Share Your Fail Contest!

Despite a strangely-persistent rumor to the contrary, Courage and I fail A LOT. At all the things. I think I do a pretty good job documenting that via social media, and Alyssa is the queen of capturing our greatest fails in images.

not wearing boots

not turning right

not doing ground poles

still not doing poles

not trotting by the wall

just not

definitely not

who can forget this particular not?

not how you jump oxers

not this either

But why should I have all the fun? I SHOULDN'T. I should have more. So. Starting today, I'm running a social media fail contest. Here's how to enter:

1) Post your favorite fail photo on instagram, hashtag it #sprinklerbandits and tag me (@sprinklerbandits). Include the text: "SprinklerBandits Blog fail contest" (or whatever I write up and post on the image)(this image is hopefully already up, but if not, it will be shortly. Check my account.)

2) If you don't have instagram (no judging--I don't twitter), just email me the picture via the blog email (sprinklerbandits at gmail dot com).  

All submissions due by 3/18/16 at midnight with the winner announced 3/21/16. 

Winner of what, you ask? OH YEAH. I HAVE A PRIZE. 

Alyssa is not only the queen of photography, but also of hilarious custom cartoon drawing. Winner receives one (1) custom cartoon headshot drawing of the horse of their choice. Winner will be chosen by the mighty ruling force of the internet, aka Lindsey, Alyssa, and I will eat delicious food, laugh hysterically, and pick one submission. In case you want to know who to bribe. 

ARE YOU EXCITED IM SO EXCITED

Oh yes: I have one super obvious rule: The photo must either be taken by you or of you and used with the full consent of the photographer or model. NO STEALING. 

Teddy's Tack Trunk/Leistner Brushes Review

Here's a thing about Courage: he hates brushing.

Always has.

So when Amanda was like "omg new brushes so amazing" I was like "lulz bitchez" and moved on. But then I was getting all weird and sappy about Courage and Amanda was like "I swear it's real" and I got poking around Teddy's Tack Trunk website.

I wanted one brush to try out.

But a brush is like $20 and shipping is like $6 and there's a coupon code available on the site that offers 10% off orders $50 and over. And free shipping if your order is over $60.

So I carefully perused the softest and most picky-horse-approved brushes, piled 3 of them into my cart, added a tail brush, then got my 10% off (which made the tail brush free) and free shipping (which made my tack ho heart happy). It was Friday at like 1pm. I hemmed and hawed and screwed around and finally hit order around 3pm Mountain Time. On Friday.

The brushes were on my doorstep when I came home from work Monday afternoon.

Prinze is the dual colored one facing up.

Really people. You have got to try that.

But of course, outstanding customer service was only part one of this order. Part two: would Courage let the brushes anywhere near his precious princess self?

He's old enough to know better than to try to kick me, usually. He still lifts his hind legs (I won't smack him if the leg is on the other side of his body from me), grinds his teeth, savagely attacks the wall, twitches, and generally attacks abused. Before you call me a monster, keep in mind that he gets "groomed" with one semi-approved plastic curry to get the worst of the mud off (and is blanketed to prvent major mud) plus one specially-purchased soft brush that skims off the dust. The whole "routine" took under 60 seconds, and his reactions are actually less extreme than they used to be.

After knocking off the mud, I busted out our new brushes. First we used the Prinze natural body brush. The very-unassuming website description says this "Horse grooming brush, medium bristle texture, made of 100% pure horse hair and a lifted double edge of natural bristles. Lacquered beech wood body and durable leather strap."

That doesn't seem like much. It's pretty much the nicer version of the brush I already had, right?

old brush. $8.99 at the feed store.

WRONG.

The bristles are super soft and giving, with just enough resistance to really lift the dirt out of the coat. (Courage is body clipped--obviously these brushes cannot actually reach through intense winter yak hair). What's more magical, this brush did all that with far less actual pressure on the brush than my cheaper brush with longer bristles took.

Which meant that Courage stood there and kind of flicked his ears like "I should hate this but I don't quite".

omg who knew goats were soft?

Then I pulled out the goat hair brush. The website description is this:
Extremely soft and luxurious horse grooming brush made of long and thick, 100% pure goat hair with beech wood handle and a durable leather strap.

Let me tell you, they are DEAD SERIOUS about the luxurious thing. This brush is possibly softer than my sheepskin grooming mitt. It's amazing. I started using it to lift the traces of dust left behind on Courage's coat and OMG YOU GUYS.

He couldn't believe it either.

Seriously. For the first time in the years I have been with this horse, he just stood there and let me brush him. He dropped his poll below his withers. His body relaxed. Of course, when I stopped to take a picture, he twisted around like WTF WAS THAT and I got the above picture instead.

size comparison

I also got the goat hair face brush because I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It's the same as the big brush, but easier to use on faces. It seemed rather extravagant, but it got me free shipping.

