A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Barn

I found myself off my usual path the other day. And 3 minutes from a cowboy tack store I'd never been to. I thought I'd pop in and see if they had the teal boots I so desperately need to complete ZB's western outfit game.

i really love this picture
sure could use teal boots

They did not. Which is fine. But since I was already so far off the beaten path, it made sense to go just a little farther to see if the next tack store had said dream boots. 

And. 

They did not. 

But what they did have was the purple version of my beloved teal reins. 

You see these reins? They are the shit. Soft and sturdy with little hand stoppers to hang on to. Nice weight, happy colors. If I'm being picky, I'm a purple person, not a teal person, but teal is a really lovely color and ZB looks amazing in literally everything but snooze-fest-navy. 

And yeah, I was looking at them in purple. 

Now I know buying purple reins is the opposite of solving the teal boots problem but here's the thing: when has a little detail like that even slowed me down when I decide to go full tack ho? 

Fact: it has not. 

So then I had purple reins and I was headed back in a more usual direction when I drove past A THIRD TACK STORE that does like fancy custom cowboy shit and that I have never been to because A) it's far away from me and B) while I love playing cowboys, I'm not going to drop $$$$ on a legit set up to toodle around in. 

But on a day like that, why wouldn't I stop? 

she's in as long as there's snacks

Even with the purple reins, I was trying to stay on message. I got a little bogged down debating what local friends I might be able to talk into producing a couple babies so I could justify the ADORABLE child's western saddle I found but even with that, TEAL BOOTS GODAMMIT. Teal. I already have the fancy matching pad. Let's go. 

Do you know what I saw on the shelf at store #3?

o hi

Funny story. 

Purple boots. 

And hey! Guess who just happened to have two thumbs and matching reins? 

I did browse the whole display but there was simply no teal to be found. None at all. 

i mean everything is her color but HELLO

So uh. 

TL;DR I still don't have teal boots but now I need a purple saddle blanket. 

Oh and in a strange twist that I wasn't going to include but here we are, apparently these conchos are a thing that exist and that can be added to any headstall you own. And can be made in any color you want. 

I mean.

So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Much Needed ZB Update

I haaaaate blog posts that start out by apologizing for not blogging, so I refuse to do that to you guys. 

HOWEVER. 

Things have been happening. 

always toodling

blogger meet up!

riding lessons!

definitely my latest zany idea in progress

Plus the weather here has been to-die-for (too soon?) and so my evenings have been out doing all the things vs staring at my laptop typing away. 

There's a lot going on. Most of it doesn't belong here. 

WHAT R ON ZB

But some of it does. ZB continues to be the loveliest lady no matter what I cook up any given day. I can throw frisbees off her, hack out alone in the rain, or take trips and come home knowing that she's still going to whinny at me and be foot perfect to play with. 

I mean. She definitely has her things. 

yeah i'm growing out her mane

In a last ditch attempt to make me focus, my trainer has started semi-mandating weekly lessons because otherwise she knows I just fuck around and screw things up. Which like. She's right. And it's true. And I like lessons. And lort knows I need the help. 

Plus I don't actually have any lesson media (sorry!), but GODDAMN little lady is coming along nicely when I remember to sit up and ride. I even had a moment of being like "LETS GO TO A SHOW" right up until I remembered how much work that is. 

also my corgi stole the mrs pastures and just strolled past me like this
BRB DYING

Some days we work hard and put in the time with ground work and dressage and concentrated "training".

But a lot of days, I need to just not.

oh and a new photo editor

I hang out and breathe her horsey smell. Play with her mane. Groom her gleaming coat. Watch her munch on her favorite weeds and marvel that a creature like this is here with me.

Some things are good. Some things are not good. 

But we're here. 

Together.

Requiem for a Friend

Sometimes we aren't the final landing place for a horse. Sometimes we're just a stop along their way to where they were meant to be. 

hello handsome

That's what a friend told me the other day when we were talking about Courage. 

When I met him, he needed a soft landing and I needed someone to soak up the tears from the looming inevitable. 

