State of the ZB

This was hands down the easiest equine-related winter for me since I started riding horses.

Here's why:

I didn't.

It was dark. It was cold. I did the math on taking risks driving over snow and ice in my (only) car and risking my (only) body for a hobby when y'know, bills never take a day off (and neither does my job) and it freaked me out.  For the first time in my life, I took a deep breath and said, "horses will still be there in the spring".

plus going in circles is TEH DUMZ

It's not that my beloved ZB was neglected--she's at a lovely full care farm with group turnout and is in training with my most favoritest young horse trainer two days a week. I dropped off board checks and grain and smooshed her smooshy nose and gave her (sugar-free) cookies and (fully-leaded) sugar cubes.

SMOOSH

I didn't clip. I didn't blanket. I'm growing her mane out because YOLO. I've ridden less than 10 times in the last 4 months. My tack is dirty. My trunk is a mess. I haven't bought a bit or a bridle or really anything horse related in the longest time I can remember since I've been an adult.

SO MUCH HAIR

Now it's trying hard to be spring and my head is in a much better place.

Sunny afternoons and green grass poking through the mud just start speaking to me in a way icy roads and dark indoors never do.

so cute

And see.

ZB is still the best horse I've ever had in my life.

look i took one lesson

And I wasn't kidding when I said she changed all my expectations for myself.

why yes my first ride in two weeks was bareback down the ditchbank on my baby mare

And more than that, all my expectations for the people around me.

is that the boy riding the zb bareback?
yes that's the boy riding zb bareback

We're still here.

Life is doing some unpredictable things right now (doesn't it always?). I have a Plan A and a Plan B and a Plan C and a couple ideas for variations on any of those at any given time. None of those plans is rated shows and pressure and "back to the grind" in terms of horse expenses.

Here's to a year like none other.

Winter Sports with Intertwined Technicolor Rings (tm)

You might notice it's been quiet around here.

You might think that's because it's cold AF and I'm sick AF and second winter is the f****** g****** worst.

That's a fact.

However. Champions are made in the offseason or whatever, so here's a medal-level breakdown of activities around here.

fanceh

Halter-plate attaching: SILVER MEDAL

This could have been a craft project if it didn't involve the actual use of tools, but it did and since craft projects involve beverages and tools involve clear-headed-ness, it unfortunately does not get it's own write up. That said. I probably would have done a write up had I gotten to use my beloved air riveter because power tools are where it's at.

Oh and it's technically only silver medal level because I didn't have lock-tight for the chicago screws so I probably need to get some. Annoying.

fanceh

Dressage-practicing: GOLD MEDAL

Ok yeah maybe we only did this once but 1) it was with a media person and 2) ZB continues to blow me away with her willingness and ability to retain information.

CRUSHED IT.

fanceh

Indoor-arena-demolition-derby: GOLD MEDAL

Yeaaaaaaah so if I don't feel like riding (hello 14f this is why you have no friends), I just let ZB wander the arena and knock shit down while I laugh hysterically and take video.

Possibly I am no one's favorite boarder. Possibly I don't care.

fanceh

Bareback-toodling: SILVER MEDAL

Yeah for real I need to do this more.

ha yes zb wins

Mounting-block-fixing-aka-horse-legos: GOLD MEDAL

For whatever reason, ZB's favorite thing in the world is to flip the mounting block over and push it around. I have thus far discouraged her from climbing up on it as well, but she'd be game for that too.

<3

Snuggling-with-teeny-dog: GOLD MEDAL

Buying-stock-in-dayquil: champion of the world

Marathoning-entire-netflix-show-and-reading-two-500+page-books-in-a-weekend-and-a-sick-day: ugh yup welcome to my life.

Hopefully back to our regularly scheduled programming here shortly.

You know, after the next stupid storm dumps a foot of snow on us YES IN MARCH WTF.

Baby's First Clip

Zoebird is a lady from the cold, snowy north.

horse hats for a reason

I live in the desert.

you can't tell on account of how DST sucks

We're having some warm weather even by "high mountain desert" standards, which means nice rides get cut short because a certain bold, curvy lady is #Zoedying in the heat.

Y R SO HOT MOM

I have been LOVING this winter in terms of having a legit horse who just wants to horse and not wear blankets and be babied. But also. Let's not get heatstroke here. It's January after all.

is it really reusing a photo if it's still cute?

This weekend, I finally busted out the big clippers.