It gave me the same bizarre experience as the goat hair body brush. Courage got tense when I got near his face, but then... nothing... he didn't quite relax into it yet, but instead giraffing it up and trying to get away, he just stood there. THAT'S HUGE. Seriously.

The goat brush was so soft and magical that I'm pretty sure angels were singing and I just kept using it and his coat started glowing.

I mean. The reason we get by with so little grooming in general is that this horse has fantastic nutrition and good coat genetics, but like. Omg. There is a whole 'nother level of shine that we're unlocking right now.

I got Courage out and worked him, then let him much hay in his stall and (get this!!) (omg!!) groomed him again while he was eating. HE WAS EATING LOOSE AND I WAS BRUSHING HIM.

That has never happened before. Usually if I even try, he leaves the stall.

Color. Me. Impressed. These brushes are phenomenal, the customer service is amazing, and wow. You have to try this stuff. And Teddy's Tack Trunk didn't even give me a kick back for saying that. (I am the worst at free shit. Otoh, all my opinions are completely my own.)

PS Those discounts were valid as of when I ordered. Looks like the current threshold is $75.

#1 Trainer-Choosing Criteria

My trainer legitimately likes my horse, which is a little weird considering what he's done to her.

She seen him pretty well at his worst in terms of not wanting to cooperate, not handling pressure, not trusting people, and not being easy to deal with. He's one of those horses that gives you every reason in the world to dislike him.

I mean, the day he moved in, she basically had to transform the run on his stall into an electrified elephant pen because he both fought over the fence with his friends AND chewed their tails off under it. Then he decided to be uncatchable in turnout. While doing that, he actually got grounded from group turnout TWICE on account of trying to kill people when they came to catch his buddies (and the tail eating thing). He bites. He gets weird injuries. He sometimes decides not to participate in questionable practices like "getting on the trailer" or "standing in the wash rack". He can't be ridden during beginner lessons.

He's flunked out of multiple trainers' programs because he is simply not an easy horse. I think the general sentiment was "dude just get something EASIER this isn't worth it".

early capriole?

But she still likes him.

And I'm realizing just how important that is.

When he's at his worst, she's at her best. She's kind and patient and did I mention patient? She's not pushing him to do anything on a schedule. She just accepts the horse we have any given day and quietly talks to him on whatever level he can handle. A lot of trainers can "deal with him", but very few see what we work through and still think he's worth the time and effort. And by very few, I think she's one of two three and the other one has a vested interest in our success.

And to me, this makes all the difference in the world. I can't help myself. I like the little guy. I feel like he's worth taking my time on. I feel like we were brought together for a reason. The more we build trust in each other, the more I realize what a cool horse he's really capable of being.

Getting here has been a long and involved process. It's one thing for me to say "yeah he's difficult, but I like him" to someone who believes in both of us.

It's a whole different thing to say it to someone who thinks I'm wasting my time. They see the challenges. They see the time and money and effort and heartbreak I've sunk into a horse that doesn't always look like he's going to give anything back. They make the rational analysis that I'd be better served by another horse who required less and gave more.

plus we're cute

If that's the person I'm looking to for counsel when I'm at my lowest and I'm struggling with how much I put in to a horse to still not be able to do basic things, then of course they're going to tell me to try something else.

And that's why it's so important to me to ride with people who not only believe in me as a rider, but people who genuinely like and understand my horse. With a horse like Courage, that SEVERELY limits the number of people I can train with. I hope that eventually, he'll be more rideable and we'll have more options.

all princess all the time

In the mean time, I'm just so glad that Courage has finally met someone just as patient as he is FABULOUS.

Teach Me Tuesday: Volunteering

only one of these is paid to be there

It's no secret that most horse organizations are run through 95% volunteer labor. Some organizations require that participants put in some hours to make things work together--others rely on sheer goodwill of the community.

What do you do about this? Do you volunteer at shows? Work behind the scenes with leadership? Pay your dues and rides a bunch of horses at shows to make them worth putting on?

Help a Sister Out: Bridles!

I'm half-heartedly bridle shopping (am I ever not?) but I'm not 100% sure what I'd be looking for if I'm actually looking. All I can say is a friend just got a Jerry's Harness bridle and I'm OBSESSED but that is a LOT of money to spend on a bridle annnnnnnd for someone who goes through tack as fast as I do, I'm not sure it's a good idea. 

So let's look at what I have current headshots of Courage wearing and see what looks best. I'm breaking it down by category, because to the surprise of no one, I have a TON of these pictures.