I loved him. I wanted him to be my horse, the one that I trusted to take me places and do all the things. He was gorgeous and intelligent and good minded and oh-so-athletic. 

When I needed him to be quiet and put the pieces of a shattered heart back together, he was there. 

But when I asked him to be the horse I always wanted, he exited stage left. Repeatedly. He gave me one good season. One giant champion ribbon. One serious education in what it looks like when a horse tries his heart out for you, but he just can't do it anymore. 

I rode through his antics. I learned to work with his quirks. I gave him a solid education in life beyond the track. 

It was hard to understand at the time and it's only a little easier now. 

just another day

I cannot overstate what he did for me and how he taught me to think through every step. To ask hard questions. To become more than myself and go beyond what I thought I could do. It wasn't always fun. It was never easy. It was blood, sweat, and tears, but the person I became because of him is someone I'm proud to be. 

and i will always love this photo

I see now that in some ways, I did the same for him. He came off the track mentally broken. Failing at a demanding career. Discarded by the people who took the most from him. Wearing physical reminders that he'd never be the horse he once was. 

his last win

He was never going to be the performance horse I wanted, but to be the horse he is now, he needed an in between time to learn that he could try again. 

I felt like a failure when I admitted I couldn't make him be what I wanted and I couldn't make myself want what he needed. 

there were a lot of years to get here

But sometimes life isn't about me. It's about giving an old warhorse a chance at a life he earned a thousand times over. 

When I met his new person, I knew he'd hit the jackpot. He stepped off the trailer at his new home and landed where he was meant to be. 

not gonna lie, i'd like to live in his barn

His owner is a private person and I respect that. I get photos of him once in a while and they make me so happy for him. He's wild and woolly and goes on trail rides in the mountains and never has to jump a jump or do dressage again. 

it's a good look for him

No primping and preening and trying to make him what he's not. No more failing and disappointment for a hard knocking campaigner who gave his all. 

It's not that I failed him or wasted my time. It's that there were things we needed to teach each other before we were each ready to be what we really needed to be. 

forever summing us up

Happy trails, my friend. You deserve them. 

ZB: The Wild West Saga

The last month I owned Courage, I went on a western kick and bought a bridle and a saddle. The saddle of course fit ZB somewhat like a banana boat on the top of a hill.

pictured: rocking chair

So obviously that was never going to work.

HOWEVER.

The bridle. Omg. I was super duper in love with it and I'd LITERALLY JUST BOUGHT IT and the advantage to living where I do is that custom western stuff is super accessible. 

I took this bridle to a shop that's like a mile from my house:

And one highly custom throat latch later, I had this:

well and upgraded slobbers straps #hosgonnaho

Of course, given the saddle situation, the western bridle was mostly relegated to bareback days. 

i said mostly

BUT

OMG

The other day, I walked into the tack room and was greeted by this glorious sight:

UNKNOWN. TACK.

I tracked down the owner, got permission to play with the saddle, and. Well. 

me: the light is perfect
me: ZB strike a pose
ZB: R WANT LOOK OVER THERE

See, once you have the set up all ready, it's time to get on and ride. 

boom. western zb.

Here's a wee secret about me: I am completely terrible at riding western. 

It's never been a part of my daily life. I super admire those people who just effortlessly sit there and flow with the horse and look like they were born in a stock saddle, but those people are so not me. I'm an obsessive detail person who is like HOW DO I WESTERN

The best feedback I've gotten was this: 

"Just. Stop. Doing. That."

STOP DOING WHAT?

"Whatever the hell that is." 

Curious? 

NOW ITS ON VIDEO.

I think it's best described as some sort of hunter perch with my hands singing a discordant duet of FALLING FREE FALLING. Who knows. Props to ZB for being a major sport and just letting me do whatever the hell that is.

Maybe I'll figure it out. Maybe I won't.

The important takeaways are these:

1) ZB is stinking cute as a western pony.

