Friday, February 19, 2016

IT DOES WHAT IT WANTS

Alyssa says I have a problem. She says I have to write a blog about why tack buying is a problem for me and how I need to stop. She says acknowledging I have a problem is the first step.

But then what happened?

SHE LEFT TOWN.

Bad move.

See, there was a local tack trailer having a sale and when someone observed that Lindsey and I would run wild without Alyssa's oversight, I thoroughly debunked them by pointing this out:

Because 1) you always need someone to run hog wild with and 2) Lindsey usually takes a little encouragement.

But we calculated our actual discount at the sale vs our actual needs and decided it would be way more fun to play ponies and eat fancy lunch instead.

We are models of moderation if I do say so myself. Alyssa was supposed to be home before any more potentially damaging sales occurred and I'm buried at work, so I'm not shopping much. Win win, right?

Of course, I'm squinting through morning haze at my tiny phone screen and get this message:

I mean, all she did was send a blog link along, right? So I read the blog. New to me, but the blogger's like "pretty, not the greatest quality, pretty, HERE HAVE A 50% OFF CODE".

You have my full attention.

I've seen the site in question before, but let's be real: it's an India-based knock off site with very likely the attendant quality levels. The prices weren't terrible, but meh. I have enough shit. I don't need shitty shit too.

But that whole discussion changes when already-marked-down bridles (and other things) can be discounted 50% oh AND there was free shipping over $38. From India. And the other blogger said she ordered and got her stuff in a week.

Um so you're saying I can get that Dy'on knockoff I've been wanting since forever for $44 dollars shipped? WHERE DO I SIGN UP
i just want it ok 
I compiled a glorious order and was like LINDSEY BUY ALL THE SHIT TOO and then she was like "what would alyssa do" because sometimes she has these weird self-loathing puritanical moments that totally don't suit her at all*. (Come to think of it, I should probably make some stupid plastic bracelets that say WWAD if I ever decide to go to recovery.)

So we decided to buy the one bridle I wanted using the 50% off and free shipping, and then if we liked it, then BUY ALL THE THINGS. #adulting

It was a great plan right up until we realized the code had a minimum threshold of $200.

So then Lindsey was like WHAT THE HELL BUY IT ALL NOW and threw her bridle in on the order too. BAM. Threshold met.

After all, with stuff like this in the bridle descriptions, we can't possibly go wrong:

"The knot point where the nose band crosses over the nose in figure eight specimen is highlighted with designer star or flower like leather art which is optimally cushioned to avoid any kind of itching to the animal. Appearance of the knot becomes indigenous and traditional with such a structure."

(I prefer my knots indigenous too. That's not racist, right?)

"comfortable padded buckle guard under the Jaw is provided to avoid any kind of pinching and itching to the animal and enhances the comfort level."

(This product prevents itching. By Magic.)

"Each stitch is precisely sewn and counts up to 10 to 12 stitches per inch"

(Average is the new precise.)

"Soft yet Strong PP inserted 16 mm Rubber grip reins with Martingale stoppers will not move out from the comfort grip of user hands."

(Bitch please. I can drop anything. ANYTHING.)

"Besides, it appears very eye catchy and adorable."

(In fairness, my whole reason for buying was "eye catchy and adorable", so they sold me right there.)

And who can forget the awesome pop up sale:

"HURRAH! WE HAVE AN UNAVOIDABLE OFFER FOR YOU. Use COUPON CODE : BRIDLE10 to avail 10% DISCOUNT on your purchase or agree to pay full amount."

(yes that is how english works)


Lindsey also pointed out (after we sent the money) that they actually have the best and most comprehensive bridle size chart I've ever seen. Dear bridle manufacturers: you all need to make this and have it easily searchable on the internet. ALL OF YOU.

The checkout was through paypal, so fingers crossed all is well. I'll keep you posted.

*Come to think of it, I think "weird puritanical self-loathing" might actually be translated as "budgeting". Food for thought.

35 comments:

  1. This is the company that I had my total nightmare custom bridle experience from. So god awful. I hope his quality and customer service has improved over the past couple years and yours turns out better than my two did! http://the900facebookpony.com/2014/12/30/the-custom-bridle-experience-from-hell/

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    Replies
    1. Yeah I figured it was. For $40, I'm willing to give it a shot and see what happens. It's wildly entertaining if nothing else.

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    2. I have paid more than $40 for entertainment of lesser quality than this blog, so I'd say you're already breaking even.

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    3. Right? That's how I feel about it. I'm still giggling today. #worthit

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  2. HAHAHAHA! I am sitting here cackling loudly to myself at this. You guys are the greatest.