Non-traditional Dressage bridles (aka either not show legal or definitely not a current trend):

figure eight bridle

Frankenbridle

PS of Sweden Bridle

retro rolled bridle

In this category, all but the PS of Sweden are technically "legal", but none are current looks you see in the show ring. I adore the Frankenbridle, but it's brown and I really feel brown dressage tack mutes a bay, despite being totally fine with brown jump tack. (In fact, I hate black jump tack. Being a tack ho is complicated.) 

Next up: White padded bridles. I don't know how I feel about these. I love them on some horses (Totilas, Valegro), but less so on others. I had one many moons ago for my mare and I got bored of it rather quickly. That said, the look is growing on me again and it's totally on trend now and I could get a nicer one than I had before (Bobby's, gag). 

retro semi rolled brown with white padding

Almost frankened-black with white padding

Patent and rolled accents

Admittedly, the white is a bitch to clean, but I'm a one horse ammy with a bridle fetish. I'm kind of enchanted with the look. 

Brown Bridles I could get in black:

These are show legal (or would be with a standard modification) and I have or have had them. 

micklem bridle

Ovation bridle

PS of Sweden Flat Out bridle

The Micklem is a funny bridle. It actually works well enough on Courage's facial shape, but he doesn't particularly need it's function and I'd rather have something that makes him look less finicky. Let's face it: he's finicky enough about literally everything else.

I really like the narrow cheeks for his tiny head on the ovation and the PS is just fun. Basic, but useful. 

Traditional dressage look: these bridles are pretty standard for the show ring. 

Real Antares

fake Dy'on

red barn

All of these are shown with the flash on, which is pretty unrealistic for us. That said, the flash is most definitely removable and I'm not bothered by the flash tab because I do occasionally throw one on. Browbands are of course interchangeable. 

What what do you think? What's the best look for a little blaze-faced bay horse aiming for his first recognized dressage show?

Horses As Characters: Why Courage is Darkwing Duck

Austen started this off with a bang, then Marissa jumped in. And what can I say? As another blogger with a horse sporting a larger-than-life personality, I had to try it too.

I hope this isn't too 90s for most of you, but Courage really reminds me of the infamous Darkwing Duck. From his bloated self image to his dashing persona, the similarities are just striking.

This is how Courage sees himself:

 And this is him when he remembers to actually go to work:

 Then he realizes he might not have to do what I'm asking.

 And gets all mouthy to me.

 RAWR SUPER COURAGE

 Of course, his "let's get dangerous" catch phrase is absolutely perfect.

 But it's hard to take him seriously when he looks like this.

 Besides, any more his threats are more this:

 But he never fails to approach a lady with 100% confidence.

It just fits. I probably need to get him a purple cape.

The Look of Eagles: a Guide to the Feisty Horse

I always say that Courage poses dramatically. It's his version of a vice.

any excuse to use this picture

On more than one occasion, I've been told he has the "look of eagles" that you hear old-time horseman talk about. It makes sense when I think about it--in a lot of ways, Courage is one of the bravest horses I've been around. He is afraid of nothing. He'll occasionally startle, less frequently actually spook. He always wants to understand a situation and once he understands, he's unflappable. Spooking isn't his problem. OPINIONS are his problem.

In short, he exudes character out of every pore of his very-fine body.

when your friend doesn't know you're taking ass shots

That can be a good thing--early on in our tenure at our current barn, I was riding outside on a windy day. As we approached the gate of the arena, a GIANT tarp flew straight up in the air above our heads about ten feet in front of us. I prepared for last rites, but Courage didn't even blink.

Tarps aren't scary.

But character doesn't exist in a vacuum either. It's not secret that Courage LOVES his Eskadron bandage liners. I bought him sweet XC boots that are air-ventilated with non-slip lining. Pretty great idea right?

super cool boots

WRONG.

Guess who hates non-slip interiors with every fibre of his sculpted body?

Yeah he bucked more in his one attempt wearing these than I've seen him do in the rest of his life together. Put him back in polos and liners, BAM, bucking gone.

matching game on point

It's no secret how sensitive Courage is--I've gone on and on about how if I drag my shit to the barn, he will promptly lose his. This year, I've worked very hard on zen-master status, but Courage has taken to reminding me that he has shit too, and he'll flip it just whenever he pleases.

You doubt? I went to catch Courage out of his field the other day, which is something we do every.single.day. with zero issues. He ate the cookie I offered, then flung his head up and FLEW backwards like I was a horrible horse abuser.

I didn't react.

Then he walked off, flicking his ears back at me.

I talked to my friend and didn't look at him.

He walked a fifteen meter circle and stopped at the furthest point from me.

I chatted and laughed with my friend about her horse.

He walked between us, stopped square, and looked DIRECTLY at me.

We pretended he wasn't even there.