MOM R REAL CRZY 4 REAL

And went to town.

It's not the prettiest clip job I've ever done.

But.

My baby mare who had never seen big clippers before in her life was like MOM U CRAZY BUT HOKAY and stood there like a total champion. She was a bit bored/twitchy by the time I got to her butt, so hopefully we'll attack that another day.

I'm hoping as we get back to work this week, she'll be a lot more comfortable. The other obvious plus side is that now she gets to look completely adorable in a blanket.

I dunno why other horses look so boring in blankets but ZB is super extra adorable.

#Zoëfabulous

I can be a little bit partisan about my horses, as in I always assume they are the best and get a little defensive if people imply they are other than perfect. This particularly applies to the special ones (Cuna and now Zoë).

SMOOSH

Example:

Me: How is training going?
Trainer: Well her steering isn't very good so we worked on it...
Me: 11/10 I can get this horse in and out of more places than any "fancy dressage horse" in this barn right now.
Trainer: ummmm ok?

Cough.

Possibly a recounting of actual events.

what no it doesn't count as me having 5 saddles in the tack room if i don't actually own all of them

However.

I also think that 1) a horse that can only be ridden by one person isn't really trained and 2) all people should appreciate just how fabulous my Zoebird is.

Hence, the past week has been marked by this:

Zoëbird has been #Zoëfabulous because who are we kidding, she always is.

And that's not me being partisan. It's just the truth. Ha!

Bootcamp Begins!

I'm naturally a very driven person who tends to be a little high strung. Which, whatever. That sort of personality is why I can have a horse as an adult--self aware enough to work on my own, motivated enough to make it happen when things are hard.

and i use dik dik pics as emojis

I aspire to be honest in this space, so without saying anything negative about past four legs, let's just agree that the level of explosiveness I have dealt with in the winter especially took it's toll on me.

In a twist I hadn't thought about, I really don't ride in the indoor arena at all except in the winter after work, when I am usually alone. And the weather is bad.

Which means I'm addressing demons I'd completely forgotten about.

With a four year old.

Who has limited buttons.

sometimes you gotta gallop for SEVERAL STRIDES

That has made the past couple of weeks interesting in that WOW I did not realize how far behind the curve I am mentally.

I think the whole thing shows up in an even more ridiculous light because of how completely and utterly non-plussed Zoe is by all of it. Like. I mean. The indoor arena footing got redone. There are now dressage letters on the wall and (gasp!) a black mark where a tractor tire grazed the wall. Most other horses in work are apparently losing their shit over the offending mark.

it's over there somewhere

And has ZS Zoebird so much as batted an eye?

No.

She has not.

oh look a mildly interesting tarp billowing in gusting wind
whatevsies

What's more, I'd say she's been foot-perfect indoors, but that would be leaving out just how incredible the little lady is. Not only have her feet been perfect, but she's totally willing and on-task and just... wonderful.

I mean, I gush over her, but that's because she's pretty freaking amazing.

also totes adorbs

Anyways.

I certainly have my issues to sort through and I will, but they're the sort of thing that take time and patience and repetition, which again, is fine. It's just not the best for advancing Zoe's training, because she already understands how to toodle around on a long rein while mom remembers how to breathe.

meme via Courage Has Opinions

I was planning to stick Zoe in pro training starting next month, but our trainer had room in her schedule to start this month. It's turning out to be a great arrangement--Zoe gets competent, focused rides twice a week by my trainer. I ride on the weekends and as I have time during the week. If my brain needs to toodle or do groundwork or whatever, it's fine because I know the training is still happening.

And the less pressure is on me, the more I'm able to pull it together and actually have a good time. I'm learning that when I ask Zoe to go, she puts her little head down and just motors and you know what?

closest thing i have to riding media right now haha

It's pretty damn fun.

How to Build a Canter (during snowpacalypse while concussed when your friends will kill you if you ride)

This post goes out to the like... two of you who aren't bored out of your skull by lunging and training. But my world is solid ice with 10" of snow on the way and I still can't ride and I want to think about something I don't hate.

I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I was happy that I haven't sat on my horse since November, but our winter of SB crippling out to the barn and putting Courage on a lunge line is having some interesting side effects. See, Courage has a super shitty canter.

whee!

Well. That's not really true. He canters in ONE WAY. He tenses his underline and PLUNGES into canter and moves his body via momentum instead of strength. To me, that's why he can jump beautifully but everything goes to shit in between the fences--his technique is superb, but if he gets an off distance, he doesn't have the physical ability to change his canter to fix it and panics. I cannot say whether the canter is genetic thing or racing thing or a brain thing or what. I can just say that is what I have.

