet-ass giveaway. Buuuuuut in the intervening time, I got a Zoecorn who of course can't wear normal horse sizes.

Which means no unicorn bit for me.

But y'all still get a chance to win a 135mm (basically 5") loose ring or eggbutt snaffle unicorn bit!

action shot!
photo by  JJ Sillman

The rules are simple.

Go on instagram. 

Post a fail photo (or video) with hashtag #plzshareunicornmagic and tag @toplineleather and @sprinklerbandits. 

Contest opens when this post is published and closes 7 days later, at 7am MST on SEPTEMBER 29, 2017. Best entries will be posted here with link backs to their social media account and the winner will receive a unicorn bit from Topline Leather. 

i want it

Ready. 

Set. 

POST.

SPARKLE FLOWERS

The Firstiest First World Problem

I've been in need of some distraction lately, so I'm sure you're all super shocked I turned to obsessing over tack. 

It's.... happened before... in case you were wondering why I all of a sudden have two patent leather cavessons and a new twist on a blue padded piece, well, that was last month's distraction that just happened to arrive. Don't judge.

Anyways. I have a lot of bridles. Despite what most people think, I'm not a hoarder and I like to keep my options open, so I'd like to have somewhat less bridles. That means I have to tally up the bridles/looks I have and then decide what stays and what goes.

Let's start easy--

BROWN BRIDLES:

Haha well our open show debut prompted this second-most-recent (I think? I lost count) addition to the collection.

yup

Horse size Dover Circuit bridle. Tobacco leather, fancy stitched, plain cavesson, traditional crown. Got it for a screaming deal and this reminds me, I said I'd do a craft project and dye it. Maybe next month. Don't hold your breath. 

Also in the brown category:

do you remember this one? Had it forever.

Cob size Nunn Finer figure eight in havana with stainless buckles. If you're sitting over there like "wtf sb I've never seen this bridles before", well, you have. It just usually looks like this:

frankenbridle

with the custom race noseband and sweet Dark Jewel Designs gameday browband 

OR

topline

this with the fancy Topline Leather sparkles and ebay-find cavesson for when mamma needs a standing, which is always. 

Believe it or not, that's all the brown bridles I own right now. Excluding my western bridle which is sort of tan colored. Whatever. It only half counts. You don't get a pic.

BLACK BRIDLES

Despite my early-life loathing of black leather, I now own quite a lot of it. I'll try to go in order of what I've had the longest, but my memory is only so good.

red barn

There's my Red Barn Capriole bridle, which I think was my first legit dressage bridle that was not PS of Sweden? I don't remember. Anyways. Very classic look. Very conservative. It's the dressage bridle your mother would want you to buy. Accommodates a flash (which I have) and the unused tabs really don't bother me. 

Shown here with my birthday browband from Browbands With Bling. 

I guess next up would be my dressage Frankenbridle.

topline

This bridle is some mishmash of random parts--I think it might be horse size bobby's crown, cob size bobby's cheeks, super legit retro noseband from an enabling friend, and of course one of my crown jewels, the Absolute Courage browband from Topline Leather. Yeah it's named after him. ;-) 

Hmmmm probably next would be Otto, who was already introduced via his own personal blog post, but here goes:

otto

Otto is of course a cool retro Otto Schumaucher bridle with a traditional crown and crank cavesson but no flash. Otto rocks the self-colored braid on the nose and brow and is the only bridle I own with no sparkles. Fun fact: I even bought a pair of plaited (not braided) reins to go with Otto because it seemed like the thing at the time. I like Otto. 

Then there's this contraption:

not my franken

A friend gave me a very fancy custom-made-for-her-horse patent monocrown noseband because it was not made well and didn't fit her horse. I had to borrow a monocrown headstall off her to try it on C. I left the flash on and added sparkles and if you notice he looks a little cranky, it's because even my superstar model OTTB eventually gets tired of head shots. Honestly, I really like the crown this bridle hangs on (but it's a little too big for C) and I'm less in love with the noseband? 

I dunno. Patent is new for me. 

But you can't just try one patent nose, can you?? 

I mean, I was pretty enchanted with the one I tried on C last winter. Noted: I never owned this bridle and haven't actually bought it for myself yet. Do love how it looks on his head.

Fancy!