He walked forward and stopped a little closer to me.

I took one slow step towards him.

He pinned his ears and moved off briskly.

I went back to chatting with my friend.

He stopped on the far edge of his circle and looked at me.

After about 10 minutes of his YOU CANT CATCH ME CUZ WILD STALLION PLZ CHASE antics, he walked right up to me, I haltered him, and we went to work.

In every line of his body, you could see him waiting for me to get mad, chase him, give him ANY excuse to go flying around like a lunatic.

yeah i cherry picked a better shot

It was basically the same routine under saddle. He had decided that he wanted to pick a fight, so he blew sideways (because trotting omg) and DARED me to do something about it. I didn't kick. Didn't pull. Didn't react. Just kept posting around the circle.

It wasn't our best work ever. Trotting on a floppy rein with his nose poked out is not wildly attractive, BUT you know what he didn't do?

Flail. Bolt. Spin. Rear. Or even buck.

yeah not posting a shot from going right

It's taken over a year, but we finally got through a day of OPINIONZ without any major theatrics or trainer rides to prevent them. That. Is. Huge. Last year, he couldn't have kept it together. Last month, I couldn't have ridden through it without having a full personal meltdown. Instead of giving up on each other, we've just kept trying and figuring each other out.

It's still not always pretty, but we got it done. The "look of eagles" comes at a cost and maybe finally, he's decided that he can trust me a little, even when he doesn't want to, and things will still be ok.

Top-Level Dressage, Courage Style

As y'all are aware, Courage is a very talented individual who can be challenging under saddle. He's bored by constant repetition and needs things spiced up from time to time. In light of that, my trainer recommended introducing some FEI level stuff on the driving lines. Obviously, he's still a first-ish level horse and all, but she thought we should switch things up to keep his brain engaged and prepare him for the upper levels.

I asked if introducing this stuff on the ground would prompt unwelcome things under saddle, she said, "Don't worry. Everyone falls off sometimes."

So here's a breakdown of our FEI moves:

First:

Full-speed trip behind (American terminology).

You'll notice the symmetry in his hocks shows his very-level balance at this moment.This is the beginning phase. The angulation in his forelegs can be more extravagant the farther out behind him we can get those hocks.

Next:

This is a controversial move from the Cadre' Noir (the French school of lightness above all else) known as the "Elevacion' de' derriere". When performed under saddle, it is important that the rider lean back at this critical moment to create that all important "V" between the horse's neck and the rider's torso. The German say this should be done in a driving seat, but the French say that unnecessarily rushes the movement. You'll have to find what's right for your horse.

Then:

"Laufen und Dreschflegel" (footnote 1)

Whether or not you hold with the school of lightness, all the masters agree this is the correct finishing move. The head twist angle here is critical--it mirrors the dynamic tension in the spine. If the head was too straight, the stride would be too long, which would weaken the movement. This should never be ridden as a standalone movement. It is ALWAYS the transition from the Elevacion' to, well, let me show you.

Immediately following:

"Sehr Schnell Rennen" (footnote 2)

This move is very similar to the extended gallop. The emphasis is really on loading the hind end to maximize the exuberance with which the horse uses the front end. It is very important to keep the horse's head contained at this point. A failure to do so frequently entails resuming the lesson in a completely different county than the one you started in. If your instructor has a travel fee, that adds up quickly.

This is basically just another shot of the same "Sehr Schnell Rennen", but in another phase of the stride. As Courage progresses, we'd like to see less forward motion and more elevation of the stride.

But hey. We're just getting started at this level and I'm pleased with his progress. What do you think?!

Footnotes--these phrases are from the original German and really weren't mean to be translated in to the english language. We just don't have the nuance to REALLY express what they mean, but this is roughly them in case your strange foreign brain wants to sort of grasp what's happening.

1) Run and flail
2) Run like hell
Again, there's just something about the Dreschflegel that doesn't come through in the English.

Teach Me Tuesday: Breeches and Grip

Here's a funny thing: two different trainers I've worked with have informed me they only ride in kneepatch breeches (one eventer, one dressage). Specifically, they don't want their seat to stick to the saddle in case they need to move around.

re using this shit cuz i'm not retaking a mirror selfie

I'm not really one to make choices based on what my trainers ride in. I mean, I'm not a pro, I don't ride 10 horses a day, and I'll definitely take whatever advantage I can get.

But I'm trying to change a very-confirmed jumper seat to a somewhat ok dressage seat and guess what?

just me and my shadow. and my horse. and photographer. etc.

I totally can't do it in full seat breeches. They stick me to the saddle (even a slick english-made saddle) and then when I'm out of position, I can't get back to where I want to be.

So what's it for you? Knee patch? Full seat? Riding tights? Leggings? Jeans?