The past few weeks in the Vienna reins have been utterly fascinating for me. Courage is now trotting regularly like this:

omg

I'm not scrubbing the whole video for the perfect screen shot. I'm pulling a ton of screen shots and going "omg how do I choose". To me, this shot shows a moment of suspension allowed by Courage swinging through his whole body. I see withers lifted, topline engaged. I'd like to see more from behind, but this is new for us and that's where he's at. He walks like a panther, his w/t/w transitions are gorgeous, and everything is peachy.

The vienna reins aren't magic--they just set some parameters and allow him to find his balance within a certain range. I keep them adjusted pretty long because I don't want him to feel trapped, though not too long, because they don't need to flap uselessly. Plus, I'm not here for a headset. It's critical that I focus on Courage keeping his hind end moving so he's tracking up (at least) at both walk and trot. That is what mechanically asks him to move his back and use his body. If I let him get "behind the leg" as it were, he'd just be stuck in a pose and dumped on the forehand with his back jammed up.

no pics of that

But what about the canter?

This is what is the most interesting for me. Canter is and always has been a hot button issue for us. The transitions are bad and the canter itself isn't better. Under saddle, the standing martingale has limited the leaping and bolting, but not stopped it and we haven't been able to change it.

So basically we have two isssues:
1) Courage doesn't understand how to step up into canter the way he can walk to trot and
2) Courage doesn't understand how to push from behind, lift his withers, and canter correctly

We can only address one issue at a time, because reality. However, this is a serious chicken/egg issue--you can't really canter well out of a bad transition, but you also can't really get a good transition to a bad gait. So.

The past few weeks, I've intentionally set Courage up for the best transition possible t/c, then just taken what he's given me and worked the canter itself. That brings us shots like this:

up transition shit but oh well

Again, this was very intentional. I needed Courage to find a good canter that was balanced and comfortable. I had to play with this A LOT to get there.

I'd assumed that because his balance was not good and claustrophobia is his go-to, that we'd do big circles and go freely forward, but no. What I found was that if I kept Courage on a 10-15 meter circle and VERY engaged, I could get a few strides of the canter in the picture above. As soon as I got those strides, I'd ask for a downward transition or if he lost his balance, just let him drop to trot and reorganize. This actually makes sense--I'm asking him to change his whole way of going and to do that, I need to make a difference every stride, not just let him cruise around.

balanced and moving forward softly

It took a while, but Courage was starting to get where he actually had a semi-decent canter. He couldn't hold it long and his upwards transitions were not good, but he was starting to have consistent, good downward transitions and was able to make a couple 10-15 meter correct canter circles.

But transitions are important.

And again, doing the same thing wasn't working. No matter how well I set him up, the best transition I could get was this:

not attractive. video here if super interested.

 We got it down to one or two strides of blast off and way-less-blasty-blast off, but even with the small circles and extra transitions and good canter, we weren't breaking through to the next level. The only way Courage understood to get to the canter was to drop his withers, invert, and lunge.

The vienna reins do set parameters, but I didn't want to crank them in and force a headset to get my point across. Besides, if there's something Courage is the best at, it's bracing on the least resistance possible. So. Crank him in, create a new fun version of this problem. Whee!

So we tried another different approach.

I hooked Courage up in the vienna reins like usual, but instead of my normal "walk til he's soft and reaching, w/t/w transitions on a small circle until he's soft in the body, gradually move him out to a bigger circle and ask for more trot etc etc etc", I immediately put him on a small 5-8m circle and asked him to reach for the contact from the lunge line.

then this video

IE, instead of maintaining a position through his own good graces, I wanted him to actively seek what I was offering. I didn't care what gait and we definitely had some frenetic "omg wtf you crazy human i must leave" moments, but every time he backed off, I asked for more. Every time he hollowed, I made his circle smaller, and when he took an honest contact and went forward, we gradually moved onto a bigger circle.

As he began to understand the question, I started asking for actual gaits. Same as with his downwards though, I let him give me what he had and there was zero pressure or punishment if it wasn't quite right--we'd just do it again. Think ask for canter transition, but as long as he thinks about trying, don't ask again or push or punish. Just keep going, because Courage is enough of an overachiever at this point that I absolutely respect his try and don't want to frazzle him.