So that one isn't/wasn't mine, but this one is. I call him Bachelor #1.

whoops

Let's just say I was stress shopping and there was potentially more than one bachelor coming home so they got numbers. Um. It escalated from there and I'll explain later. This is totally a knockoff of that super trendy Otto you see running around dressage shows. I found it on British eBay, tracked it to a uk tack shop I'd never heard of, and got a screaming deal on it. Padded crank, monocrown, decent leather, has a flash, yada yada. Did not love my shopping experience and didn't really have time to get enamored with this bridle. (Hint: if you want it, buy it from me or eBay. Don't waste you life at the tack shop.)

This happened next:

ooooooooo

See, I just so happen to be friends with my browband ladies and one of them heard I was looking for something cool and different and colored and custom and she sent me to Uisce Saddlery.  Never heard of them? Me either. 

However, another friend piled on with the recommendation and when I sent an inquiry on a specific item, the response was prompt, articulate, and polite. Oh and the price was KILLER. OH AND I GOT A FULL CUSTOM PIECE IN 10 DAYS. Not kidding. From inquiry email to product arriving at my door step was ten days. Quality is good, service was incredible, 10/10 I owe them a proper blog write up. 

But see, that's a lot of bridles for a horse who goes in one bit and a snaffle bridle and no flash and don't want his cranks cranked. Plus, as a working adult ammy, I'd like to have 1-2 (ok fine let's be real it's me) 2-3 bridles at the barn to maintain vs trying to clean an entire tack shop's worth of booty every couple weeks.

So. For a dressage horse in a snaffle bridle. What's your favorite and why? What would you sell and what would you keep? 

PS What if I just kept one bridle at the barn. Can you imagine? Would you even recognize me? DO PEOPLE EVEN DO THAT? 

Tack Hos Gone Wild

Hellooooooo internet... It's been a while. I'd say I've missed you, but sort been mid-crisis on a lot of things lately, so not so much on the internetting, much less the missing thereof.

Let's just say it's been an expensive few weeks.

Here's why:

One of my awesome browband ladies (I have two. Because ho.) contacted me a while back and offered to ship me a second that she'd made and disliked but didn't want to disassemble. Obviously, I said "yes".

topline leather goodies!!

Or something less professional and with more hearts and sparkles.

The only catch was that it was on brown leather and Courage only sort of has a brown bridle (and the browband on that bridle was purchased from my other browband lady for very specific reasons and I don't fancy taking it apart). Thus, I pressured Lindsey into helping me on the brown bridle 2.0 search well before the browband arrived.

fancy!

Courage somewhat-compliantly modeled several different brown bridles for me, then we threw on Lindsey's cool new dressage bridle for giggles.

less compliant

By the time we were done, my phone looked like this:

only one of many screens

And we'd definitely established that none of the bridles were quite right.

the pretties!

Then the beautiful browband showed up (love.) and I tried it on the brown bridle I do have. It's supposed to be a Nunn Finer figure eight, but I frankened it out long ago. Sadly, as much as I love my blue noseband with my blue and orange browband, it was uh... less than stunning with pink. 

eww

That started a flurry of searching for the perfect brown bridle at the perfect price, which netted me these things:

ebay steal: smartpak cavesson for $20

ETT-special plaited reins to match otto (wasn't looking, but hey)

invictus half pad because reasons and a coupon

Of those options, the one on top MIGHT solve my problem but apparently it was shipped by mule train. And then the mules went lame. And died. Or cannibalized each other. Probably all those options. Regardless, it's not here yet. 

I tried riding with the figure eight but due to some genius decision making that I'm going to blame on stress, I forgot to bring my running martingale out with it and let's just say that bolty OTTBs in the fall do not go without martingales. Particularly not when they aren't being ridden regularly and a storm is blowing in. See, I sometimes make good decisions, just usually not until a string of bad ones already happened.

fanceh

Which is to say. I barely saw my horse last week. I have a metric ton (actual figure) of fancy shit for him to play with. I've barely touched any of it. And basically every day is Christmas at my house until all this stuff shows up! 

Because once I got all pumped about bridle searching, I ran across a decent looking knock off of the modern Otto Schumacher bridle I've been drooling on since forever and then I ordered that too!

never had patent before

It obviously won't match the new browband, but I have a bonus black browband at the moment plus it comes with it's own and yeah, really can't explain this one other than to say I deserved it after the week I had. It's also not here yet, but given I ordered through a British tack shop in the wee hours of Sunday morning, I don't expect it til next week anyways.

I guess y'all can just be glad that I didn't also purchase this amazing critter from the hospital gift shop.

so stylish! such personality!

Trust me, I considered it.