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  3. i also prefer my knots indigenous. god speed and good luck - hope the bridle is fantastic and is full of non-itchy magic!!

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  4. Still laughing, still excited to see what exactly $44 bought!

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  5. Wow, indigenous and non-itchy. Noted.

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  6. Oh my. If you want to go Dy'On, just do it. The Euro is soooo looooow right now. It's caaaaaaaaalling yoooooooooooou.

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    Replies
    1. My heart is swelling with pride right now.

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    2. HAHA YES i just ordered my weight in crap from the UK cause the GBP/USD exchange rate is the lowest its been in like a decade or god only knows how long.

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  7. My husband came over to see what I was cackling about. He read the start over my shoulder. He says I don't need more enablers in my life.

    I kind of want to roll the dice on the Dyon knock off for my local hunter shows this summer . . .

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  8. I've DEFINITELY seen some of those bridles on amazon. Specifically the figure 8 decked out in clinchers, because i was looking for clincher nosebands. BRASS EVERYWHERE.

    i feel you on the bridle measurement chart. i bought some nunn finer stuff from the source (its amish made) and their catalog has every piece of leather measured out WITH PICTURES. i drooled a little on the catalog.

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  9. OK I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.
    So I've been... intrigued about those Royal Sports bridles for like 2 years now. Being from India, they could obviously be super sketchy, but they also have some beautiful stuff for not much money. I know they previously had customer service problems, which is why I never got anything, but now they're a little easier to deal with as you don't have to deal with them directly.
    When I had an amazon gift card a couple months ago, I said screw it, I'm going to buy one.The Royal Wave bridle fit all my criteria: plain crank, unique, wide padded crown, brown dressage bridle. I bought it, and honestly I LOVE IT. I was actually really impressed with the leather. No, its not a $300 bridle, but considering I got it for $20 it's beautiful and soft and pretty well-made. My friend then bought a 5-point and it's also very nice, and I actually bought two more breastplates that are set to arrive today. I'm then planning on buying the same bridle you bought for my other horse!
    So don't worry. It's not crap.

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    Replies
    1. OMG how are we not going to buy even more all the things now???

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    2. The two bridge breastplates arrived without fuss and are great! I'm super pleased with them again!

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    3. Wait, YOU CAN BUY THEM ON AMAZON?! I think I'm sold now. Christmas gift cards to the rescue!

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  10. Also, this is the same site I bought those breastplates from last week, and I know they were delivered to my house. I just haven't been home to see them yet! Do not fear!

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  11. Y'all may want to get that "weird puritanical self-loathing" looked at, like maybe get an ointment for it or I think there's a shot for it. It sounds worse than cedar fever.

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  12. The title of this blog combined with "weird puritanical self loathing" made me think of silence of the lambs.

    "It puts the bridle in the (shopping) basket or it gets the hose again!!!!"

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    Replies
    1. Yeah I'm pretty sure that's where Alyssa started talking like that. She hasn't seen this yet, but I think she's home tonight. :D

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  13. I feel like I need to do a blog on the amount of money I have spent due to the Sprinkler Bandit and $900 Facebook Pony...

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  14. Between you and Amanda... I don't know who's a worse influence. I look forward to your review! That might be just the nudge I need to get a bridle...

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  15. Now that the budget has taken several steel toed boots to the groin and is getting some relief finally... you just HAD to go and post something like this, WHY?

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  16. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! I am the worst influence ever. You're welcome. ;-p
    When I was first starting out, I ordered a batch of browbands from India, and the email exchanges always made me chuckle. I mean, I don't speak any of the languages they speak over there, so I can't exactly mock, but "I hope my email finds you in good mood with rosy health" is still one of my fave lines ever!

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  17. Looking forward to the review of this bridle!!

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  18. Odd that the blog post isn't available now

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  19. Well, I hate to say it, but if those bridles are the ones I think they are...they are total junk. Painted on color that will start flaking off almost immediately, and leather that won't take oil at all.

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  20. Any updates on the bridle? I've been considering buying from them for a while now but have heard very mixed reviews...

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    Replies
    1. I got it and am not displeased. I will have to write a review.

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    2. I can't wait to hear about it!

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  21. Can I ask the name of the specific bridle you got? I'm literally looking for the same one and I can't find it anywhere! I hope they didn't discontinue it, I've been looking at it for a while and just convinced my bank account to go through with the order ;)

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    Replies
    1. http://www.ebay.com/itm/Royal-Fancy-Square-Raised-Anatomic-Bridle-with-PP-Rubber-Reins-Havana-Full-SS-/322026612409?hash=item4afa4826b9:g:PqsAAOSwvgdW2A-f

      Just click through the seller's items for sale if you want a different color/size.

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