Our first videoed transition looks like this:

hmmm

Yeah it's not great, but what I see is lifted withers and an honest attempt to step up, if somewhat mediocre execution. But instead of star gazing, he's a little bit thinking about the contact.

And then I had this canter:

mmmmmm

Withers lifted, hind leg stepping under, topline engaged.

And he even offered me this moment:

oooooo

 It was half a stride, not a circle, but Courage offered a stretch in the canter of his own accord, which means he felt balanced and comfortable enough to experiment with his frame. I'll take it.

 We kept working the transitions and by the end, I had this:

mmmmmhmmmmm

I don't see this frame and think "omg pirouette canter", but I don't care. What I see is a horse that's giving me his best shot right now. Instead of launching his front end and leaving his ass behind, Courage is stepping up into the canter, he broke at the poll, and he's thinking very hard about using his topline. I mean. Look. That underneck is almost slack. Yeah, I'd like to see him lift his withers and be a little more uphill, but that will come.

It's a long, slow, tedious process, no two ways about it. I am absolutely fascinated by figuring out ways to break this down for him and I love watching it start to come together.

Now someday, I need to be able to actually get on the damn horse and see if any of this pans out under saddle.

this one time, i put tack on him for no reason

C'mon SB's body. Get it together.

What's Up With Courage

Lately, this blog has been mostly SB having meltdowns and stress shopping, which is pretty good entertainment I think. But hey, my wild-mustang-dressage-stallion is still burning hay, so I thought you might want to know what's going on with him.

rawr

When we (more or less) left off, he was in pro training 2x a week and I was riding the other days. Then BAM no riding for me. Between the godawful weather and Courage being a "challenging" horse, trainer said that riding him 2x a week was a hazard to everyone (she's not wrong) and we agreed to pick up again when I'm back in the saddle.

tail straight in air=no fun for anyone

Courage was essentially untouched for the month of December. It was mostly because I was at home in crippling pain, but Lindsey made me feel good about it by saying he probably needed a brain reset anyways and maybe a month to himself would give us more information and let him de-stress a little.

all wild mustangs wear blankets. yes.

Welllllllll let's just say the information I garnered was that Courage does really, really poorly with time to himself. The horse went feral. He was uncatchable. Un-handle-able. Unlikable. He spooked at everything and the few times I saw him, was a complete idiot. Like. Let's not talk about the night it took me 45 minutes to catch him in the indoor and then he soaked through two coolers. (And made me late on pain meds and omg that night hurt very very much).

horse shaming has it's own billboard

I'm finally starting to feel human again (many thanks to Ashley the Ninja Goddass, aka my Physical Therapist), so Courage is going back to work. Auntie Crystal recommended vienna reins for him, and despite my initial misgiving, these babies are life changing for Courage.

um hellooooooo

However, godawful weather has been a constant around here. Not a joke--we're breaking all the records since before they started keeping records. Which is stupid. But regardless, between me feeling like a steaming pile of poo most of the time and the roads being somewhere between "dangerous" and "terrifying" for most of the past few weeks, I get to the barn about three times a week.

who recognizes this horse? i do not

We're just lunging in vienna reins, which is actually super interesting to do with Courage, but not super interesting to talk about doing. For example, Courage physically doesn't understand how to step up into the canter like a dressage horse--he just tenses his underneck, braces, and flings himself. The shit transition translates into a shit gait and the whole thing is a shit show.

what? no. surely not this horse!

So. Since I can't ride, I've spent lots of time experimenting with how to explain to Courage that he can step up from behind and stay soft in his body. We do lots of spiral in/spiral out with w/t transitions until he's forward and through. And then we do trot/canter transitions with the same idea and just stay calm and patient.

withers lifted, hind legs stepping through. omg.

See, most of you checked out already because lunging is massively boring to do, much less to talk about doing. BUT. You'll notice that is a canter picture. And I don't usually post canter pictures because canter is not our thing.

i made a trail of shavings over the ice!

The Ninja Goddess says riding is 1-2 weeks out. The realist in me says riding a certain Wild Mustang Dressage Stallion with no turnout in a spooky indoor with snow sliding off the roof in subfreezing temps is not a great idea for a recent neck injury, even when one has a brain injury to impair one's judgement. The weather man says we're in for a deep(er) freeze.

this is why you have no friends, weatherman.

But spring is coming, I will get better, and someday, I will sit on my horse again.

Dammit. Just you wait.