2) We look super legit as long as I don't get on

3) CHECK OUT WHO IS BOSS AT DITCHES

uh possibly we have our own way of doing them

Sagebrush Over Satin

I'm not feeling it on the horse showing front right now. I'm just not. I love riding Zoëbird at home and I'm excited about doing a series of clinics with her and I'm thrilled that I'm able to keep her in part training and that's all well and good.

But like. Nothing about a horse show sounds fun to me right now.

Oh and I've been watching Westerns lately and like.

godless. watch it.

I live in the west. And I have a ranch bred horse.

And that is a literal thing I can actually do.

SO WE'RE DOING IT. (Soon. Snow melting off the mountains as we speak.)

guys she's not even trying yet

Don't get me wrong here--ZB is a talented, good-minded, hard-working lady and the progress she makes in her dressage training every day is phenomenal. And yeah long term I want to get my bronze medal on her.

This isn't me abandoning those goals.

A huge part of getting Zoë to me was finding a horse that I could just flat have fun on. And y'know.

Whether it's our first outside right lead canter....



Or just hanging out with friends on a gorgeous day...



She makes me smile every day.

It's not a sayonara to horse showing. We'll get back to it. There are just so many other fun things to do right now.

I'd be silly not to.

On Falling Short

Kind of a grim topic today, so I'll try to distract you with beautiful photos of Courage as a western horse. 

together

My excellent photographer friend took these gorgeous shots while we played western horse on Saturday. She was supposed to come back out Monday and do some fun dressage pictures because girlfriend freaking rules the world of trotting pictures with an iron fist.

But I rode Courage Sunday just to see how he'd go, now that he's injected and X-rayed and acupunctured and rested.

Some parts of that ride were phenomenal--he turned right like a champion. He was a whole different horse in the contact. His body was adjustable. His back didn't disappear underneath me.

And no matter what I did, his stride was two inches long and he freaked out when I tried to get it any longer.

I could try to play it cool and be like "yeah totes got off and made a plan and was 100% professional about it", but that would be a straight-up lie.

I resisted the urge to immediately cry or call the vet, but I really wanted to both simultaneously while sitting in the parking lot drinking a sad beer. (Possibly did buy 5 pizzas on the way home, but who's counting?)

he's something special to me

It kills me that this little guy is trying so damn hard to do the right thing and he's still hurting.

I know intellectually that there are still options on the table. All this means is that what we've done so far isn't enough.

I know I'm working with a good team and have a great support system. I'm even lucky enough to be in a place where I can throw money at this (not like I'm shelling out for lessons or shows or clinics, right?)

such class

The harsh reality of the situation keeps smacking me in the face.

Courage is 12, which is not old, but it's too young to retire. I can't in good conscience push him through what I know is a pain response. The idea of just mucking around not riding for the next decade makes me want to die inside.

Hopefully the wear and tear on his body hasn't progressed beyond where we can get him comfortable.

Hopefully we can find a way to manage it. Hopefully we have a plan. Hopefully things will stabilize and we have many years of happy adventuring yet to go.

that neck tho

That doesn't make the present easy.

So That Happened

Because I am an eminently rational and emotionally stable person, I possibly had a full-on "omg my horse is permanently broken and will never horse again might as well give up now and just do trails" meltdown.

While on eBay.

You can probably see where this is going.

pretty.

I made a lowball offer on a western saddle that I thought was pretty. I did have a couple western friends including Alyssa) sort of eyeball it and say it might not be utter shit. Because like. I know NOTHING about western stuff. Nada.

I thought the seller would sit on it for a day and then turn me down.

But instead I had a totally reasonable counter offer within about ten minutes.

Did not see that coming.

well now it's in my house

Fortuitously, a good friend and sometime western rider was coming in to town this past weekend.

Which is good. Because you don't just slap a western saddle on a horse. You need all kinds of western shit like a latigo and an off billet and a sweet ass felt pad. Oh and it's mega hard to tack up without a cinch. WHAT SIZE OF CINCH. How would I know.

