Wednesday, June 15, 2016

We Go to a Horseshow Part the Third and Final

Yesterday was a weirdly emo note to leave off on. I was very, very confused. Frustrated. Not angry, not really sad. Just sort of in this weird brain space where nothing felt right or good or bad or anything. I wasn't (and I'm not) mad at Courage. I was just stumped. I couldn't point to things that should have changed. I can't fix it and I can't make a plan, because I don't know what's wrong. Or if anything's wrong. Or if it's normal. Or if it's me. Or if it's him.

I read some articles and talked to one of my favorite hot OTTB experts and window shopped for first level horses, which confirmed that I can't afford them. And then I did what everyone having a weird horsey-crisis should do--go back to the show grounds to crew for a friend.
gotta scratch the itch

The weirdest thing happened.

I saw the hellmare.

And see, I haven't seen her in almost five years. She and I had a hate/hate relationship and after some complications with her sale, I have no contact with her owner. Which is fine. They deserve each other.

So I'd spent the previous 24 hours thinking I needed a warmblood and then I saw the one I used to own and watched her go around. And yeah. She's still gorgeous. And fancy. And all that.

Oh, and she's 100% still evil and I don't miss her for a second. I didn't want to ride her. Or see her. Or pet her. Or anything.
enough about that bitch. let's talk about this guy.
And I guess in a really odd way, that sort of put it in perspective for me.

I can't afford a made horse, which means I have to make my own.

Making my own is going to mean bumps in the road.

The bumps I had with the hellmare made me want to quit riding entirely.

The bumps I have with Courage are confusing and confounding, but he's not trying to kill me.
um plus how cute are we?
 And the more I think about it, the more I'm ok with it. All of it. Courage had to learn to do all the movements in the tests slowly and at home. Now he's learning how to put them all together in the dressage court and it's hard for him. It's going to take time and patience there just like it took time and patience at home. He's still my horse, the one I can't wait to see and enjoy figuring out.
well. most of the time.
We're not brilliant this year. We're not even very good. It hurts my pride to get terrible scores because I know how much better we're capable of, but the only way to prove that is to keep working.
enjoy the journey
One day at a time.

PS does someone want to buy me nice show gloves? Size 8. In case you were thinking that my sad, dead crochet gloves need to go.


  1. I think you've earned yourself some Roeckl's by this point.

  2. Keep on keeping on, you'll get there. I think you are totally right that as long as it took for him to get things at home, it will take as long or longer to have it in the show ring.

  3. +1 on the Roeckls. You won't go back.

  4. Perspective is a glorious thing!

  5. It's crazy how we can reframe the situation in our minds once we step out of it. You guys are making so much progress so quickly - I'll be honest, I'm completely jealous because it feels like Dassah and I are working just as hard, for so much longer, and we're still not as competitive as you guys. So, there's that!

  6. I love this post. I wasn't sure how to comment on your last two. But perspective is a F-ing great thing.

    ALSO - I know someone who is selling really nice white show gloves that will fit you super cheap. I'll introduce you via fbook.

  7. that last picture is everything <3

  8. Horses are nothing if not humbling creatures. Keep on doing what you're doing, and I know you'll be able to look back and say YEAH. WE FINALLY GOT THERE BITCHES!

    1. P.S. Purchasing a made horse will not solve all your problems... ask me how I know, LOL

  9. You guys will get there, and when you do you will kick all the ass. Also remember that your 'terrible' scores areare what some people work for years to be good enough to achieve. Yes you can totally do better, but at least they wouldn't be better eventing scores. Keep on keeping on.

  10. So glove suggestion - try these:

    Yes, $10. They're coming from England, so you'll have to wait a bit for them to arrive, but they are SO soft and comfortable. My mom brought me a pair of the brown ones from Europe years ago, and I'm so, so happy that I found them online.

  11. lmao they deserve each other.

    Sidenote I can't believe I'v been reading your blog that long... crazy!

    Also as many have already said, you all will get there. I second what redheadlins says...your "terrible: scores are someone else victories.

  12. How frustrating... sorry to hear things aren't going the way you had planned.


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