I dragged said friend to the western-y store and probably killed a lot of her brain cells figuring out what I actually needed (actual quote "so you put the penis thing in the hole? HOW DO SLOBBER STRAPS GO ON")

STRAPS

That got expensive quickly.

And um. Possibly we were feeling up much fancier western saddles and now I'm like "don't want cheapie want real thing", but that's another problem for another eBay meltdown.

Anyways I dragged friend and all the newly acquired shit out to the barn and took waaaaay too long trying to figure out how to put it all on. I mean. I have put a western saddle on before, but let's be real, it's been a while.

totes put a curb on so he'd look badass. totes did not ride in it lulz.

I did a quick lunge for Courage just in case he thought the saddle would eat him or something, but homeboy was fine.

And then I gracelessly flopped into the saddle, realized my stirrups were way too long, almost fell off the side trying to fix them, and finally got them to a different length that is hopefully closer to right.

My horrible hunter perch is bad in a dressage saddle and worse in my western saddle, but Courage was fantastic and western friend yelled at me enough times that hopefully when I get pictures back, not all of them are terrible?

Haha.

Don't hold your breath.

Wild West: Things That Are Awesome About Idaho

I've laughed before about the east/west differences for the horse scene in the US. They are many and hilarious. However, whenever I talk about that, I get lots of people inviting me to move to more, eh, "horse friendly" parts of the country. You know, places where a show 6-9 hours away isn't considered "close".

yeahhhhh can't beat it

It's not that I'm not grateful for the offers (I am!), but I thought I should explain things that are awesome about Idaho/the west in general.

1) Jeans and a hoodie are always socially appropriate. 

governor's cup race night

Not even kidding. I could go to the governor's ball (fanciest event in Idaho) in this get up. I'd have to wear my nice cowboy boots, but I'd fit right in. I guess maybe some people see this as a drawback, but as someone who deeply hates dressing up, I really value this feature.

Noted: If I did this, I would make sure the hoodie was reasonably free from hay. And of course, featured the correct sportsball team. Go sportsball!

2) If your horse is clean with its' mane pulled, you're already over dressed. 

This doesn't apply at rated and recognized shows, but it's totally a thing for everything else. If I had to haul my horse 7 hours one way to a clinic and I knock the manure off before I get on, that's pretty good.

names taken

I realize that sounds like poor horsemanship, but what it works out to are people who are more concerned with the performance of the horse and his general fitness and health than the spit-and-polish details that cranky old men try to use to feel superior to their clientele.

3) Driving is a whole different ball game. 

just another day

I know I talked about the long hauls, intimidating roads, and mountain passes we deal with. That sort of investment creates a whole different kind of driver. If I'm stuck on the side of the road, people stop to help me. If I'm driving a big rig, people not only give me more room, but wave and are friendly because they know not all roads were designed for a 4h gooseneck with full lq.

And they know that because they drive one on the weekends.

4) It's a little (or a lot) redneck, but that git-r-done attitude can be amazing. 

When I go to shows and clinics, I find myself more interested in the ranch horse-giving-pony-rides-who-also-events-at-training than the fancy five or six figure warmblood. I mean. You can buy talent anywhere, but the brain that lets a horse toodle over crossrails with a kid, then gallop clean XC is something to be marveled at.

this horse does not do everything

The family only keeps one horse, so of course it does everything. Why wouldn't it?

5) Camaraderie between barns and disciplines is common.

an eventer, a dressager, and a showjumper and it's not even a bad joke

Forget cutthroat competition and wanton disparaging of that other, obviously inferior discipline. We're all horse people, we're all in this together, and it's a totally normal thing for hunter riders to volunteer at dressage shows, eventers to fill classes at jumper shows, and everybody to get along just fine.

Sure, we have our bad apples and sour grapes, but everyone knows who they are and that they're usually a fine person who's just having a bad day.

6) You can't beat the scenery.

or the company

You know? Green hills and trees are nice I guess, but if I have to choose between that and mountains, it's no choice at all.

I'll just be over here in my hoodie taking it all in.